Layoff or firing etiquette?

Is there a certain etiquette in firing people? I’ve heard some stories where some people were told to go to a room and speak to HR. They were not allowed to pack their things or take their coat. Someone else did this for them. After speaking to HR, they demanded their id card and then their things were waiting for them in the lobby.

If you are very curious…you can ask some of the BS or UBS guys!

We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

really? i heard its best to do it monday so they do not have the weekend to get mad about it. if done on monday, they can start finding work and getting on with their lives right away. … i have never fired anyone before though

I think if you are getting fired etiquette is the least of your worries. Although if you think your job is in peril, then a taser will usually get you a politer firing and also the right to empty your own desk.

That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…

Worst etiquette story (not wall st. but corporate world) shared by a friend…during ax day, they announced people’s names over the loudspeaker throughout the day because people were deliberately not answering their phones. “Name XX please report to the HR office.”

Horst: We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order. Simpson, Homer. That is all.

mcthorp Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off > either, because I told, I told Bill that if they > move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m > quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don > too, because they’ve moved my desk four times > already this year, and I used to be over by the > window, and I could see the squirrels, and they > were married, but then, they switched from the > Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my > Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as > much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline > stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my > stapler then I’ll set the building on fire… lol

It is tough to beat Donald Trump with his you’re fired line. It is even better that he tried to make an intellectual property claim to that line.

Just place an envelope named “critical company information, keep away from legal” in your desk, fill it with highly dispursable white powder. Then chuckle a bit as they show you the door. Having been in a building that tested positive for anthrax in 2001, I can tell you that stuff gets *everywhere* and cleaning it up costs a bundle too, so some guys will be very stressed for at least a bit.

storko Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Horst: We regret to announce the following > lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order. > Simpson, Homer. That is all. Bwahahaaaahahhaah. One of the funniest lines ever from the Simpsons. You have to see it on TV to appreciate it, but you rock for posting this.

another good simpsons firing: “Skinner!!! You’re fired!” “I’m sorry…did you just call me a liar?” “No, I said you were fired.” “Oh…that’s much worse.” And best of all: “…and you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles.”