I gotta tell a bunch of people that I’m “just not that into them.” Some are MBA programs that I’m not gonna go to. Others are, well you’ll see.
How do I do this? Sure, I could just write a email saying, “I’ve decided not to attend” or I’ve decided to “go with something else” or some jibberish like that. But that’s boring.
Points for creativity if there is anyone that you are planning to tell off in a creative way go ahead!
Some of my ideas
Fex Ex the admissions people a box with a bloody coat hanger taped to my admissions letter inside
Send the alumni interviewer who asked me “which type of pasta would I be” a hand crafted sign spelling out, with macaroni, the better MBA program I chose over his alma mater.
Send the people who make the GMAT exam a rope to hang themselves with.
This August, upon receiving an email saying that I failed Level 3, I will respond:
Why stop here? You have just hooked them onto the bait. Now its time to play around with them. Return the acceptance letter without signing anything. See how they respond.
Also send a vague email saying thank you for the offer. My team of analysts will review the details and get back to you shortly. Please remain patient.
Okay, I’ve got it. Send a rejection letter back to the dean. You can probably find a copy of the school’s (or some other school’s) rejection letter online. Just alter the verbage so it makes sense and send it back so you politely return the favor. If you need help with this, I’ve probably got a few rejection letters laying around I could pass on to you ;/
Sleep with their admissions officer’s ex and tell them about it in the refusal email. Ask if they want to go kayaking with me and my new MBA this weekend.
Did somebody really ask you this? If so, I would respond appropriately.
Once, a recruiter asked me a stupid question. “Imagine that you were placed in a blender, and you knew that somebody was about to turn it on. What would you do?”
I responded, “I would deploy my adamantium claws before they turned it on, and chop the blades into tiny bits.”
The interviewer got indignant, and told me that it was a serious question and deserved a serious answer. I said that my answer was just as serious as their question.
A few days later, I got the e-mail. “Dear Greenman, Thank you for your interest in our company. We have filled the position with another candidate. Good luck to you in your job search.”