This is a true story

My friend calls me last night - not to mention he was interrupting a lavish gourmet dinner that I was enjoying [okay, this part didn’t happen] - and says “hey dude, I need some help. I opened up an Etrade IRA a couple of summers back and contributed $3K to it, but it hasn’t done a single thing since. It’s still just sitting at $3K, do you know if there’s a problem?”

I did end up laughing over the phone at this, but explained to him that even when you put money in a vending machine you need to still make a selection. He was under the impression that Etrade would do this all for him automatically.

There is still a tremendous opportunity for human FAs out there, that’s for sure.

That’s pretty funny. A friend of a friend told me once that day trading stocks that you’d want to buy-and-hold is pretty much riskless because if things go south, you can just keep them.

Doesn’t Etrade have daily interest accounts that pay 0.05%/annum??? :confused:

I like your vending machine analogy. Very apt!!! :+1:

a day trader that buys and hold? i thought they zero shit out end of day!

What can I say? I’m a shmoozer - literally. Next week my boss and I are going to a CFA society of colorado event where good ol’ myron Scholes is a keynote.

I presume that by the end of the evening we’re on a first name basis.


(I’m just kidding guys, I’m really not this full of myself).

Dude starts making more than 50k and he goes wild

I went to an event with Myron Scholes years ago. He doesn’t give a sht - just talks about whatever he wants. I bet he’s even more like that now.

Don’t forget to tell him about the WC.

Alright you win.