I think it is generally true that parents want the best for their kids, even if the parent might ultimately fail in providing this. For this reason, most people believe that they have good parents - if not for the result, but for the intent.
Interestingly, one day after this thread started, my dad hired my sister to work in his company. So maybe there is something to this nepotism thing.
all parents f up their kids one way or another.
Perhaps I misinterpreted your point, but I fundamentally disagree with you that most of the world would consider themselves lucky to have horrible parents. I assume that comes with the caveat that they get to live in America. Those are two completely separate and distinct issues. I agree that living in America with bad parents is better than living (pretty much) anywhere else with bad parents, but that’s not what you said.
I stated there are good and bad parents everywhere, and I think a kid from a loving family in Estonia wouldn’t be particularly thrilled to be thrown into a home in America where the father is either completely gone or a drug addict/drunk and the mom is never around because she has to work 3 jobs. Sure, the kid gets TV and the latest episodes of My Little Pony, but that doesn’t sound like a great trade off. I’d rather take the good parents over good geography. And that’s not coming from whatever issues you think I may have. That’s looking at the facts and what happens when you put kids in those situations. They don’t typically end well.
You’re not compensating for extra variables and that’s why your guess sucked balls. To make the assumption that the vast majority of kids would gladly switch places with Greenie (and I have no idea what his problems with his folks are) is presumptuous…which is fine since you did qualify it as a guess. It was just a very poorly thought out guess.
@Ohai - I agree that parents want the best for their kids. I disagree that it’s the intent that matters.
And I don’t think that your dad hiring your sister is bad, evil, or sinister. Just like I don’t think it’s necessarily bad that Vince McMahon hired Stephanie as his COO. From what I can tell, she’s really good at her job. And Triple H is supposedly also really good at his job. (He’s married to Stephanie in real life, and he’s also in charge of “creative control” and “storylines”.) But I wonder if either one of them would have landed where they are if they had been born on a farm in the Midwest. (Would Michael Jordan have been MJ if he had been born in Uganda?)
This is starting to turn into Trading Places
Yeah, pretty much. Nature vs nurture. In my experience with this debate, there’s no absolutely right answer, but a ton of absolutely wrong ones.
Got it. That clears it up. I missed the thread declaring Greenie’s parents horrible. Don’t hang in these parts often enough. Greenie seems to have his shit together. Doesn’t appear to have been left with too many emotional scars. So I didn’t think his parents would be of the category that entitled their children to be unappreciative and to consider themselves unlucky.
Just to set the record straight–I have pretty good parents. They never beat me, did drugs (that I know of), drank (that I know of), fought with each other, or any of the other bad stuff that most people complain about. They fed me, clothed me, sheltered me, taught me respect, and taught me right from wrong. And they taught me to work hard and they taught me self-reliance.
But we were just poor. And we lived way out in the sticks. They didn’t teach me things like “you have to get a top 2 MBA”, or “need high SAT’s and GPA’s”, or “sometimes a different door on the elevator opens than the one you are looking at”.
who taught u how to bbq?
^Trial and error. We never bbq’ed when I was a kid.
So what did the Corps teach you??
You, sir, are wrong. So, so very wrong.
Over 20% of parents aren’t even there for their kids. This doesn’t even include parents that are just horrible to their kids, instead of being completely absent.
Sounds like you have awesome parents. That was my guess and I was accurate. That is why I was taken back by someone asking if you despised your folks. Strange question given what you had shared. And then he followed it up with a “be honest.” Maybe I’m biased and sensitive after recently dealing with an ailing father and seeing how little time most people spend with the elderly. Go into some of these senior facilities. You’ll be the only visitor there. Sad. So, my dad was a dick at times through the years, but I felt a responsibility to make his last years a little better. Senior citizens just want to be included. Hell, I felt he was left to rot, so I moved him into a building two blocks from me. He had some medically induced behavior issues, so my mom literally couldn’t handle him. She tried. No luck. I could handle him, so at least his last days had some joy. He deserved it. He would waddle up a hill to meet me for lunch daily at a cafe. Him getting up that hill, maybe a 1/4 mile, took about as much effort as me running a 5k, but I’m convinced it bought him a better quality of life, if not a couple years. It was a pain in the ass to get him on my cruiser and some people where obviously embarrassed to have him around. I guess I could have just left him in his building, but he loved being on the water. He did the best he could being a father of four given the way he saw the World. Whether that was because of nature or nurture, I don’t care. He was my dad.
So absentee parents deserve to be despised. Yeah, got it. Drug addicts that have children deserve to be despised. Got it. Dead beat fathers deserve to be despised. Yep, that is going to help the situation and society. Could things be a little less black and white. Just maybe. Do most children of absentee parents despise them? They must, since I’m very wrong.
Ghibli, since you are clearly passionate about this subject, what is your definition of an “average” parent?
Based on your story, it seems like you believe that intent is the most important factor. However, you do not think that absenteeism makes someone a bad parent. Which is important: the result of parenting, affection, face time, or other things?
Also, what is it that parents “owe” their children? Should parents be held to some non-zero minimum effort to begin with? If anything, I cannot discount that even bad parents usually spend some resources to feed and shelter the kids, who would literally die otherwise.
I went back and re-read this whole thread…Ghibli, what exactly is your point? I’m honestly asking. This thread has jumped around a bit, but I’m having trouble figuring out what you’re contributing.
What does loving thy father have to do with either the original topic of “have the exams helped you” or the off-shoot “does having a well-off family help you break into finance”? I just don’t see where you’re going with this or what it has to do with working at GS.
Despise is to hate, to loathe. I wouldn’t think being just a run of the mill “bad” parent justifies being despised.
I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, and your parents aren’t perfect. Get on with it. I do think intent matters in family and personal relationships. Not so much in business and politics.
I don’t think my parents owed me much or even had an obligation to treat their children equally. Food and shelter until I’m an adult. Don’t physically or mentally abuse me. And at least get me to a public primary school if in a western scociety at least. Beyond that, it’s on me. The rest is bonus.
Just was goosed by Greenie being asked if he despised his parents. The idea that you might despise your parents because they were not able to guide you better, expose you to more, or give you more opportunity stinks of a snot nose punk. And if his persona is accurate, Greenie is hardly a snot nose punk, so why would someone ask him such a question…In regard to relating to GS, I agree that parents can do a lot from day one to help their child get to GS, but the idea that they may be despised if they do not is beyond me. I was on a jury for a child porn case last year. The bad parents were the ones in the videos they showed us and they deserve to be despised. Letting a child figure things out on his or her own does not constitute bad parenting.
Ghibi, who are u to judge? what do u want a charter for son of the year for watching ur dad waddle up a hill? And if a stupid little question gets u “goosed” u got more issues than someone who does despise his mom for making big mistakes in his life.
Your bootstraps must be hurting from how much you had to pull on them.