daviskr Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ASSet_MANagement Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > daviskr Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > ASSet_MANagement Wrote: > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > ----- > > > > My current GF makes more than I do but I > > always > > > > insist on paying. > > > > > > > > Granted she’s 6 years older. > > > > > > ^GF? Already? > > > > > > Yeah kind of… > > Is she worthy enough to bring out when Doug and I > come visit? Maybe, she looks like Sara Silverman, shes 29, Anesthesiologist and pretty short. Kind a of klutz, and by kind of, I mean really clumsy. She’s cool though, we’ll see if she is still around when you get down here, I might find a chinga to entertain me.
I think you should just do what you f’n want, first dates aside (pay you cheap a-hole). After the first date, if you don’t want to pay, don’t pay, or vice versa. I’m completely adverse to a girl getting a free ride so I test to see if the girl at least offers to pay/split near the start, and then after two weeks or so I tend to get to closer to a 60/40 split - although its really dependent on who wanted to do the activity. If you’re sitting around thinking “how can I pay for things to make women like me more”, you’ve already lost the battle.
Definitely agree with Mr. Pink. Paying for first date sounds good, but I always prefer to go to someplace casual like a boutique coffee shop or a lounge to grab a drink or two. Dinner is more expensive and might lead to unnecessary expectations. After that, sometimes I pay for the girl but oftentimes I have a debate about whether I should pay, shouldn’t pay, etc…and I’ve decided that I just pay for the girl only when I feel like it. My time is valuable and it’s not like the girl is paying me to take time out of my schedule to hang out with her, so I certainly don’t need some silly societal rules or some chick reading Cosmo telling me whether I should or shouldn’t pay. It’s my money…I do what I wawnt!!!
supersadface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Numi- > > If you’re in a long-term relationship, I think > that occupation and professional status should > definitely be a factor. My g/f is now in law > school and has very, very, very little money to > spare. Hence, I’m paying for more than my share > of our evenings out, etc. If she graduates from > law school and for some reason I was unemployed, I > know she’d do the reverse. However, I don’t know > if we’re the norm. We’ve been dating for about 5 > yrs and have very similar saving/spending habits. > > -SSF 5 years? time to put a ring on it?
You guys may be older (more in need of a womans company) but offering to pay the first time and all the time seems a little desperate. And if i do pay she better put out.
Ski2Much Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You guys may be older (more in need of a womans > company) but offering to pay the first time and > all the time seems a little desperate. And if i do > pay she better put out. I always pay the first time…must be a southern thing. Then again my conversion ratio is pretty high.
Here’s a nice test to catch a golddigger at your first restaurant date. Invite her for lunch at a McDonald’s or Burger King (don’t tell her that its where you will be eating at - just give her the address). If she comes by, turns around and runs, she fails the test. If she sticks around, she has passed and then take her to the nice restaurant.
The nice thing about being around women who expect the man always to pay is that you don’t feel bad making her sing for her supper.
McDonalds -> Why not? I would be more upset if a dude took me out to a really fancy restaurant and wanted to go dutch. Different value systems I guess. Ski2Much -> How “young” are you? Are you under 20? If not, it’s not because of an age differential…
23- by older i just meant that many people on here seem to be professionals, which i am not but am working towards. I guess i just go the opposite way as most other people. I prefer to split the bill for a while but once things are more serious i usually pay for all of it. I actually think i would be offended if it was the first time meeting a girl and they expected me to pay (mabye not if it was cheap); but im sure most women would be offended that I would expect sex if i was paying for dinner as well… so to each their own method.
To to OP - Sorry, I didn’t mean to veer us off-topic. Online dating is interesting, to say the least. I have a theory that there’s a multiple of 10 for this. Ex: If you get hit on 10 times a week in person, you will get hit on 100 times online. If you get hit on 0 times a week in person… chances are, 0 online too. Ocean Mist’s multiple of 10 theory for online dating. -Also includes how to be a 10, out of 1-10 rating which means man pays for date… all the time! (Lol, I’m kidding. Don’t have a cow.)
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ^Nice way of putting it! I, however, find deep > respect for man that always wants to pay. This > means that he will not be petty with money. One of > women’s pet peeves are really stingy men that keep > a tally of who pays for what. I mean, I’m the type > of person that will pay for people without caring > much in moderate amounts. The dating scene is > different in how it’s not so much the money > factor, but more about pettiness. > > I guess my expectations are somewhat more extreme > because I value generosity as a high virtue to > strive for. > > And yes, I would offer to pay in all instances > (for the full bill), but like most women, this is > a “test.” LOL! Here are the following pass/ fall > scenarios: > > Scenario 1: > Dude - OKAY, you pay! > Outcome: Fail > > Scenario 2: > Dude - No, I will pay. > Girl - Okay, but let me get dessert / coffee > Subsect A: > Dude - Okay > Outcome: 50/50 Fail > Subsect B: > Dude - No, I got you this time but maybe next > time > Outcome: Pass if dude is still insistent on paying > but woman pays > > Scenario 3: > Dude - No, I will pay. > Girl - Okay, but let me get dessert / coffee > Dude - Thank you for the offer, but I believe the > man should always pay. > Girl - Oh, you are so studly! > Outcome - PASS!!! You better be smoking hot.
