Suing Google

Guys, I need your support in this pressing matter. Today I used google maps to find directions and it didn’t come up with the address I put in. I tried three times with no luck. I will be suing google and asking for compensation of at least $.01 and the resignation of the CEO. I have a team of lawyers from South Africa who have assured me if I send them $10,000 now they will negotiate a settlement of at least $500,000,000 via secure wire transfer. Grasshoppers can’t fly without their back legs. They mentioned I won the lottery in South Africa as well. I have given Google management three options: 1. The CEO will be replaced with the person I choose, Brett Michaels, and I will get a salary of $1.00 2. The current CEO can stay in his current position as long as they negotiate with my team of foreign attorneys. 3. Eric Schmidt must agree to stop wearing cardigans. Also, this will be front page news in the Los Angeles Times and the WSJ tomorrow morning I am told from one of my internet attorneys. Please join me as a friend on facebook. My real name is 2morelevels. This is my internet pseudoname. Also, anyone that responds to this email gets 10% of my new company, 2morelevels hedge fund. I just interviewed Ben Bernanke to be my macro strategist and he is willing to come on as an intern.

you must be on crack

No you don’t understand. This will sell copies. I will be giving 50% of the profits to the US Government and 50% to the AF forum. I drank two energy drinks today. I will be the voice of all google mappers. Grape Cool-aid is my favorite.

I support your efforts and stand for value.

“I support your efforts and stand for value.”

Thanks for your support. I will now give you 10% of my hedge fund.

I was going to fund PhilippPlatt’s venture, but now I’m hesitating…

I will only take you serious (and think you are on crack) when you post your real name and company (plus linkedin profile). And hope your profile pic looks better.