Body image issues... for MEN

It’s no secret that a lot of women (I’d say most) suffer from some level of body image problem. Partly because women tend to be more body conscious and have a more self-critical nature, and also partly because the media around us always portray the super model figures that is a constant reminder of “YOU ARE TOO FAT”!

That’s not the topic i want to talk about (and it’s hardly a good forum to talk about women issues to start with). I am curious to know, how many men (so many of you here) suffer from body image issues?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend last week, he is a slender built normal kinda guy, but he admittedly said he would get “uncomfortable” in the summer with buff shirtless men walking around. In fact he said he is now almost too shy to go to the beach next to those gym fit bodies.

I reacted excitedly because FINALLY guys in 2013 are starting to feel how we feel for the past century!!! >_<

I know, the biggest asset of a man is his brain and not his biceps, but i can’t help but wonder, with so many buff beach bodies around, do men (especially self-confident finance-driven alpha males here) shy away from perfect male figures or do men look at other men and think, “DAMN! I need to work out more before wearing that tanktop!”



Depends on what you mean by “issues.” I’m a little vain. I wax my back because back hair is nasty, not because I get insecure. When I get a little pudgy I slim down because I don’t like the way I look, not to mention my clothes don’t fit right. It’s not because I’m trying to look like a Men’s Health cover model.

It helps that you’ll often see fat guys with attractive women - like real life King of Queens stuff. Having a good sense of humor seems to help, money also does the trick. But the point is, I think guys see from a young age that being really really ridiculously good looking isn’t the end all. I gather it’s a pretty different world view than what women are exposed to.

You dont have to be Mr. Buff to attract decent chicks…some girls prefer super ripped abs over huge arms. No girl will wants a fat ass tho or a skinny skeleton. Just be a decent weight, with decent pecs, no muffin top, no beer gut, semi to really ripped arms and youre good. It’s easy if you hit the gym a few times a week…no need to go on steroids tho. I dont look at other men tho (thats homo), I just think I should make the same effort the good looking chicks are probably making.

Men will never have the same body image issues that women always had. Simply because women are less visual and more auditory then men. So I think for a guy having an unpleasent voice is much more harmful.

How attractive are unemployed men? Less attractive than employed unnattractive men?



The last 10% was my effort to give women the benefit of the doubt. A common question men ask of women is “Tell me what you want in a man?”, which is like asking how many guys she’s slept with, an invitation to be lied to. Because she’ll almost invariably answer with some combination of • sense of humor • intelligence • sensitivity • emotional stability

As far as I can tell this is mostly rubbish. But in an effort to be fair I have included this, since there seem to be a few rare cases of this. Just none that I have ever seen.

Well, women are upping their demands for how they want their men to look these days. I think that’s the main news. So appearence counts for more than it used to (of course it always counted for something, even if it didn’t account for as much for men as it does with women).

Mostly men worry about not being rich or powerful enough to be attractive. That’s the parallel that most correlates to women worrying about their appearence.

I find that many women who are worried about how attractive they are are actually perfectly fine and overdo their fears; personally, I’m not into stick-thin women (better a little too much than much too little). Many men also are probably overconcerned about their wealth in many cases - there is some value in being uninteresting to the gold-diggers of the world.

I kinda disagree…

When i studied abraod, i know alot of girls (still do) who would date unemployed men (or men with no career) ALL THE TIME!

Think about it, it’s always the australian dudes who work travel in another country that date all the girls.

I don’t think all (or majority of) women look for money and career prospects in men.

Honestly speaking, a lot of ladies have some hidden instincts to almost want to “help and support” the men in a (motherly) way.

It’s an old hollywood story that rich girls date bad boys from the hood - it’s true!

