I don’t believe in marriages but i can still have babies… 
The median women has it easier than the median guy, no doubt. The top 20% of men have it easiest because they get what they want (a lot of sex without giving any commitment in return). The top 20% of women could have it as easy but they complicate their lives by hooking up with the wrong guys. Outside of the top 20%, women have a distinct advantage over men.
How? and in what ways?
I don’t understand how women have distinct advantage over men.
If you are just talking about the occassional free drinks and entry at bars and clubs, that’s REALLY superficial, not to mention not all women go to bars regularly i don’t think average women benefit much from it, so let’s move on.
I am assuming you are referring to finding someone to date? Alright, if an average looking woman asks a man out for a date, yes the success rate is higher than an average man asking a lady out.
Now, this is only because most men are not as picky and they feel like they have nothing to lose by going out. They are less likely to get raped or robbed by a girl. But if you fast forward a few dates, men are more likely to keep their options open while more women are willing to settle down and commit to one relationship if things go well.
This is pretty much the same dynamic through the whole relationship. If both people are happy with each other, women are VERY UNLIKELY to consider other possiblities (yes there are exceptions, but that’s not the rule). But the boyfriends/ fiance/ husbands are not going to turn down other females if they show interest, just like how i said from the beginning, average women can ask men out a lot easier - even if they are dating, engaged or married!
So i don’t know how women are the winners in this game?
The average woman has it better in the dating stage because:
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they have more opportunities as it’s the men who do the approaching most of the time (the shy man is at a major disadvantage compared to the shy woman). You never see the shy man because he would never approach you, therefore you are never exposed to this subset of guys.
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The men at the top date most of the women, leaving less quantity for men that are not at the top
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Men have no problem f!cking down while women usually don’t (which explains point #2 above). As men are more into quantity than quality, more women have a chance to hook up than men.
I’ve mentioned this before. I can go with 10 male buddies to: a sporting event, charity, bar, comedy club, library, wedding, etc. The same 2 guys will pick up women. A 3rd guy might be lucky depending if the stars align. The 7 other guys usually get nothing, while the bottom 4 are dateless for years (and even virgins).
Same ratio goes for women, no?
I am thinking about my group of friends, a lot of them are married or in a long term relationships, but if i count them out, just looking at all my single female friends…
2 of them probably get all the attention, 5 of them want to date and looking for boyfriends or husbands but probably scare men away by being too aggressive or just not pretty enough or approaching the wrong guys, then there are always 2-3 who aren’t actively looking at all because they are hurt by previous relationships, busy with work or school, lesbian, or secretly have a married lover…
There’s a difference between not actively looking and actively looking but can’t get any. The former is a choice, the latter is a lifestyle by default.
Yes, but out of 10, there are probably only 2 are probably not “actively” looking for women. i am sure similar goes for men, well maybe 1/10 isn’t looking…
But those 2 would probably still get head over heels if prince charming comes along.
theres alot of people who chose to not actively look simply because they lack to confidence to put themselves out there and use excuses such as their involvement with work/school. I would lump those in a worse category then the ones who put themselves out there and don’t succeed.
How frequent is the ‘secret married lover’ thing? Is this commonplace in Japan? While I was at business school I had like four female friends Japan, who were married but reportedly all had flings on the side. I don’t know if it’s truth or rumor, but I can confirm at least one of them was true because one of them had approached me as a potential ‘target’.
Yes, that’s probably the case most of the time.
But i do think a lot more women are finding living a single life not such a bad idea. if they don’t find anyone they may as well be single than be in bad relationships with bad guys.
It is VERY common! not common like half of female population has that experience, but like i said, 10-20% has definitely done it!
I think it’s common everywhere… i have a lot of friends in other cities who have that kind of experience or at least witness it. It is common for women and their married managers/ bosses because they spend so much time together.
[quote=“NANA_Hachiko”]
[quote=“numi”]
Are they being forced into it? Threatened to lose their jobs?
I think we need to make a distinction of age when it comes to a comparative advantage. Women have it better <27, >28 they tend to realize (perhaps it is their biological clock, loud mother / grand mother, friends) that it’s time to tie the knot. From this sudden change, let us call it a dire need, some women are viewed as desperate and this puts the advantage in the male’s side.
I, on the other hand, have had the advantage since puberty (11th grade, late bloomer yo)
Joan Severance was, is, the best.
Strong logic.
[quote=“krnyc2008”]
[quote=“NANA_Hachiko”]
Not necessarily.
Many women use it to advance their careers, others just find the comfort of dating someone they work with because they know how they spend their day most of the time, and some of them just don’t mind being the other women because they either truly fall for the guys or they feel they have the upper hand.
I don’t think it’s that uncommon elsewhere though.
Most of these people (I include men in there) should look at themselves in the mirror and make an objective self assessment. If these people can only find bad relationships with bad people, it’s because they have many shortcomings. No one likes to admit it and their friends would certainly never tell it like it is.
People who date in their league don’t end up single for years. If you are, it’s because you are trying to date outside your league. You might catch a lucky break, but as the dating market is efficient in the long run, that break won’t last forever. At some point the other mate will realize they can do better.
Everyone thinks they are entitled to a great person. If there are only 10% of great people out there, then you have to be in the top 10% of your gender. It doesn’t matter what you are on an absolute level, you should measure yourself on a relative level. You are competing everyday with others from your gender.
I don’t know if i agree with you, and most of it is because i am not sure what “league” you are referring to.
We are excluding celebrities and models, ultra rich families or self-made billionaires for this discussion first, and just look at regular people we come across everyday.
How do we know which “league” we are in?
I don’t think people have bad relationships beause they date people who are a lot more goodlooking or a lot richer than they are. MANY MANY MANY attractive girls fall for loser guys with no money (and not particularly attractive) who, according to your definition, would be below their leagues, with really bad results.
And more people just date their same leagues, like friend of friend’s, or coworkers, or old classmates, and still gotten nowhere.
asians don’t have leagues because they all look alike, albeit, hot.
‘league’ is only in your head.
There are celebrities and then there are the rest of us and there are a lof of normal folk who are married to the saner celebrities.