I don't know how you IB/ER/HF/AM/SS guys do it

Exactly. I told her 1) it was not inappropriate, since it was saying thanks for something real. The only thing inappropriate was your hope that something more might happen, but (news flash!) most men can’t read your mind. And 2) even if she did feel it was inappropriate, the solution is to tell him that he’s welcome to bring his girlfriend along if he likes.

Anyway, her reaction was to say “I’ll never invite someone I like to dinner ever again,” which, of course, is the completely wrong lesson to take from this.

I have to add, it’s easy to say but i have been in similar situations where i invite the girlfriends of the guys i like and they don’t always go so well… (somehow the gf always knows and gives me the evil eyes!)

i understand why she would not want to invite him over just the two of them knowing that he has a gf already, but the handle of the situation is not ideal. i would probably invite other people as well to make it less awkward.

It’s not inviting them to her house (she’s a visitor). And as for getting the “evil eye” from a girlfriend, it’s only going to be one dinner.

Inviting the girlfriend (in a way where the guy doesn’t feel obliged to say yes), is simply a way to finese the situation.

Trust me, it’s very uncomfortable… the gf can be so cold, and i feel like she’s shooting ice arrows at me the whole night… T_T

That’s why i don’t get too involved with someone i like until i know they are single!

Inviting the gf is not a good idea if the gf has never met the other woman beforehand.

I can see it if they’ve meet during the dating stage. Once you’re attached, it’s hard to add more friends of the opposite sex without the significant other feeling suspicious.


I wish significant others would just listen and act accordingly when one tells them to “chill out,” but I guess it just doesn’t work that way.

REALLY??? is that how you guys really think??

I have met plenty of new male friends over the years who are “attached”!

^ Haha, yes. Just cutting out with some random chick on a weekday evening isn’t as easy as you think, at least in this here country (i.e. the United States). I worry that if a girl invites me to have dinner with her after work and the purpose of our meet-up ISN’T about work, she might want to sleep with me. However, I don’t worry about it half as much as my girlfriend does.

^Upside of being fat–I know no girl wants to sleep with me, so I’m good.

Any chicks on here want to grab dinner tonight?

Yeah, I can’t imagine the wife being too fond of me saying, “hey, heading over to this new girl’s house for dinner, back later.” Hmm… Yeah. Not going to fly.