What was the shortest amount of time any of you were employeed at a firm/company? This does NOT count part time jobs, summer gigs, or instances of being let go or fired. Mainly geared towards finance/investment related jobs. Thanks,
2 weeks: I was fresh out of uni, needed money desperately and took a crappy accounting assistant job. I was waiting on an answer from a never ending multiple-interview-psychology-test-personality-test process. When I finally got the gig I wanted I bounced that same day.
2 minutes and 45 seconds if you count the 2 minutes it took me to take my clothes off and put them back on. Found out the “hard” way that I wasn’t cut out to be a gigolo.
How’d you like to make $14 the hard way?
I left after 1 month. A job I had applied for months earlier finally called back after I had worked at the other place a month. I hated the job from almost the 1st day and probably wouldn’t have lasted more than 2-3 months anyway so I had/have no reservations about leaving so soon.
2 weeks I had been out of school for a year and at a job I hated. I was doing a bunch of interviews and got an offer in Chicago. I tried putting them off for as long as I could until I heard back from my #1 choice, but they finally told me I either had to take the job or it was gone. I moved out to Chicago and was there 9 business days before I heard back from my current employer. I figured I’d be wasting everyone’s time if I stayed any longer, so I went into my boss’ office and resigned. Yeah, it was a bad thing to do, but I had to look out for me. The Chicago job was doing a lot of ABS work, so I don’t even know if I’d still have it.
6 mos. people say “stay a year”, but that would of resulted in me being charged with assault. not sexual assault, but the assault charge you get when you smash a computer monitor over someones head. i think thats assault and battery
battery is for a laptop… 
my new colleague turned up for work on monday, and disappeared on tuesday
i’ve seen two people get fired in their second weeks at my old hedge fund. one was a back office guy who was the dumbest person i think i’ve ever met. no exaggeration, he didnt know multiplication without a calculator. it was kinda sad. but the other was the head trader who turned out to be crazy. he disappeared for hours at a time, and had all these inane plans for the traders that they laughed at. i later found out that he had gotten formally disciplined on the morning of his first day for making some sexual comments to the HR girl as she was explaining his benefits. also later found out he was boozing in the bathroom stall. the pathetic thing was that management had interviewed dozens of extremely qualified candidates and this was the guy they picked.
I kid you not, a large percentage of the traders I used to work with could easily fit this profile. I probably spent half my days listening to them tell sexist, racist jokes, make comments about what they would do to the girls on the trading floor (to their faces), and tell stories about how they cheat on their wives and girlfriends all the time. I’m not trying to stereotype but most of the offenders seemed to be fat, middle-aged (30+) Italian and Irish guys with minimal educational backgrounds who sound exactly like the trader above.
farley013 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’m not trying to stereotype but most of the > offenders seemed to be fat, middle-aged (30+) > Italian and Irish guys with minimal educational > backgrounds who sound exactly like the trader > above. These are not just traders. the exact description fits the bill of guys i know in construction, cooking, real estate, mortgages, … the list goes on. You cant pinpint a career, but rather “fat, middle-aged (30+)Italian and Irish guys with minimal educational backgrounds” in general
Not a job but I did quit my Masters degree 3 weeks in last year
We hired a guy who started on a monday & was let go late in the day on tuesday.
Sounds like we have some contestants for a revival of “Fire Me…Please” analyst-style … http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/2005/05/06/fire-me-please-challenges-contestants-to-get-fired/ This is pretty funny … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67YVBXCt91M&feature=related
mh7 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We hired a guy who started on a monday & was let > go late in the day on tuesday. story?
5 months… I sent my boss an email on a Sunday night and said I’m not coming in tomorrow, this job is not for me. I still hate that job, firm, culture, co-workers to this day.
wegowayback Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > mh7 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > We hired a guy who started on a monday & was > let > > go late in the day on tuesday. > > > story? No one knows for sure…he had interviews with a vp, 2 pms & 2 mds - I think they don’t want to look bad so its been kept very quiet. I about fell out of my chair when he showed up on day one wearing a white tshirt with a sleeveless sweatery thing on top of it though…good times.
mh7 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No one knows for sure…he had interviews with a > vp, 2 pms & 2 mds - I think they don’t want to > look bad so its been kept very quiet. I about > fell out of my chair when he showed up on day one > wearing a white tshirt with a sleeveless sweatery > thing on top of it though…good times. sweet…pretty eager to show off the guns i guess. we had the same issue at my old firm where the managers who hired the idiots i mentioned in my previous post, looked so stupid that they did everything possible to sweep it under the rug and act like they never hired them. it was pretty funny. this poor guy in operations…he had about 4 years of experience and he was unable to calculate the unrealized p/l for a given equity position. they ended up creating a rather patronizing (but deserved) quiz for him with questions like: “we own 100 shares of IBM with a cost of $85. the price is currently $110. what is the unrealized gain?” he couldnt answer, even using a calculator. can you imagine how the ops manager looked in this situation?
I had a friend who worked for a day and a half at a hedge fund before quitting. She said they were treating her like a secretary. Not sure what she expected from an “executive assistant” title.