I’m only recently off the market with a new girlfriend. I forgot how much chit chatting over the phone can be involved with a relationship. I loathe long, inconsequential conversations if it is not in-person, especially if it extends for an hour or so.
I simply do not have the time for this on a daily basis, but of course want to be sensitive to my significant others needs. How do you guys/girls manage it?
i set boundaries. if they can accept them, good; if not, ciao. when i do set time to spend with someone i make sure i’m fully engaged and in the moment with them.
What did you have for lunch? Turkey? Sounds good! Mayo or mustard? What kind of mustard?..
You need to establish early on that you do not have time to chat for long periods. Tell her this upfront and set the expectation. This would be a deal breaker for me if my SO wanted to chat for hours on the phone. No thanks. I thought texting solved all this. Quick one liners throughout the day eliminates any need for phone chatter.
Sounds like you’re not really interested in the person.
#GetMarried
^ There isn’t much change with marriage. My SO still wants to talk for extended time periods when away. I just tell her that I’m not good at talking on the phone and do much better in person. It’s important to set the expectation that it’s not going to happen.
I hear you on hating the phone convos, but that has varied relationship to relationship. When I’m busy, I hate trying to block off time to listen to them talk about meaningless stuff, but at the end of the day that often has more to do with the depth / blandess of the person than my schedule as I’ve found some people i would talk to endlessly.
It may be a good sign for you to disengage. Some of my strongest past relationships were ones where I could talk for an hour or two to the girl on the phone and time felt like it was flying. I dated this girl from Kuwait for a bit and basically had a skype call going on my laptop in the background for hours at a time while we both went about our day or evening in the apartment.
that bish better have my money. Stay off that instagram its contagious.
I can’t remember the last time I called or was called by someone just to shoot the breeze. I thought that was an activity unique to chicks. hell, I cannot even handle inconsequential conversation in person unless it involves booze and the opportunity to get laid.
Start making all the conversations about you and she won’t want to talk so much anymore either.
My wife is much busier than me and has no time for 1 hour chit chat. So I recommend that you enroll your gf in a time consuming program like med school, law, Indian CA or something. Win-win over there.
Higgmond,
I often disagree with you but your comment is gold and I 100% agree with you. I tried this recently and my wife lost interest and stopped talking altogether.
Certainly agree and I actually enjoy it with her. Just not on a daily basis.
@MailSnoop; definitely interested, but see above comment to BS.
Always appeal to interest, not just reason. Whatever reason you give her, think of a way to say it so that she feel the benefit is to her.
I was dating someone when I was doing the CFA and I told her something like “I’m so busy all I have is 30 mins this evening and I’d like to spend them all talking to you.” Something like that…
^Key word in this statement is “I WAS…”
Good eye haha, didn’t work out for other reasons.
So to answer Rodney King, yes, we can all get along.