English Grammar for Dummies

I came across this book and felt inspired to share the first review: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764553224/ref=cm_rdp_product_img 4,713 of 4,789 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars is the best book!, May 14, 2005 By Nikolai Krestinsky (America!) - See all my reviews This review is from: English Grammar For Dummies (Paperback) When i first come to America, my english did cause me problems. In Soviet Russia i was strong teacher, my english i know is the best in all of Petropavlovsk. My brother, Mikhail, he say to me, “Nikolai you go to America, they make you rich like czar, take many woman as lover, kill many bear”. My brother, he is very wise, is greatest toymaker in all of Russia. So next day i wake up, sell my house, say goodbye to wife and children, and go to America to become millionaire. Then in America, I go to job interview and they say to me “Nikolai, you are not for the job here, you are not the skills we need, your english is poor like child”. I take that man and smash his table, i say “someday i will be greatest man in all of country, your children will wish me their father!”. That day my anger is best of me. It is then i know i must learn better english, so i buy book “English Grammer it is for Dummies” by Mr.Woods. Now i am perfect english grammer! I write letter to Mikhail, he write back “Nikolai, your english is like a god, you will be millionaire soon! all of Petropavlovsk is proud for you! good luck brother! please send letter when you are president or maybe even czar! Hahaha! also, your wife is killed by bear”. So i say thanks to Mr.Woods for his book! When i am czar your family will be spared! Hahahaha! (is joke).

Haha. There are tons of quotables in that.

“also, your wife is killed by bear” - an instant classic

Other epic Amazon reviews I remember (and these are just from memory, I’m sure there are more): Gallon of Milk: http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 3 wolf moon t-shirt: http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve-Medium/product-reviews/B000NZW3J8/ref=sr_1_cc_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!: http://www.amazon.com/Control-Christian-Marriages-Priesthood-Children/product-reviews/1425992609/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Love. It.

incredible. i love laughing out loud at work

Ohai, never a dull post. Good stuff man!

bootiful and borat


>, i say > “someday i will be greatest man in all of country, > your children will wish me their father!”. That’s a gem… haha. Qqqbee will be instantly falling in love with this dude… and then they will be together killing bear… haha.

Another Amazon review Playmobil Security Check Point http://www.amazon.com/Playmobil-3172-Security-Check-Point/dp/B0002CYTL2/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1317886138&sr=1-2-catcorr

Came across this awhile back, has a few gems: Amazon Product - Uranium Ore “I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.” http://www.cracked.com/article_18939_8-stupid-amazon-products-with-impressively-sarcastic-reviews.html

This one is hilarious. First scroll through the product photos (the ones after the first three were added by customers) one at a time before reading the reviews… http://www.amazon.com/Wheelmate-Laptop-Steering-Wheel-Desk/dp/B000IZGIA8/ref=pd_sbs_t4