“Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”
“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”
Jim Furyk’s swing “looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”
“That’s a great shot with that swing.”
“It’s OK - the bunker stopped it.”
At Augusta 2011 - “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.”
“That was a great shot - if they’d have put the pin there today.”
“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
“That green appears smaller than a Pygmie’s nipple.”