How to sweep off feet

Ok, its me, everybodys least favourite lover.

Before reading this lame post, know that I do go out and get laid. Even last night I got laid believe it or not!

So, I have been talking to this girl online, that I have not met yet, we have been talking lots and lots. She lives in another city, and I am going there in a couple of weeks. Basically I just met her because I was going to this city and thought it would be cool to try and find a chick who lives there to have some fun with.

So I like her more than I couldve thought (aware we avent really met yet), and she is really into me. I think that there has been a lot of build up, and I feal that the reality will be a let down of all the anticipation. What cna I do to sweep her off her feet?

Dude, just by posting this line, you are LAME. You’re like a high school girl telling your friends how you kissed this one boy or let him touch your hoohoo. Go away.

Recipe for “Sweep off feet”:

  1. Be well groomed.

  2. Smell nice.

  3. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.

  4. Take her someplace nice where she can feel like “she’s out with the kind of people she admires.”

  5. Write her a note (on paper or a card) saying how cool you think she is and why.

  6. Tell her she’s beautiful.

  7. Make her laugh.

  8. Tell her how meeting her was the best part of your trip.

  9. Subtly remind her that you’re leaving in a bit (so she better try you now).


But geez, guy, if you’re getting laid so much where you are, why do you only fall for women who are too far away to have a real relationship?

Make sure to get a running head start, lower your shoulder, dip your hips, and explode upwards.

My nigga.

If you met her online she is either fat or hiding something terrible such as: a kid, a wooden leg, or a meth addiction. If she were ugly then I’d actually be less worried for you. Then it would be understandable why she is online trying to meet guys. There are worse things in life than dating an ugly chick such as dating one with an oxycodon addiction.

Don’t try to sweep her off her feet. That’s not appropriate for the first date/meeting. Just present yourself well like you would in a meeting but not desperate like you would in junior high.

Once you have met her and gotten to know her better then sweep her off her feet once you are reasonably sure that she’s worth the effort.

  1. Use your miles (accrued from work travel) to take her on a long weekend somewhere nice and warm. Make it fairly spontaneous. Just say, “Let’s go to the Dominican tomorrow? You in?” If not then you haven’t lost anything.

  2. Or you could just get her pregnant by “pulling the goalie.” This is cheaper than actually properly wooing her. If you are in a 1st world country you shouldn’t follow this approach as she can hit you up for child welfare.

See my notes, only nubers 3 & 7 are mandatory. I also second whoever said she’s bat shit crazy, single mother of 12, on drugs and/or has a wooden leg.

I hate it when they have a wooden leg. I can handle the meth addiction, and maybe even the kid, but a wooden leg? No chance.

Only problem with this post is that transfer might actually be in junior high.

How do you know that “she” is not secretly a 40-year-old hairy man, and that you are being set up for kidnapping, where you will be drugged and violated? The internet is full of unscrupulous characters.

Geez, the cynicism here is so thick you could use it to seal drainpipes.

i’m not following this convo…so he slept with this girl right? what’s giong on?

No I havent slept with her. I am still going to meet her

Look I know that physically there is nothign wrong with her and she isnt a meth addict.