How to Get HCBs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_zXBfKqa20

The Strip Club thread made me decide to share this with the forum. The original video was taken down, this is a Japanese mirror.

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As many of you know, I joined a college gym due to the hot poon there. From my six years of higher education (four years of undergrad and two years getting my masters), I came to realize there is nothing quite like porking college broads.

On late Saturday afternoon, I strolled into the fitness complex wearing a fur coat with “DOCTOR SWOLE” embroidered on the back (My gym buddies nicknamed me Doctor Swole back in '03) over my shorts and wife beater, toothpick in my mouth. Taking off my aviators, I look over to the squat rack, and I don’t like what I see. A frat boy. I already know he’s not squatting.

“Curls” I said to myself, muscles flaring as I walk over to the rack. Frat boy is in mid set, groaning with each curl, 10 lb plates on each side. 65 lbs?!?!? You’re curling 65 lbs in the squat rack? Joe Gold would be turning in his grave.

While frat boy is getting his 4th or 5th rep done, I take off the 10 lb plate, and walk over to the other side and do the same.

Frat boy: Hey man, what the f**k was that?

Me: This is the squat rack, *NSYNC. You wanna curl, get your chicken chest on one of those swiss balls and pick up the plastic dumbbells, Sally.

Frat boy: Who the f**k do you think you are? Are you even a student here?

Me: Alright, Timberlake. You had your chance. I tried to be a nice guy and I’m going to tell you one more time. No curling in the squat rack. Now get out of here before we have a problem.

Frat boy: Man, f**k this.

Cardio bunny 1: We thought that was really brave how you stood up to that guy. He thinks he owns this gym and he always makes rude comments to us!

Me: Just doing my job ladies. I’d love to chat, but as you can see, my quads need to be punished.

Cardio bunny 2: Well, if you feel like it when you are done come over to Harrison Hall. Room 418.

Me: Look hunny, I’m a busy man. I’ll see what I can do. Get away from me.

I finish up my workout, put my fur coat back on and head over to Harrison Hall, Room 418.

CB2: Glad you could come.

Me: Yeah well, I need to shower up.

CB2: Can I come with you? Please? Meet us in the third shower from the left in 5 minutes.

Me: Us? If you say so

“OmG HoTTeST GuY eVeR on HaRRiSoN 4Th FLooR BeST aBs eVa aNd HuGe BiCePTs!!!1111”

I head down to the showers, wearing only a towel and my aviators. Girls I passed in the halls stared, but I just bicep flared by them. Opening the shower curtain, I found the three cardio bunnies already soaping themselves down.

CB3: You’re late.

Me: Well Doctor Swole is here now girls.

Hottie4: Doctor Swole, where are you going?

Me: Gotta go baby, the doctor is a busy man.

The Harrison crowd, about two dozen strong, continued to chase me to my car, screaming and crying. I felt like one of the Beatles. I climb into my BMW and peel away.

Hottie5: DOCTOR SWOLE DONT GO!!!

I decide to give the girls a thrill, and throw my gym clothes out my sunroof. They scream and come running to the pile. Two girls were having a tug of war with my beater, while I saw another on her knees, sniffing my sweaty boxer briefs.

I lit up a cigar. “Doctor Swole, you’ve done it again,” I thought to myself, a small smile crossing my face as my car sped east on I-276

^ Never Happened.

the secret is to frequent the same bar/club on a weekly basis untill all the waitresses and bartenders know you as a regular… the HCBs that see you all the time start getting comfortable and you can take them out on dates

http://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/display.aspx?sp=29695963&s=2&p=29695467

Are you an LSU grad?

Good one, Blake, or LSU guy if Blake is too young to be an “alum 2001”!

Dat nigga on YouTube be a Virgin. I want my 6 minutes back.

Blake, I thought you just spent the weekends playing Jenga with your mother.

It’s still up in the air what his mother does. In one post she’s a truck driver, in another post she’s an english teacher. Does Blake have two moms? He must support gay marriage.

There is a possibility that Blake is an internet bot that just throws out random insults and text blocks from random websites.

Blake was the inspiration for Siri…in fact they may share some DNA

Actually, The vídeo is pretty funny. I love how he just screams out “shout!” to get a woman’s attention. And he’s smiling all the time. It’s horrific if it’s not a complete joke, but it had me laughing.

he’s screaming “shawt!” as in “shawty!” but yes it is highly amusing!

When it was first featured on WorldStarHipHop, I thought it was serious. I watched his other videos and realized they are clearly a joke. In one video, he keeps saying he is going to give you an “exclutive” track from his rap album. After saying it afew times, he raps and “EXCLUTIVE” pops up on the screen. ha ha

My favorite part is always put the money inbetween your titties and the guy laying on the floor.

They say making your first million is the hardest.

It’s the same with HCB. Getting the first one is the hardest. Once you get her, you’re in the “club”. Make sure everyone sees you with the HCB: powerful men, other HCBs, friends, etc. People will start treating you with respect and will want to do things for you just to be around you. If you’re smart, you will use her as a trophy for personal gain. Don’t feel bad, if she knows her value, she’s milking your wallet. But that’s the price you have to pay to be in the “club”.

Where is Don Frankie? I only listen to his gospel.

CFAvsMBA is my Executive Vice President on Quality Control.

learn magic

Respect.