Darn foreigners taking our (religious) jobs

“Short on Priests, U.S. Catholics Outsource Prayers to Indian Clergy”

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/13/world/short-on-priests-us-catholics-outsource-prayers-to-indian-clergy.html

“American, as well as Canadian and European churches, are sending Mass intentions, or requests for services like those to remember deceased relatives and thanksgiving prayers, to clergy in India.”

“In Kerala, a state on the southwestern coast with one of the largest concentrations of Christians in India, churches often receive intentions from overseas. The Masses are conducted in Malayalam, the native language. The intention – often a prayer for the repose of the soul of a deceased relative, or for a sick family member, thanksgiving for a favor received, or a prayer offering for a newborn – is announced at Mass.”

So you’re telling me the priest I talk to is not really Mike from Indiana, who has a suspiciously exaggerated midwestern accent?

This sounds like an elegant solution. There are over a billion subcontinentals. If you can get even a portion of them to pray for you for a modest fee, you and your loved ones can get sprung from purgatory in no time.