Immigrant kids

THE alleged involvement of two ethnic Chechen brothers in the deadly attack at the Boston Marathon last week should prompt Americans to reflect on whether we do an adequate job assimilating immigrants who arrive in the United States as children or teenagers.

Timothy McVeigh was born in the US, as was Ted Kacynski. So was Bill Ayers.

Maybe we should reflect on whether we do a good job assimilating US-born citizens, too.

Maybe we should have assimilation camps for all new immigrants.

There will be mandatory screenings of Hannah Montana.

Immigrant assimilation (or a lack of it) is a far bigger problem in the UK and continental Europe than in the US or Canada.

I say this as someone who has spent a number of years on the other side of the pond, as well.

I have never seen Hannah Montana. I hope that doesn’t put me at risk of being radicalized. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every episode of The Brady Bunch at least 15 times though, so maybe I’m safe.

Last time I checked, assimilation works both ways. Some of these radical muslims are the ones refusing to adapt. I still see muslim women wearing ‘burkhas’ in Queens all the time… I am sure they are all doing it willingly. Not to mention the look on their husbands’ faces when they catch you admiring the embroidery on the burkhas… Insecure mofos

I’m not sure I understand what this “assimilation” really means. I would assume that the principle of “don’t set off bombs that kill 11 year-olds and sever the legs of 8 year-olds” would be the same in any culture in the world.

You don’t need to watch Hannah Montana or the Brady Bunch to know that. And if you don’t know that, then you should be punished accordingly. (See my comment about the two thugs that shot the toddler in the face if you want to know what I mean by “punished accordingly”.)

Well, the bombing thing was just one bullet point in the article - presumably that loneliness and isolation can manifest in violent behavior. The article is mostly about academic performance of immigrant children, which can be affected by language or other difficulties with integration in US society.

I’d like to assimilate with Sophia Vergara. Assimilate with her good. Also, Mila Kunis. Together.

Unfortunately, they go to the VIP assimilation camp. You can assimilate with 1 of 3 women chosen randomly from the North Little Rock Wal-Mart.

As far as I know, the younger one was well integrated. He came over as a kid and meshed with classmates and teammates. He didn’t stand out.

Also where 1 of 3 is probably a whale. And I’m not talking about wealth.

I’m thinking the ratio leans much closer to 3 of 3. MAYBE 1 of 3 will be appropriately dressed and not wearing hot pink yoga pants.