Ski2Much Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You guys may be older (more in need of a womans > company) but offering to pay the first time and > all the time seems a little desperate. And if i do > pay she better put out. Winner! There must be some really nice guys on this forum. With a lot of women, if you take her out for a nice dinner (or even a decent dinner) for one of the first several dates (three?), you already lose. It’s hard to generalize about an entire gender, but most women aren’t that attracted to the “nice” guy who is willing to throw money at them just for their company. Women also don’t like to feel as though they are being bought and are now obligated to drop their pants. And you don’t want to put the higher value on her anyway, you have to cultivate yourself as the higher value entity (see also: hypergamy). Personally, I never pay unless I’m already sleeping with her, and probably still wouldn’t take her to a nice dinner.
I pay. It’s a male pride & gene thing. I hunt. I provide. Ug ug ug. I will pull you by your hair back to my cave afterwards mind. But I always pay. First date, last date, middle date. And I always tip well too (as long as they are not a-holes). All real men do. I’m not nice, I just have a pair of cojones, a wallet and some self-respect. Buying a meal is not throwing money at women. It’s 2-3x a normal night out (sometimes less). If you don’t like her enough to have food and potentially some chig a chig, then dump her/don’t invite her out. Man up you bums. The only caveat to this is when you are at college and still poor. I could never afford to eat at a restaurant then and so I never went (maybe 3 times all in). But who needs food when you have alcohol and easy women in abundance?
mar350 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > i’m all for paying, but not until she deserves it. > there are too many women out there that try to > milk guys for stuff. > > if a date isn’t going well, its a 50/50 split - > like a mutual breakup. > if a date is going well, i get bill and she does > tip. > if a date is going very well, i take the whole > thing in stride. > > > > professions only matter if you both have one Now woman’s logic: if a date isn’t going well, he’s paying the whole thing - I’ll never see him again. if a date is going well, he pays the bill and I’ll offer to cover a tip - show him I am not milking him. if a date is going very well, I’ll invite him for a drink afterwards, let’s make it last longer. But in reality, the one who invites should pay. A popular girl can go out for a date every night if she wish. Can she afford to split the bill with all those guys who want to try their luck? At least she gives them the chance. I understand that it’s hard to accept for boys, but it’s just a kind of trade. You want to go out with a gorgeous girl?, pay all the way, there are too many competitors out there. If you are a popular boy, go out with a not so smart and not so cute lady, and she will split. Or go out with a “girl” 30 years older, and she will pay. For girls it always works as a test: the guy who pays the bill, really likes her. The one who doesn’t, doesn’t really like her. Unless she really likes him, she would go always for the one who likes her. It only looks like milking, but what’s the outcomes of all those dinners for a good looking girl? She can gain weight and loose her good looks, that’s all. Unless you go out with a beggar.
"You want to go out with a gorgeous girl?, pay all the way, there are too many competitors out there. " That’s a bit too general. There are a ton of gorgeous girls out there and not all of them are looking for the same thing. Personally I’m a pretty easy-going non-materialistic person, so I look to screen out the good looking ones just looking for cash / nice sh*t. They tend to be pretty shallow / unsubstantial girls anyways - not that I blame them for acting the way they do. The point is to decide who you are, and act accordingly. If you’re the kind of guy who likes blowing money to get in with some hot girls, go do it. But if you’re more of a laid-back guy, why act fake just to try to impress someone? Even if it works, you’re attracting them to the fake you, which probably isn’t going to help you in the long-term unless you like a maxed-out credit card.
Mr Pink it’s fine, a laid-back guy has a lot of other options, not so cute. It’s not necessary at all to go out with a chick spoilt by men. It’s funny to see here that almost all men oppose paying the bill on dates, while on my only trip to the US I noticed that men pay for girls even if it’s not a date, except for UG students. In Spain it’s normal to go Dutch, in Holland I suppose it’s common too. In Spain it’s because all guys are laid-back
For the guys who don’t pay, are these chicks attractive? Like, lights off status?
I think it depends on your views on money just as much as your views on dating. Some girls will view paying their fair share as: -liberating (WHOOOOO FEMINISM) -showing that they’re not interested -showing they’re interested and trying not to come off as needy -showing they’re capable of taking care of themselves financially -incredibly unfair and a guarantee that there will be no more dates with a guy There are as many views on dinner-tab politics as there are Star-trek spin-offs. What’s important is making sure your date is on the same page as you. Unfortunately, you don’t know much about your date when you’re headed out to dinner for the first time. Perversely, this is when stakes are highest for ‘getting it right’. Game Theory probably explains why most guys will almost always pick up the tab on the first few dates. Quite simply, it’s the most conservative option. If the girl is the type who demands that the guy pay, then fine, they’re home free. If the girl is the type who would be more than OK paying half, she’ll still probably be OK with you picking up the bill (with the assumption that she’ll get it next time). There’s a far less chance of picking up 100% of the bill and having it be completely the “wrong” way to deal with the check. Over the long term, couples probably reach an understanding of what’s expected. For me and my girlfriend, as I’ve said, we split things pretty evenly normally, but now I pay for more since she’s in school again. Other couples may totally be fine with the guy always paying. The important thing is being on the same page. If the girl thinks the guy paying 100% all the time is akin to being a prostitute (and yes, there really are some who feel this way) and the guy views anything less than picking up the full tab as wimpy, they simply won’t get along well. And now to un-hijack this thread: OP SHOW US YOUR NEW MATCH.COM PROFILE after your re-do! I’m curious to see what you’ve added/removed.
I will def post sometime this weekend- can’t now. I put it up Wednesday night, sent out 3 more emails, and still NO RESPONSES (and as I said I’m a decent looking guy (so what I’ve been told). I have gotten about a dozen new views, if that counts for anything (prob NOT!) Now I have a new concern that since my new profile is so different from the original “tombstone read,” I will be viewed as either “inconsistent” or that I paid someone to do it, which I didn’t.