New Stock Market Terms

Found this on Big Picture, thought it might get a chuckle out of some of you… Or perhaps not. Either way, here they are: CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER – What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use.

EBIT – Earning before irregularities and tampering. NAV – Normalized Andersen Valuation IFRS – International Fantasy Reporting Standards

how about: fundamental analysis technical analysis EMH