I have passed level 1 in December and the joy was all mine and my partner’s. In fact, we have discussed me doing level 2. However, as things move along, there is some tension about my exam. In fact, my partner is now against me doing the exam: do not get me wrong, it is not the ultimatum, but there is a feeling of guilt in the air. I do not regret my choices, but it is tough to hear that your partner does not share your choices. The funniest thing about it is that my partner received the professional qualification a a couple of years ago, is working weekends at times. So, it is not like my time is wanted for mutual entertainment. It is the fact of me studying and working towards the higher level of qualification that causes the major tension. If anyone of you have been in my shoes, it would be nice to hear about your experiences.
My wife HATES my cfa studies. She says I’ve changed. I’am more stressed and spend less time with her and our daughter. She’s probably right… I understand if your partner needs more time with you or if she thinks you have changed and she wants the old you back. You should have a talk and make an agreement that fits both of you.
if it’s a serious relationship that you want to keep, it’s probably going to take a lot of reassurance on your part. A good idea might be to figure out what’s making your partner feel insecure/angry/whatever with the whole situation and address it DIRECTLY. Guilttripping only happens when there’s lack of proper communication. Perhaps having a structured study routine might help? Set aside a certain # of hours every week to study, and make sure that s/he knows not to bother you. The trick is to also set aside time every week to spend with him/her, no school work or difficult conversations, just be completely devoted to him/her when you’re having together time. All of the above assumes that this relationship is important to you and you want to put the effort to make things work. If the issue however is not so much together time, but rather you “working towards a higher level of qualification”, as you said, then are you sure that this is the person you want to be with? good luck.
your partner sounds controlling, could be a power struggle?
Wow you just passed Level One and your partner wants you to quit. Not really supportive especially given he/she already has been through the CFA.
jalmy8 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > your partner sounds controlling, could be a power > struggle? plus some insecurities that are coming out. It may have seemed all sunshine and roses when you were doing Level 1, but the fact that you passed right away and are heading on to L2 may seem threatening if the partner has used his/her passing of the CFA exams as a measure of self worth in comparison to others. lola’s right, you two need to chat, and in particular you need to discover why your success is intimidating your partner. Good luck
Thanks guys))). My partner’s expertise lies in a field different than finance, so sorry if I have been misleading. However, the qualification in question is not a piece of cake either. I will not bother you with the details, we will try to figure things out and then see. anyway, I am feeling better now that I know I am not alone. I will try to discuss your ideas with my partner too. Thanks.
My GF took the Bar exam the year before I took LI. I would say the biggest reason that going through the CFA is not currently causing any strain on our relationship is the expectations we both have. We talked about how much time this would involve, when I am available and what we can do together after this is all over. For example, when I am studying, I go to the library and when I come home, we get to hang out together. Also, one day a week and one weekend a month we hang out and my studying is limited on those days (for about another month or so). Also, we have a trip planned during June that we can go on after the test is over. Balancing this is all about communication and expectations. If this is really about you becoming more successful than them, then that is another issue altogether and will be difficult to overcome, although counseling could help.
I’ve chosen to be single, period. Anyone out there in my shoes?
My bf has been most supportive of me…and he said that I can “cast” him aside for a while if I am busy.
rrmm Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’ve chosen to be single, period. Anyone out there > in my shoes? me!!
Maybe he worries that you wont be needing him as the breadwinner of the family once you receive your CFA charter, and now he worries that you’ll dump him for someone smarter and more well-educated?
Is this a same sex relationship?
Yeah, I’ve been getting alot of what you’re saying, stressed out, nonsocial, short tempered, argumentative, etc. I just talk about the exam when I do talk. My girlfriend (4.5 years) and I got in an argument on tuesday and i turned off my cell phone, haven’t turned it back on since. We live 4 hours apart now. I’m completely at ease with putting all other distractions in my life on hold until June at this point.
Why wouldn’t your partner want you to advance? I would think that anyone who’s your friend/partner/family would want you to achieve more. Especially if it’s a partner that might become (or is) a lifelong partner, then you achieving more is beneficial for both you (emotionally and financially).
rrmm Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’ve chosen to be single, period. Anyone out there > in my shoes? I don’t know if I chose to be a single during all this or just don’t get enough time to look at girls. Sad though. Anish
i like lola’s suggestions. first, figure out your priorities and then make things work accordingly.
Screw the CFA if I think it costs me my social life. I just met a great girl some two months ago and there is no way I let that go because of a piece of paper with three initials on it. I do hope I can combine the two, though… but my priority is and will always be my private life.
in my books the CFA definitely trumps a casual/semi-casual encounter, but not really a serious relationship. It’s all about what’s more important to you.