What’s life without laughing and fun? Do you ever wonder if great partners are just born, or are they made through work and effort? And how the heck does one write a good online profile? Let me tell you what I like to imagine: When we’re together, we’ll be excited about all the activities we’re into. Maybe you’ll come to the gym with me, and play sports, or maybe we can just go for a drive to an exciting new place, and have fun making all sorts of mischief together. 
But don’t be scared, I know how to chill and relax too. We’ll turn on the music, and maybe you’ll even convince me to brush up my piano skills for you. A night of Jazz, or a Classical concert would be lovely, or maybe we’ll turn up the Rock and blow off some steam. Someone once said “music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul;” don’t you agree? All that activity may make us hungry, and I do love to eat. I’ve been known to cook up a storm, and have been told I do it well; and it’s also fun to eat and share. A new restaurant in town? Let’s go try it! And dessert? Life is just not complete without dessert, don’t you agree? I know you’re fun, intelligent, sexy, and passionate, and I know you have a healthy sense of humor. If I haven’t seen you first, don’t hesitate to send a note or a flirt… because if things really click, then… wow! Let’s not wait a lifetime for wow! Life is to be seized. Our wow could almost be now!" Hey, that was fun!
Rule number 1: don’t put the photo of your penis and don’t hint on sex after dinner in your profile. It’s not sexy
And just a friendly advice. Don’t say in your profile “I love to eat” unless you are obese and want a girl to know that to avoid surprises. “I appreciate fine cuisine and french wine” and don’t mention dessert, it sounds sleezy
Bchadwick- Love it. The problem though is that it’s too good! Seems professionally written. Anyway- can I use it??? Seriously.
Yeah, you can use it, but I want to hear/see the results (not too graphic, though). The key issue is that as she reads the note, she is already imagining what it is like to be with you, because you have to imagine in order to process that information. So you give a skeleton of a scenario and her mind fills in the details. What’s nice is that she will tend to fill in the details with whatever she likes. You don’t even need to know what she likes… she will fill it in for you. And then when she’s done reading, if she likes what she’s imagined, you’re doing well for yourself. In the beginning of a relationship we naturally fill in the blanks with what we hope our partner will be. There will be a little bit of time for you to get to know each other, and by the time she realizes that you aren’t quite the image she initially imagined, hopefully you have impressed her with the real you instead and it can go on. Valores is right that I probably went overboard on the dessert line, which is also a bit too tired. However, dessert in general is important to me: I don’t always get nookie on my dinner dates, but I do always get dessert. But dessert is perhaps too cliche a double-entendre. Maybe change it to: "And dessert? Life is just not complete without dessert (that’s the real dessert, silly!), don’t you agree? "
Piano = Jamie foxx flute = Jamie kennedy just sayin’
Sorry, don’t call her silly already in your profile. Don’t hint on sex unless it’s a sex match website. If you do it even jokingly the impression is that it’s the only thing you are looking for. Still: the shorter the better
I’ll keep everyone posted on how things go. I’ve updated my profile for the 18th time this morning I try not to be a black and white thinker, but I think this will be a huge hit (great new profile) or an utter failure (guy so desperate he must have paid someone to write this, which might be partially true :-)) Anyway, THANKS ALL (especially Bchadwick) for the suggestions. Going to the gym now, then listen to classical music, then make a great meal!! haha.
