^Because the financial part always triumphs over the emotional and physical part. Nothing is more important in a marriage than protection of the “financial partner”. Nothing. NOTHING!!!
I got divorced after 6 years of marriage. We were both committed to marriage and never took the commitment lightly. We gave it our best shot but amicably decided to part ways. For us this was the optimal solution versus staying together in an unhappy marriage. I agree that perhaps couples dissolve their marriages too quickly these days, but for us it was the best thing to do and we are both much happier as a result. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and people change. I don’t see anything wrong with prenups.
Of course there is.
But it appears that too many people set the bar on that point far, far too low.
It does seem that unless you are trying to protect kids from a previous marriage, asking your spouse (particularly if a wife) to sign a prenup is basically poisoning the well from day one. If it’s a first marriage, if you ask for a prenup, I suspect you will most likely need it, and your spouse is likely to feel you aren’t truly committed to the marriage and will probably start resenting you for it as soon as the honeymoon is over. One way to diminish that feeling is to put an expiration date on the pre-nup, so that if you start fighting in two or three years, you have some division of goods, but if you start fighting in 20, you have a lot more you’re going to have to share.
Protecting kids is a reasonable thing if there are any assets to protect or secure. That used to be a theoretical thing in my mind, but my step-mother took everything when my father died, with the understanding that it would be divided evenly between me and my stepbrothers when she went, but she has since invented all sorts of stories in her mind about me (despite the fact that I’m not the one that’s done prison time, nor the one who is constantly calling up and asking for money) and I’ll be surprised if I see a cent at all, and whatever I do get, if anything, will certainly be less than what my stepbrothers have already gotten while she’s still alive.
I’m not sure a prenup would have helped me, since both were fairly battered financially when they got married, but I can definitely see the protect-your-children argument.
I recall that BS or someone here stood to inherit a trust that would exclude him if he didn’t marry with a sufficiently protective prenup, so I guess that’s an unusual situation that has its own dynamic, because it meant that a prenup was necessary if both parties wanted to be able to enjoy that.
I would probably align myself with your point of view when examining most divorce cases. However, let’s stop ourselves from using personal beliefs to define a bar for commitment that is “too low”. Maybe we could count the dollar cost of divorce, including relocation, legal fees, or disruption of education for children. Other than that, it seems like a function of personal values.
my cuz told me few motnhs back her and her husband are getting a divorce. they been together 6 years and have 2 kids. she told me that she just doesnt feel like they are compatible anymore, she feels like he is ‘weighing’ her down. she has different interests now.
get a pre nup kids
Holy fucking Christ! what a great thread.
We finally found out why Itera is so damaged. He fell hook line and sinker for ‘the one’ and he ended up having to ask her for lunch money. Outstanding.
And someone called out S2000 for his incredible self righteousness. I can barely believe I agree with BS and he even managed to make a rationale point without throwing a hissy fit due to all the sand he has lodged in his vagina…
did you read my post? I said that’s what she wanted.
I’d have to be a complete moron to agree to those demands.
Why thank you.
your situation was more of a will issue, no? are pre-nups effective for distributing assets after death?
Pre-nups are pretty much worthless unless one party is bringing in substantially more assets than the other. If you get married in the early stages of your career with no serious inheritance and get divorced a few years later your assets are going to get divided however the court sees fit.
also, one question for the Americans here. are inheritances treated as individual assets or joint assets? here in Canada, a pre-nup is unnecessary to protect inheritance as they are considered individual assets…
^Depends on the state, but I believe almost all states treat inheritances as individual assets.
My specific issue was a will issue (the will got changed a few months before he died).
But if you have assets and children from a previous marriage, the prenup would be there to ensure that in the event of a divorce, your ability to provide for previous children is not materially changed.
I wonder if prenup agreements about dispoitions of assets can trump later wills of surviving spouses. There are almost certainly cases that test this, but I don’t know which way they went.
Wow. I’ve dated a couple chicks like this. They seem rational, but then bam! Out comes the crazy and the long list of (almost always) monetary demands. Never went as far as yours since I didn’t date them as long. Who knows, maybe she saw her friends getting all of this stuff, influence from parents (Mom), or maybe she just always thought that (I bet it came out in some instances and you ignored/wrote it off as I did). Thank god I never pulled the trigger on any of them. These situations make me want a prenup. If that’s not feasible then I’ll just bury a chest full of gold somewhere (a bit risky or is it really?). I’m exaggerating of course, but I can’t ignore all of these scenarios. I guess one way to avoid it is for your partner to have some skin in the game too. P.S. that hot-crazy matrix that was floating around a few months ago is insanely true.
^ I dated this 1 chick for 6 months when out of the blue, she turned to me and said ““my sis wants to go to med school, you’re going to pay for that right?””
Was she actually being serious?
“Depends on quality and quantity of her sexual performances. I’m not paying for anybody’s school unless I’m getting some.” (My kids and wife being the sole exception to the rule.)
You aren’t getting any from your wife??? Where did your kids come from?
No way! Seriously?