To all of you in love with your girl/guy, and maybe contemplating the next big step marriage- I urge all while on good terms to have financial agreements in place before taking the plunge, especially when each as assets going in. Although what has to be an awkward conversation, it is much easier to discuss financial matters when there is love than when there isn’t and divorce is inevitable. Please listen to me. This can help protect BOTH sides if the marriage unravels.
Keep you wealth in offshore asset protection trusts!
I’ve thought long and hard about this. I’ve been with my girl a long time and marriage in the next few years is certainly in the realm of possibility. Can we hear stories from people who headed into marriage with a pre-nup and people who got hitched without one? As well as how things turned out for the people down the line who got divorced (of course mentioning if you did or did NOT have a pre-nup when it all happened)? I’m also curious to hear as to how people who have a pre-nup brought the subject up with their s/o. Neither my girlfriend or I have ever been married, we’ve dated since college, and I know she finds the subject distasteful. Seems like it’d be a hard thing to discuss, but I 100% can see the value of having talked about “how things will work out, if things don’t work out”.
Before I got married, I brought up prenup agreements. My wife thought I was joking and I was dismissed.
Got hitched without one. I didn’t have a lot of assets (maybe 15-20k), she had quite a big more than that from family… Smart.
Same here. No prenup. Her family comes from quite a bit of money so got lucky I guess.
Interesting topic. Not sure what the process would be to set it up, but certain assets would definitely not be touchable by some greedy broad should things go sour. Particularly my parents assets as their hard work should be dedicated in the way they wanted, which is for education, starting a business, etc… (things the can provide value). Its really disgusting how people salivate over inheritance, divorce money, etc…
ohai Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Before I got married, I brought up prenup > agreements. My wife thought I was joking and I was > dismissed. Nice sublte Seinfeld reference. + 4 Kostanzas or is it Castanzas.
“cant stand ya”
Actually, it’s not a Seinfeld reference - that’s what really happened to me. But thanks for the acknowledgement.
not needed in my case…we’re both broke
I don’t have a prenup, but since then I’ve found ways to protect some assets, just in case. We have children so I’d be r@ped in a divorce settlement, so I better take care of my side too. Besides, as long as I provide the kids with enough to maintain their current lifestyle and secure their education, I don’t think it’s fair to leave me Detroit-style. I try to behave now so I hope not to be in such situation, but you never know.
Inner Evil Voice Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don’t have a prenup, but since then I’ve found > ways to protect some assets, just in case. We have > children so I’d be r@ped in a divorce settlement, > so I better take care of my side too. Besides, as > long as I provide the kids with enough to maintain > their current lifestyle and secure their > education, I don’t think it’s fair to leave me > Detroit-style. > > I try to behave now so I hope not to be in such > situation, but you never know. +half - nicely done. Gotta have something on the side.
I specialize in this stuff (work for “THE” firm in this area in fact). My advice does not come cheap; however, since I am OG, I will give some advice: 1. Bernake’s solution does not work. If you get found out (and believe me, unless your assets are not disclosed to the U.S. government, you will be found out) and you did not disclose this stuff, you WILL get hammered in the judgment if this thing goes to the family law courts. By the way, you have to sign stuff verifying that it is indeed all of your assets and debts that are listed. Also, the tax courts can access your divorce case files (it’s not common, but it’s possible.) 2. If you make 100k+, sign the pre-nup. If you have any intellectual property, sign pre-nup. If you have any really big interests in anything that you will cry over, sign it. I have not yet met anyone that went into a marriage thinking they will get a divorce. But the last time I checked census stat’s, divorce rates are 50%. HOWEVER, expect that your significant other will give you a lot of crap for this, and for good reason. Cost of not having a pre-nup = you don’t want to know. It depends on the person’s net worth, but… let me just put it this way - people have been dropped off the Forbes’ billionaire and millionaire list due to this reason. Some of it is unavoidable. (Divorce laws are different for each state.) Yeah and if you’re getting a divorce in California and you’re high net worth, I will probably end up working on your case. 