I’ll offer the flip side to the argument… given that I have the XX chromosome. I’ve recently moved countries & I’m having a go at the internet dating thing to help meet people and build a network of friends in my new city. At home I have no problems getting dates; here I know a few girls from home, my colleagues, and that’s about it. It definitely seems that girls get a LOT of hits. I’ve been getting a bunch of messages every day plus heaps and heaps of “winks”. The winks suck. I don’t quite have enough time to respond to all the messages so I haven’t responded to any winks. I do read profiles in detail and I have responded to guys who aren’t my usual age/physical/background preferences because their profiles indicate they’re funny/smart/have their lives sorted. I’m not very keen on cocky guys (this could be cultural differences) but anything that sounds needy/apologetic is a huge turnoff. Also, anyone that says “I’ve been told that I’m a great cook/artist/poetry reciter”) just rubs me up the wrong way - it sounds better if you say “I love to cook for my friends and I spend hours in the kitchen perfecting the ultimate xyz”. Take ownership of your good attributes. Also if you send a girl a message, don’t make it too brief (“Hi. How are you? Cheers, Some Dude”) and also don’t send your life story with all your hopes & dreams. Try and be a bit witty, keep it to four or five lines, ask one or two questions. Also - if you’re into someone, meet them for a casual drink asap. There’s no point swapping war and peace length emails to find out that in person they can barely string a sentence together. Or that they’re a 69-yo bloke with halitosis posing as a 25-yo trader.
ek82 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I do read profiles in detail and I have responded > to guys who aren’t my usual > age/physical/background preferences because their > profiles indicate they’re funny/smart/have their > lives sorted. I’m not very keen on cocky guys > (this could be cultural differences) but anything > that sounds needy/apologetic is a huge turnoff. > Also, anyone that says “I’ve been told that I’m a > great cook/artist/poetry reciter”) just rubs me up > the wrong way - it sounds better if you say “I > love to cook for my friends and I spend hours in > the kitchen perfecting the ultimate xyz”. Take > ownership of your good attributes. bromion FTW! Almost down to the word. I’ve noticed that women from certain cultures prefer or don’t prefer cocky men, seemingly based on how clearly defined the gender roles are in that culture. Women from Asia and Latin America aren’t as in to cockiness because women from those cultures are naturally more feminine. American women are more aggressive, masculine, and entitled (i.e., they are more like men in their behavior relative to some foreign women), and tend to find cockiness nearly irresistible in my experience. Basically, if she is more masculine in the way she acts than normal, you have to be that much more of a man (including cockiness / confidence) to win her over. ek82, which country are you from? I’m guessing one of the countries from the UK given the turns of phrase you used and your command of the English language.
bromion Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ek82 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > I do read profiles in detail and I have > responded > > to guys who aren’t my usual > > age/physical/background preferences because > their > > profiles indicate they’re funny/smart/have > their > > lives sorted. I’m not very keen on cocky guys > > (this could be cultural differences) but > anything > > that sounds needy/apologetic is a huge turnoff. > > > Also, anyone that says “I’ve been told that I’m > a > > great cook/artist/poetry reciter”) just rubs me > up > > the wrong way - it sounds better if you say “I > > love to cook for my friends and I spend hours > in > > the kitchen perfecting the ultimate xyz”. Take > > ownership of your good attributes. > > bromion FTW! Almost down to the word. > > I’ve noticed that women from certain cultures > prefer or don’t prefer cocky men, seemingly based > on how clearly defined the gender roles are in > that culture. Women from Asia and Latin America > aren’t as in to cockiness because women from those > cultures are naturally more feminine. American > women are more aggressive, masculine, and entitled > (i.e., they are more like men in their behavior > relative to some foreign women), and tend to find > cockiness nearly irresistible in my experience. > Basically, if she is more masculine in the way she > acts than normal, you have to be that much more of > a man (including cockiness / confidence) to win > her over. > > ek82, which country are you from? I’m guessing one > of the countries from the UK given the turns of > phrase you used and your command of the English > language. Its usually only US born women (whatever ethinicity), especially the spoilt, sorority types whom I avoid. In my experience, even Western European ( from Spain, Germany, Netherlands etc.) and East European girls prefer a calm, considerate gentleman who is confident but refrains from being cocky and acting like an “arrogant american”. That behaviour is a big turn off for them.
I’ll catch up on this thread in a bit, I’m sure there’s some good advice. Definitely take out “wondering how to stop the bathroom faucet from leaking.” You probably just need a new 10-cent washer.
