You have much to learn young grasshopper
Nice to know I’m no longer the only Ancient One on this board.
No, I know that she won’t be 22 forever. The problem is–she’s 22 RIGHT NOW. She’s annoying RIGHT NOW.
And in ten years, when I’m 46, she’ll be 32, and she’ll be annoying then, too. Because she wants to do 32 year-old stuff, when I want to do 46 year-old stuff. (I don’t know if there’s as much diffference between 36 and 46 as there is between 22 and 32, but you get the drift.)
I am late thirties and dated a 24 year old for a couple of weeks and it was brutal. We had very few things in common (she was actually pretty smart) and she was terrible in bed. She was really hot though (went to Ole Miss) and I met her at a party. All her friends were just out of college and looked at me with a bit of a squinty eye. It was good experience though, but one that I will never repeat. We are actually still friends believe it or not (no hard feelings just in different life stages).
So what’s the ideal age difference for you guys?
Age is mostly just a number, but there are times when it’s not. The real question is how much do those times bother you (and them).
Personally, I find it harder to go down in age than to go up, because conversation is an important part of the experience, but it’s getting easier to go down in age as I get into the stratosphere myself.
Also, people mature at different rates. Often what matters is that you’re at a similar enough level that you can respect/understand each other and perhaps laugh in a friendly way about where ages make a difference.
The times when age matters more are when you’re dealing with life-cycle events, fertility, retirement, disease, injuries, energy levels, kids & parents (yours, theirs).
Each cohort/generation also has it’s own cultural milieu which can be a source of division or mutual enrichment depending on how people approach it.
One of my gay friends posted this on FB and it reminded me of some of my straight age-different relationships (I’ve been on both sides of the gap):
1st of. it happened. 2nd of. i wouldnt call hollering an epic event. 3rd she is in hs but claims she is 18.
but yea nothing happened. i aint about to holler at a hs.
i actually did it again just last week.
hollered at a famous taco joint around my area at 3 am ish. anyways. did the same routine got the number.
asked what hs she went. she said south, im from west. blah blah. asked what she does now.
then boom still in hs. so i threw a deuces and went back to my crew. haha totally awkward. but my friends got a kick.
I’m in my mid-40’s. Were I to find myself single again, I would probably be looking anywhere from 6-7 years younger to 1-2 years older then myself.
I generally disagree with this, because of this.
Generally, I expect 20 year-olds to act like 20 year-olds, 30 year-olds to act like 30 year-olds, and 40 year-olds to act like 40 year-olds. There may be an occasional individual that is significantly more/less mature than their age, but I’m not willing to cull the universe of 20 year-olds to find that one.
@Krnyc - I turn 36 in January. If I were dating again, I would probably limit the search to people in their 30’s, maybe as young as 28. But even at 28, I kinda feel like I’m robbing the cradle.
How do you guys feel when you are hitting on a woman and she turns out to be older than she looks (like she looks a couple years younger than you but actually a few year older)… is that a turn on or turn off?
Depending on the number I don’t think it’d be a problem. I would really only hit on a girl +/- 5 years most likely.
Depends. Are we looking for a wife or a one-night-stand or something in between?
that’s interesting… it matters?
I was curious as to the source of the coveted commodity of very young women that seems to be flaunted on here. I was wondering if it was more a function of apperance (in which the actual age does not matter) or a fuction of the status of landing a “young one” (where actual age matters). If term of relationship is a factor, it shouldn’t be… women who are already ageing well are most likely to continune to do so. With young ones, you don’t know what the next 5 years will bring!
our age is a characterization of intellectualization, rationalization and above all by the disenchantment of the world.
when you are young you are quite irrational with unrealistically big goals and dreams…Look at high school or even college kids…they think they will be a fighter jet pilot of F22, or hold the US OPEN trophy after dueling it out with Woods (myself here) or become an astronaut to land on Mars…that is nice but you ain’t getting there when you barely made the cut at your school’s golf team(not me on this)…10 years later looking back you realize how little of an effort you put in to even have a remote chance of reaching your goals. You realize you were in a dark, tight cylindrical echo chamber - you only heard your own voice and couldn’t see anything…your head was up your ass.
Then you become little more rational through life lessons, advice from others, and above all from the best teacher in existence - your own experience…At this point you realize that the world and you are not that special and that you are just an average person or slightly above average person at best. You become less enchanted about the world and mature up and become more realistic and start to care more about current events and your realistic goals. You in turn are more focused and have somewhat a better handle of yourself. Still long ways to go though
I think men’s criterion for a one-nighter is vastly different than a long-term relationship. I’m surprised that women don’t feel the same way.
For guys, the basic criteria are 1) legal, 2) available, 3) interested (maybe), 4) attractive enough that you like the idea of sleeping with her.
If 4 is borderline, add alcohol and re-evaluate.
For a relationship, you hope items 1-4 apply, but personality and intelligence start to matter too.
Of course, many men just fall into relationships rather than seek them out. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s often enough of a challenge to secure some sex that men tend to choose their relationships out of the women who they like having sex with, whereas women tend to go the other way around, choosing to have sex with the men they like having a relatinoship with…
It’s useful to remember that observation, because both men and women get in trouble when they assume the opposite sex’s search criteria is the same as theirs. That doesn’t mean it’s always correct to assume the difference, but it is more often than not the case.
We do. What makes you think we don’t?
To quote the late CvsM, women fake orgasms and men fake relationships.
If you look at the list of sexiest men alive, it’s always men in their mid 30s to mid 40s that are on top. Men in that range are at their most attractive physically. Men also start getting established professionally during that period.
That’s why I highly advise men not to get hitched before because you haven’t reached your peak yet. It gets much better in the sweet spot (mid to late 30s) and your options do increase. You also have a better idea of what you want in a partner.
Women are a different story. They have it good in their 20s. The problem for them is as they age there is a new group of 20s entering the dating market. Most men I speak to tell me that marrying a woman in the 25-28 range is ideal.
Good post by Bchad.
I was gonna say–if I’m just looking to get laid, any warm hole will do (within great reason, of course).
if I’m looking for something longer term, I need someone who shares religious and political beliefs, someone with similar intellect and reasoning skills, like interests, stimulating conversation, child-rearing sense (since I have a two and four year old), domestic engineering abilities, compassion, a sense of humor, and great at fellatio.
Seems fair enough.
I actually was messaging a chick online dating for the past few days. 21, college senior. I thought screw it, I’ve basically run out of girls in my age bracket on here. So asked if she’d like to go grab a drink. No response.
Oh well, I probably would have lost it with her, similar to ft, at some point. In one of her messages she referred to something as being “bae”. I had to google it. Kids these days. http://blog.dictionary.com/adjectival-bae/