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I specialize in this stuff (work for “THE” firm in > this area in fact). > > My advice does not come cheap; however, since I am > OG, I will give some advice: > > 1. Bernake’s solution does not work. If you get > found out (and believe me, unless your assets are > not disclosed to the U.S. government, you will be > found out) and you did not disclose this stuff, > you WILL get hammered in the judgment if this > thing goes to the family law courts. By the way, > you have to sign stuff verifying that it is indeed > all of your assets and debts that are listed. > Also, the tax courts can access your divorce case > files (it’s not common, but it’s possible.) > > 2. If you make 100k+, sign the pre-nup. If you > have any intellectual property, sign pre-nup. If > you have any really big interests in anything that > you will cry over, sign it. I have not yet met > anyone that went into a marriage thinking they > will get a divorce. But the last time I checked > census stat’s, divorce rates are 50%. HOWEVER, > expect that your significant other will give you a > lot of crap for this, and for good reason. > > Cost of not having a pre-nup = you don’t want to > know. It depends on the person’s net worth, but… > let me just put it this way - people have been > dropped off the Forbes’ billionaire and > millionaire list due to this reason. Some of it is > unavoidable. (Divorce laws are different for each > state.) > > > Yeah and if you’re getting a divorce in California > and you’re high net worth, I will probably end up > working on your case. You’re a triple OG. ETA: You got skreet kred and court cred - an impressive combo indeed.
She’s more OG than Salt n’ Peppa.
If you think you’ll need a prenup maybe that is a good sign you shouldn’t marry her. If I ever divorced my woman she would insist I take everything, she cares a lot more about me than money or even herself, hence why would I ever divorce someone that awesome. All these greedy scumbag chicks make me sick.
^I agree with purealpha’s first sentence. However, also keep in mind that “hopeless romantics” get hurt the most, emotionally and financially, during a divorce process. In reality, I would say 90% of the population does not need a pre-nup (partly because 90% make less than 100k). However, if you’re filthy rich, marriage is harder. Why? 1. You will attract golddiggers. Hot ones in fact. 2. Mo’ money = Mo’ to lose 3. American values such as consumerism… This is social commentary on my part, but basically, you can shop around, so many “options.” This is in conflict with the old-fashioned marriage values and the premise of romantic love, but I will refrain from my socio-cultural analysis and save it for a paper. 4. Money changes you and your spouse. It’s statistically significant that when a spouse changes in income drastically (can either be an upswing or downswing), chances of a divorce are higher. Chances of divorce are also statistically higher if: a) The woman makes more than the man b) If your parents were divorced c) If you divorced in your first marriage, the likelihood of divorcing again is greater d) Certain professions also have higher divorce rates (i.e. businessmen like yourselves with A-type personalities and are risk-takers, lawyers, entertainers, etc.) 5. If you’re not mega rich (I’m talking about mega millionaire status) and you’re contemplating a pre-nup… that can be an indication that you like your money more than you do your potential spouse, and if that’s the case, it’s a recipe for disaster. Realistically speaking, even if you make 6 figures, a pre-nup is not necessary because your biggest asset will probably be your house and retirement. However, looking at the demographics of this forum having people raking in well above 6 figures… great to be you. Even without a pre-nup, if you’re this rich and you get a good attorney / forensic accountant, you might end up having a good settlement case unless you screwed up really badly and mis-managed your finances, have most of your developments stem during the marriage and/or have a CRAZY/unreasonable ex-spouse. To be f’real though, California divorce laws are beautiful because the framework allows room for both community property and separate property. It’s a good balance and “fairer” considering other options. Did some research on this, and the findings will show that divorce will make both parties poorer (i.e. economies of scale is lost, division of assets / wealth / income stream, transactional costs, etc.) but the party to lose out the most is the non-income earner which makes sense from a pure mathematical standpoint. (I was actually quite surprised when I found research that were quite gender-biased and argued that the women almost always lose out in a divorce because of gender discrimination. Although gender discrimination is very prevalent in our society, I did not think the divorce laws necessarily discriminate based on gender as much as it did with previous socio-economic status. I also thought it was ridiculous how all these econ Ph.D’s had these crap, esoteric mathematical formulas to predict divorce behaviors that has no relevance to real life and how things are actually played out.) In essence, it will also not make you go from riches to rags, unless you do things like “hide” money and/or try to get out of child support. If you do this… you deserve it. I just noticed, I’m giving out too much free advice. Maybe I should start charging…
Convert to Islam, and have multiple wives… how cool is that!
Ocean Mist - you’ve mentioned the $100k income level a couple of times, is that some type of magical number for pre-nups or is it more of an income difference btw you and your future spouse?