You know what league you are in by what you can attract and KEEP.
If you can attract and keep a man that is successful, ambitious, confident, assertive, outgoing, tall, good looking, athletic, intelligent, fun, funny, good in bed, handy man, cultivated, respectful…you are close to being a 10. You get what you’re worth in the long run. Many people just can’t accept that.
I agree with you that this phenomena exists but the reality is that those women who do that are usually totally insecure/don’t know what they want or emotionally unstable which using former trader’s logic puts them in the undatable league.
I have to agree with former trader, alot of seemly successful people are just emotionally/mentally fucked up so at first appearance they may present as highly functional but the reality is they are losers.
You missed the point. The more qualities from that list your man has, the higher rated he is. If you can’t attract and keep a man with most of those qualities, then you aren’t in his league . People with traits in demand can afford to have high standards. People dump others when they believe they can do better (read: they don’t believe that person is in their league anymore).
I hear a lot of women say they deserve a great man. That’s like someone making $40k a year saying I deserve to make $100k. If no one is willing to pay you a cent over 40K a year, you are worth $40k a year.
In the long run, yes, the dating market is efficient. At some point (it can take years) the one getting shortchanged will realize they can do better. We live in a monogamous society, this pushes the market to efficiency.
Monogamy is what makes the market inefficient. Transaction costs are high in a monogamous society, thus suboptimal choices do not get corrected quickly.
In addition, most costs and benefits of entering a relationship are not transparent at all.
But it is fun to use jargon, whether it’s used correctly or not.
Dating efficiency means that two people from the same league end up together, not that 2 people are right for each other. Katy Perry and John Mayer are in the same league, whether they are right for each other or not is another story. Katy Perry dating Jared from Subway is inefficient and that will correct itself, most likely very quickly. If we lived in a polygamous society, Jared could maybe survive the cut as Katy’s 4th boyfriend.