First fight

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting but I just wanted to let eveyone know an exciting event happened to me last night! I had my first fight with my significant other about me not spending enouh time with her as a result of my studying…that must mean that I am studying just enough :slight_smile: I don’t understand it though, I sent her a postcard just like the CFA materials told me to do and she still gets upset… Oh well, I am sure this subject will come up again in the next few years. Good luck to everyone studying for the exam! Best, TheChad

I wouldn’t get so excited about this. It’s only going to get worse and you will begin to resent her for not understanding. When I was going through the Program, my girlfriend at the time realized that by starting arguments she could steal more time away from my books. This didn’t last long and we ended up breaking up. Good luck.

IMHO, marriage > CFA studies > girlfriend relationship. If you break up with your g/f about CFA studies, it probably means you weren’t well-suited to begin with (it’s a time-demanding profession). If you get divorced about CFA studeis, you’ve made a big mistake.

My g/f is gone after seeing my addiction to success/ambition.

haha, what a great & relivant thread I had to threaten my g/f that i will kick her out of my apt. back to her mother’s if she doesnt’ let me study – it really worked – but i was ready to kick her out to pass this…

I told myself not to talk to girls until after Dec 1. :frowning: Times like this are hard…

Well get excited because you get to do it all over again for level 2 and 3.

I think your girlfriend understands that pursuing CFA designation is the right thing to do. She just wants to feel important and not excluded from your life. I’d suggest compromising. Sometime my wife and I spend time together, I study and she reads books or magazines - being in the same place at the same time is a way of communicating and hanging out. Ultimately it’s not about what you do or don’t do, it’s about making her feel special. It’s not natural for any of us but it’s a skill worth learning.

Having an understanding, future trophy wife wannabe g/f made it easy. Let me study and i’ll make more money.

I agree with Maratikus, you need to compromise. Tell her that you will continue to sleep with her, but time outside the bedroom may ba a little harder to come by.

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If you are with a girl who can not understand the time you need to spend on CFA and your goals, she is not right for you. If anything she should be encouraging you. When I was studying for CFA L1 my gf did everything to make sure I have nothing to worry about but studying for 6 weeks (from mid Oct). She cooked, cleaned, massaged, etc…you name it she did it… end result: I passed. If you are with the right girl/women she will encourage you to get your studies and work done as it affects both of your lives positively at the end of the day, when you make it that is.

Sounds like you got an amazing girl candidate

^ Yes, she is one of a kind She is one of the main reason I am where I am today. We have been together since High school. First year of University I dropped out and started working because I did not like general studies and was not sure what I wanted to do. She encouraged me to apply to business school the next year and I found my passion. If it was not because of her I would have never applied to business school; so she has been very supportive and encouraging since the day I met her…off course I have done the same for her.

I need to find me one of those than the usual alcoholic but extremely funny and entertaining girl friend. I think I have finally outgrown that.

N.VanCandidate Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If you are with a girl who can not understand the > time you need to spend on CFA and your goals, she > is not right for you. If anything she should be > encouraging you. > When I was studying for CFA L1 my gf did > everything to make sure I have nothing to worry > about but studying for 6 weeks (from mid Oct). She > cooked, cleaned, massaged, etc…you name it she did > it… end result: I passed. If you are with the > right girl/women she will encourage you to get > your studies and work done as it affects both of > your lives positively at the end of the day, when > you make it that is. You should marry this girl immediately.

JoeyDVivre Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > N.VanCandidate Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > If you are with a girl who can not understand > the > > time you need to spend on CFA and your goals, > she > > is not right for you. If anything she should be > > encouraging you. > > When I was studying for CFA L1 my gf did > > everything to make sure I have nothing to worry > > about but studying for 6 weeks (from mid Oct). > She > > cooked, cleaned, massaged, etc…you name it she > did > > it… end result: I passed. If you are with the > > right girl/women she will encourage you to get > > your studies and work done as it affects both > of > > your lives positively at the end of the day, > when > > you make it that is. > > > You should marry this girl immediately. We are both very career oriented, so not thinking of that right now….

My girlfriend definately understands that it is going to be a rough few years while I study for these exams (and if she doesn’t, it looks like I am going to have to send her ANOTHER post card). She is generally supportive, but I think it would get to anyone when I spend all of my time and energy at work or in the books as opposed to spending time with her. Unfortunately our argument styles are VERY different so the logic that I present to her about why I NEED to spend my time preparing for these exams holds no water to her “this is how I feel” point of view. We will get through it but it is spretty humerous how these exams can really bring to light the differences in how we approach obstacles. Best, TheChad

Chad, there are two dimensions in life. Facts and feelings. Both are real and important. What tends to happen during conflicts, that we try to communicate in one dimension (facts, logic) and girls communicate in the dimension of feelings. In order to succeed in communication, it has to be done in both dimensions. Sometimes even acknowledging that what she feels is valid (which doesn’t mean you agree with her) is enough. I got married 7 months ago and I’ve been learning tons lately myself :slight_smile: I’m particularly gifted in being insensitive and slow to learn.

When it comes to sacrifice for these exams, JoeyD sums things up the best :slight_smile: http://www.analystforum.com/phorums/read.php?13,586084,586102#msg-586102