Any man can become unempolyed. I think it’s important to look at the personality trait. A hustler and someone with the right attitude will figure it out eventially, and is definitely more attractive…

The description you just mentioned IS Mr. Buff… :slight_smile:

When i said “buff” i don’t mean extreme body builders, A&F models are buff, athletes are buff, a lot of celebs are buff…

I think you got the point, but it applies mostly to younger women. Once the woman is at the point of her life when she is looking for partner to create a family, the stability of his career becomes a priority. Not necessarily wealth per se, but just a stable job…

I mean I know men may not come close to women’s obsession on beauty anytime soon, but i am spotting a TREND rather, that men are paying more attention to grooming and body figures. More men are going to the gym than ever! The industry for men’s skincare is growing massively, there are a lot more products on men’s grooming than ever. Not to mention, there are also more super-hero movies in the last decades than ever! Think about it, all these new movies or TV shows portray well-groomed and gym fit male characters, definitely more so than say 10-20 years ago!

Step 1) Be attractive

Step 2) Don’t be unattractive

Ya… i used to think that, but some of those girls i (used to know) actually married those men from australia/ mexico/ UK…

And again, i’m sure there are gold-diggers out there still, but how old school is the term gold-digger anyway when you really think about it?

When is the last time you even hear people use the term gold digger, or how often do these personalities get portrayed on TV or in movies these days?

I think women are more independent in this century that, more and more women wouldn’t mind marrying men who make less money than them and job security and prospects for men are less of a “deal breaker” or a prime criteria for women choosing a partner.

No, it still happens all the time. I hear the term all the time and see examples of it at least weekly. You see some 24 year old hanging on the arms of a 50 year old man…she’s a gold digger.

I agree! :slight_smile:

Women can be very superficial, i admit, and a lot of them are not truly honest with themselves.

Like as if Chris Hemsworth (Thor, in case you guys don’t know who he is) walks up to most women and ask if they will have his baby, these women are going to turn him down because of his lack of intelligence or sense of humour!

^ I have not seen a trend in US (maybe for gay guys).

Boil it down to basics. If a woman wants to impress a guy, good looks are a must. If a guy wants to impress a woman, Bad Boy dashing looks work, but so does flashing money and being a jerk. All that matters is you get her attention and crowd out your competitors. That can be accomplished in other ways (e.g. being funny or considerate) but to close the deal ( = have sex), you need to assure her lizard brain that your offspring will be survivers. Money and meanness ensure survival as much as strength.

Ramos, why so homophobic? I look at buff guys all the time - impossible not to on California beaches. Never did I think “ooohhhh how I would like to melt in his strong biceps.” Unpucker.

A lot of women (especially educated ones) are a lot more independent today, and so how wealthy a man is not as important as it used to be and other things - sensitivity, kindness, and, yes, sometimes looks - can be more important than they used to be.

But there are still plenty of traditional gold-diggers out there. You see them and they are often so transparent it’s laughable. And I don’t think there’s any real problem with acknowledging that they are out there and men with means need to be careful of them. The problem is when men start to think *all* women are gold diggers, which usually just means that the only women they hang out with (or the only women they are able to attract) are gold diggers.

My opinion is muscles on a man are the male equivalent of cleavage on a woman. It’s definitely nice to look at and touch and some people are suckers for those things however most people will not be making life partner decisions based on that.

I’ve vowed to get my six pack back before every Vegas trip and Chicago summer yet i’m still not quite there. Work, CFA and life got in the way. It’s more about how you carry yourself as a whole. I defnitely don’t feel like I need to go work out after watching Ironman or Batman or any Channing Tatum movie.

I work out because it makes me feel baddass to be able to do things the majority of people can’t. The confidence from thet is probably more effective than the rippling abs and whatnot glorified in underwear packages.

Anyway, my fiance makes more than me simply because she is really good at selling. Nicest person you’ll ever meet, total lady, but ruthless salesperson when she has to be. That’s what comes from having to work for what you have. Personnally, I’d rather have my partner make more than me, because I do okay so if she makes more than me then WE are doing really well. I don’t want to work in this game forever and neither does she.

On the gold digger front, I was having dinner with a 60 year hold electrician from Jersey City last week and he flat out said he could have a 30 year-old girlfriend. All he’d have to do is wave some money around. He also said that when he hangs out with his friends who have trophy-gfs he “can see right through these people” and that basically it is depressing.

Life partner is completely different consideration than an f-buddy. The best sex I’ve had was with women who were most definitely not relationship material…read: completely insane.