engagement pressure

[Yayyywork]

Thanks for that perspective, never thought about it in that way. I still think its pretty cheesy either way but nice to hear it from that angle. I still think as far as weddings go you got it right with the vegas wedding though

[Ghibli]

^Those that are hung up with the appearance of misogyny are probably just exposing their own internal conflicts. This is especially typical on the left side of the political spectrum. The rest of us have moved on.

[Sweep_the_Leg]

@Black_Swan

^People are getting butt hurt about the stupidest shit. In some ways the relationships between parents and their children will for the most part vary across gender lines. They just do. I’ve heard from my friends that have had girls then boys that within months boys behave completely differently. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions but guys and girls are biologically different in their behavior. People have this obsession with trying to repaint reality into perfectly equal whitewashed behavior then getting mad when other people are ok with celebrating life’s differences.

If you don’t want to give your daughter away or whatever, fine, don’t. Jesus. I’ve also seen fathers speak about their sons at the wedding and most girls I know look / looked forward to their father walking them down the aisle or miss it terribly if they can’t have it (death, family situation, etc).

It has less to do with the girl being given away like some trinket and far more to do with the fact that the father daughter relationship has changed with the father now (most likely permanently) no longer being the primary male figure in the woman’s life that she can go to for support etc. It’s simply a ceremonial nod saying “thanks for being there” before the Dad’s role is diminished. If anything, a similar ceremonial thank you should be given by sons to their mothers but everyone already knows they’re just going to continue to meddle anyway so why fool ourselves.

Yeah, I mean, I’m looking forward to (one day far, far away) walking my daughter down the aisle. Thought this was fairly well understood.

Now, I’m not looking forward to giving the groom’s dad 400 head of cattle. Where do I even get 400 cows and how am I suppose to store/transport them?

[Matt_Likes_Analysis]

400!?! your daughter must be rough looking.

[Sweep_the_Leg]

Dowry inflation is a bitch.

[Turd_Fergeson]

there they go again. they know how all relationship dynamics are supposed to work in an enlightened society. even if they are not themselves a daughter or they have not raised a daughter, they are here to undo our backwards cultural norms. thank god for liberal fascists.

[krazykanuck]

@Yayyywork

Brides father got pretty drunk, which is of course one fantastic time honored tradition I can get behind.

A wedding I went to a couple years ago, we had the bride’s dad playing beer pong with us at the after party.

[igor555]

@whatsyourgovt

so my girl thinks rings/weddings are a waste and doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on these events. She also never brought it up -albeit we discussed it - until i went to visited her family for the first time in person (former soviet union country). All her friends thought this would be a perfect time -which it would be if i was ready - but instead i simply asked her father for permission for her hand. She was ecstatic when she heard that but then the texts from her friends changed the mood asking for ring pics and instantly discounted what i thought was a major life event.

with all that said, i dont foresee much difference pre/post engagement. we already live/own a house together.

what country?

[whatsyourgovt]

@igor555

@whatsyourgovt

so my girl thinks rings/weddings are a waste and doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on these events. She also never brought it up -albeit we discussed it - until i went to visited her family for the first time in person (former soviet union country). All her friends thought this would be a perfect time -which it would be if i was ready - but instead i simply asked her father for permission for her hand. She was ecstatic when she heard that but then the texts from her friends changed the mood asking for ring pics and instantly discounted what i thought was a major life event.

with all that said, i dont foresee much difference pre/post engagement. we already live/own a house together.

The one with the most beautiful women. I’ll grant you one guess and tell you if you’re right or wrong.

what country?

[whatsyourgovt]

@Yayyywork

@whatsyourgovt

What country are you referring to? in my culture (italian) this is a must and a symbol of being a man. She is foreign and her culture is the same. I personally like it and expect it if i ever have a daughter.

Shes asian (and luckily her family doesnt believe in any of the stupid shit from that culture), i understand the cultural thing I suppose it just seems really antiquated to me. As if you are saying your daughter doesnt have the capability to make the decision on her own. Although I realize its largely a formality as the daughter is going to do what she is going to do anyway and he will obviously say yes. Based on the Italian families I know (although not limited to just Italians, there are plenty of cultures like that) the older generations are incredibly misogynistic and the culture is pretty traditional in that sense so I can see it being important.

@gringo\_bob

I totally agree. I was at a really traditional old Scottish wedding earlier in the summer and i found a lot of it really cringey. The whole “we present to you mr and mrs bob mcsporran” as if it’s 100 years ago and she’s now totally represented by her husband. The father of the bride’s speech was just a constant flow of misogynistic bullshit. I spent most of it wondering why he even gets a speech. the bride was the biggest gobshite you’ve ever met and she just sits there as the men do speeches, i think the bride should do a speech at weddings.

