My Personal (and 100% TRUE) "CFA Sink Story" with pictures

The following is 100% true, see attached pictures

In 2015 I was walking out of my apartment to head to the PHL testing center for my first CFA exam, a little more than an hour from my neighborhood. My Italian neighbor’s dad is running up to my door as I am about to walk out with my bag and notes etc., and he is looking distraught…

Here is how our conversation went:

Out of breath in his broken English he says, “where you going?”

Me: Going to Philly to take an exam – what’s wrong?

Him: No you’re not! You got no wheels!

Me: What are you talking about?

Him: They stole your wheels!

My heart sank. Confused and pissed off…

At this point I drop my bags, run outside, see his son (my only friend in this town) with another guy from our building standing there looking at my car, which is missing 2 wheels and slumped over to one side, with a jack smashed up into the door and the car is leaning on a bare brake rotor.

They ask where I’m going, “to Philly – taking an exam – been studying for 6 months – you have to be kidding me…when I find out who did this I’m going to kill him!”. Luckily I have awesome friends and my neighbor insists I borrow his S550 overnight to drive to the exam. I say OK, take off and head to the hotel, tried not to think about it and reviewed my notes. They took care of getting my car onto a flatbed and over to a body shop after I left. I ended up crushing the exam, and got back the next day to hear the rest of the story.

Apparently there had been a few cars with their wheels stolen in our neighborhood, all Lincolns. I had the stock 20" Lincoln wheels that come with the MKS and MKX, nothing flashy. Another lady all four of her wheels loosened, lug nuts fully off and the guy ran off in the middle of the job for some reason, got spooked. Next day she gets in her car and starts to drive off, and her wheels fall off as she pulls away, no joke.

The police in our town got prints off of the jack that was stuck underneath my car, ran them in the Fed or State database and after about a month results came back to a 19 year old kid in my town who was already in the system for DUI’s etc. So I was able to sue him and get restitution, he paid my deductible and bought me new tires in return for my agreeing that he be allowed to go to a diversion program instead of serving time for the theft.

I think this is almost up there with the sink story

Same thing happened to my Lincoln. Except when I replaced my wheels, was pissed off to learn that the car was even more f**ked up than previously thought. Now my Lincoln couldn’t turn left, it just went…



The reason I purchased the car was because I always admired McConaughey’s booger rolling technique

That’s a very good story. You are lucky to have found another way to get to the testing center.

McConaughey wasn’t so fortunate on his way to the testing center. But I respect that.


Did you watch the bachelor last night? Hadn’t seen it in years. Turned on the tv last night and some model dude was talking about the booger roll pose. Learn something every day.

Hah no bro but you just told us alot about yourself JK I’m partial to Blue Steel vs the Booger Roll

He’s faring a bit better these days, Hashtag

Agreed – and his natural progression into mid-adulthood is what makes him so cool.

Speaking of which, did you know that Matthew’s “cool factor” runs in the McConaughey family? Crazy, I know, but there’s proof!