I don’t really understand why you perceive yourself as cocky and arrogant. Basically Americans are perceived as unsophisticated (I.e. Always talking about money), down-to-earth literally (very badly dressed) and appreciating simple pleasures (eating burgers). No wonder you work too much ( 1-2 weeks holidays is a joke, I have 1 and half months)
I’m Aussie actually. Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting Americans when I travel, mostly because the Australian - American personalities are very similar in terms of how friendly & open we generally are. But, we generally don’t discuss ambition/money and I’m actually frankly amazed by anyone who does disclose their salary on a website. Also… one last thing. Don’t mention how important working out is to you. Everyone I know goes to the gym. It’s a normal part of life, it’s no more interesting than learning that you brush your teeth every morning, & it doesn’t impress girls. Although, if you play some cool or random sport - then point it out.
ek82 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Also… one last thing. Don’t mention how > important working out is to you. Everyone I know > goes to the gym. It’s a normal part of life, it’s > no more interesting than learning that you brush > your teeth every morning, & it doesn’t impress > girls. Although, if you play some cool or random > sport - then point it out. I just say I am an amateur kickboxer/ muay thai fighter and that seems to help a lot.
ek82 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’m Aussie actually. > > Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting Americans when > I travel, mostly because the Australian - American > personalities are very similar in terms of how > friendly & open we generally are. > > But, we generally don’t discuss ambition/money and > I’m actually frankly amazed by anyone who does > disclose their salary on a website. > > Also… one last thing. Don’t mention how > important working out is to you. Everyone I know > goes to the gym. It’s a normal part of life, it’s > no more interesting than learning that you brush > your teeth every morning, & it doesn’t impress > girls. Although, if you play some cool or random > sport - then point it out. One thing is to run 15 min treadmil and do some cardio weights. Another thing is to be in a rigorous workout regiment.
comp_sci_kid Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ek82 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Also… one last thing. Don’t mention how > > important working out is to you. Everyone I > know > > goes to the gym. It’s a normal part of life, > it’s > > no more interesting than learning that you > brush > > your teeth every morning, & it doesn’t impress > > girls. Although, if you play some cool or > random > > sport - then point it out. > > One thing is to run 15 min treadmil and do some > cardio weights. > > Another thing is to be in a rigorous workout > regiment. i agree that a pic of you running on a treadmill with cadio weights should be your profile pic. maybe wear a team-issued sweat-band kit from your favorite local club to show that you can be in a committed relationship.
ek82 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’m Aussie actually. > > Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting Americans when > I travel, mostly because the Australian - American > personalities are very similar in terms of how > friendly & open we generally are. > > But, we generally don’t discuss ambition/money and > I’m actually frankly amazed by anyone who does > disclose their salary on a website. > > Also… one last thing. Don’t mention how > important working out is to you. Everyone I know > goes to the gym. It’s a normal part of life, it’s > no more interesting than learning that you brush > your teeth every morning, & it doesn’t impress > girls. Although, if you play some cool or random > sport - then point it out. Ek- Interesting post. Yes, I’ve noticed Americans and Aussies have similar levels of open/friendliness in many respects, but they are vastly different in terms of money discussions. As far as the “don’t mention that working out is important to you”, I’d beg to differ. Remember that your country is one of the most athletic contries in the world. The U.S., meanwhile, has found new and exciting ways to combine desserts with both cheese and chocolate. We’re a nation of fatties. A guy who’s got a bit of color and is in good shape in Australia probably isn’t anything special. A guy who’s in good shape and well-groomed in America stands out a bit - even in the 20-35 year old city demographic where not as many folks are overweight. -SSF
My rule was always never go on “dates”, never pay for anything, never offer to do anything for a woman ever, always expect her to do everything for you. If you are dealing with a natural human female then these rules do not apply, however you are in the USA, wise up.
purealpha Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > My rule was always never go on “dates”, never pay > for anything, never offer to do anything for a > woman ever, always expect her to do everything for > you. If you are dealing with a natural human > female then these rules do not apply, however you > are in the USA, wise up. So true…