Luckily the wedding I was just at the brides fathers speech was just a “thanks for coming and sharing in our daughters marriage to this young man, have a great time” which is a timeless classic you cant go wrong with. Yea a lot of marriage stuff is so ridiculously misogynistic, I find it pretty strange. I suppose the parents want to work themselves in some way since in many cases they pay for a chunk of it. I think the father daughter dance is a nice idea though, and most weddings now seem to have a groom/grooms mother dance as well which is a nice gesture I suppose. Brides father got pretty drunk, which is of course one fantastic time honored tradition I can get behind.

I’m pretty misogynistic, i wont lie. women love that.

[el_macca17]

@Yayyywork

Shes asian (and luckily her family doesnt believe in any of the stupid shit from that culture ), i understand the cultural thing I suppose it just seems really antiquated to me. As if you are saying your daughter doesnt have the capability to make the decision on her own. Although I realize its largely a formality as the daughter is going to do what she is going to do anyway and he will obviously say yes. Based on the Italian families I know (although not limited to just Italians, there are plenty of cultures like that) the older generations are incredibly misogynistic and the culture is pretty traditional in that sense so I can see it being important.

Part in bold is a really good start at building credibility in an argument. As if it was all just one massive bullshit culture

Literally no one in the west is giving away anyone - asking the father/mother is really getting his blessing and him accepting you into the family. I see it more as a sign of respect than a negotiation, especially since dowry’s aren’t really a thing anymore. Other than the written word, tradition is one of the few things (along with food) that bind you to your heritage - if you like it, do it, if you don’t, don’t do it, it’s your choice.

[Sweep_the_Leg]

@mk17

especially since dowry’s aren’t really a thing anymore.

Then what the fuck am I going to do with all these cows?

[Matt_Likes_Analysis]

^ beef, it’s what’s for dinner?

[Ramos4rm]

@whatsyourgovt

so my girl thinks rings/weddings are a waste and doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on these events. She also never brought it up -albeit we discussed it - until i went to visited her family for the first time in person (former soviet union country). All her friends thought this would be a perfect time -which it would be if i was ready - but instead i simply asked her father for permission for her hand. She was ecstatic when she heard that but then the texts from her friends changed the mood asking for ring pics and instantly discounted what i thought was a major life event.

with all that said, i dont foresee much difference pre/post engagement. we already live/own a house together.

Supyogov…don’t be a fool. She’s a quality girl and of course will not tell you in your face she wants an awesome ring and her dream wedding. You gotta give it to her anyway…or she will be secretly disappointed with you forever. Never listen when a girl says she doesn’t care about rings/wedding.

[whatsyourgovt]

@Ramos4rm

@whatsyourgovt

so my girl thinks rings/weddings are a waste and doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on these events. She also never brought it up -albeit we discussed it - until i went to visited her family for the first time in person (former soviet union country). All her friends thought this would be a perfect time -which it would be if i was ready - but instead i simply asked her father for permission for her hand. She was ecstatic when she heard that but then the texts from her friends changed the mood asking for ring pics and instantly discounted what i thought was a major life event.

with all that said, i dont foresee much difference pre/post engagement. we already live/own a house together.

Supyogov…don’t be a fool. She’s a quality girl and of course will not tell you in your face she wants an awesome ring and her dream wedding. You gotta give it to her anyway…or she will be secretly disappointed with you forever. Never listen when a girl says she doesn’t care about rings/wedding.

always the voice of reason. I’ll make it so im not the only one in the relationship with heavy hands. More details to come at the next AF meetup.

[klaudnine]

If getting married is not worth spending money I dunno wth is worth spending money for, it’s probably one of the most important life event.

[klaudnine]

If getting married is not worth spending money I dunno wth is worth spending money for, it’s probably one of the most important life event.

[whatsyourgovt]

@klaudnine

If getting married is not worth spending money I dunno wth is worth spending money for, it’s probably one of the most important life event.

You could use the money on such better things. 100k spent on a wedding could afford countless experiences together in numerous countries. I’d much prefer to spend weeks traveling the world than one surrounded by expensive flowers.

[Analti_Calte_Equity]

@Ramos4rm

@whatsyourgovt

so my girl thinks rings/weddings are a waste and doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on these events. She also never brought it up -albeit we discussed it - until i went to visited her family for the first time in person (former soviet union country). All her friends thought this would be a perfect time -which it would be if i was ready - but instead i simply asked her father for permission for her hand. She was ecstatic when she heard that but then the texts from her friends changed the mood asking for ring pics and instantly discounted what i thought was a major life event.

with all that said, i dont foresee much difference pre/post engagement. we already live/own a house together.

Supyogov…don’t be a fool. She’s a quality girl and of course will not tell you in your face she wants an awesome ring and her dream wedding. You gotta give it to her anyway…or she will be secretly disappointed with you forever. Never listen when a girl says she doesn’t care about rings/wedding.

+100

[Turd_Fergeson]

who spends 100k on a wedding? nothing is worth 20k an hour. well almost nothing. an hour with your all time top 5 at the same time might be worth it. but that’s it, and only if it doesn’t end upon 1st release. i don’t know, call me a traditionalist.