Hat’s off to you KMD.
How much do you weigh?
#totallyserious
^^ 700lb
It’s empty in the valley of your heart. The sun, it rises slowly as you walk, away from all the fears and all the faults you’ve left behind.
In all seriousness, the dudes who are hypthesizing the end of ‘pairing up’ sound similar to the people who predicted the end of cities with the rise in technology. People would prefer to be in touch with nature, enjoy bliss, solitude and work remotely. Why bother yourself with the dirt, grime and pollution of cities, right? They were proven spectacularly wrong. We are social creatures and when you throw in the fact that people in stable relationships are happier that people who aren’t in one the general trend will probably remain constant. Marriage as an institution might die out but ‘pairing up’ will stick around.
Throw in the fact that the fastest growing ethnic groups in the states place heavy emphasis on familal structures and are not as dysfunctional as White people when it comes to inter-personal relationships, it doesn’t look like there will be such a drastic change.
Oh and yeah, there are like a 100,000+ college educated immigrants (primarly male) entering the USA every year. As the world becomes flatter these dudes will have less of a cultural gap to bridge in the future opening up a whole new pool to American women in the next few decades who tend to be pretty open-minded.
u lot seen the size on the avg yank bird? this is not surprising.
not that the avg yank dude is any better mind.
I’ll admit my posts were more of a bitter, sarcastic rant about my annoyances with the current dating culture as a female under 30 living in the US.
You make some interesting points. I could also take your points and make a couple of counter-points.
True. However, single <> anti-social.
Probably generally true. However, the key word in there is stable. What about all them dysfunctional white people you mentioned? I’d argue it’s generally true that single people are happier than people in unstable relationships. I still think people today are much less likely to stick it out in an unstable or unhappy relationship than say 30 years ago. And I think the process of settling down is simply taking longer or being delayed for a variety of reasons. Certainly not a drastic change, but it is a gradual shift that could cause some cultural changes.
Perhaps you solved my problem. Thanks for the tip.
I think the issue is that well-off people don’t need each other as much as they used to, partly because it’s more socially acceptable to be unmarried (probably a good thing overall, but possibly with negative side effects) and partly because the business of raising a family of you want one can be outsourced considerably if you can afford it.
On the other hand, if you’re not well off, you may need a partner because of unstable cash flows or the need for a two income family, especially if there are children. These people are more likely to feel trapped in relationships, which make them unstable because the fear of needing someone competes with the frustration of having to coordinate with someone.
First, I will admit that “lonliness is an illusion” was perhaps too powerful of a statement… as well as “maybe pairing up in on its way out”. BUT now that I have your attention I can say something more sensable like “feelings of sadness when alone are often misinterpreted as lonliness” and “maybe in the future it will be accepted that the choice of not pairing up will be the best choice for life fullfillment for SOME people”
Look, I’m not a psychologist so I am skewed to my own personal experience and what I have observed in those around me as well as what is predominate in media and culture. The going general consensus is that the pinacle of life experience is the bonds you make and sharing with others. I am certainly not knocking that! HOWEVER, I present a different viewpoint of life fulfillment. I think there are many different vehicles to feel whole in life. Bonding with someone special is ONE of those vehicles… but there others. You also have personal growth/ accomplisment, spiritual discovery (philosophical discovery for you agnostics)… and so on. Each of these vehicles comes with sacrifices and/or compromise (payment). The each have their own payoff as well.
I think it is up to the individual to pick which vehicles will give them the most value for the effort they put in. This may or may not be persuing a special bond with another human. But even though they don’t chose to focus their energy in this department it can still be a secondary effort… friendships and working relationships. Yes, all people need some companionship, but not all will get the maximum return out of life by making it a priority.
bump
The choice of solitude is there… but as you can see, not “acceptable”