Hey Gents, Just got dumped after 3.5 years. Didn’t see it coming. Feelings are a rollercoaster right now. Advice? Besides banging a random?
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Very sorry to hear about that. But 3.5 years and you had no clue? What was the reason? It can be very difficult to move on emotionally until you are able to understand the rationale behind her decision.
My condolences…that sucks.
Dude, I had a similar thing happen after six years during a classic case of study abroad gone awry. At that level of junk, there’s no one size fits all advice, and no easy fix. What I did, was just pick myself up, get my act together, get in better shape, dress better, party harder, expand my friend group and basically just live a fuller life. You can either come out of this worse than you were, or better than you were. Other touchy feely options are better left for people who wanna pound ice cream while listening to air supply and telling themselves it’s not their fault. A word on rushing the recovery though, I thought I’d cruised past any real emotional feedback, turned out I may have partied a bit much and wound up getting canned from my last job for being really hammered at work after too much fun at a liquid lunch. Story ended well though, wound up doubling my pay at my next position.
Can you give more details?
Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Dude, I had a similar thing happen after six years > during a classic case of study abroad gone awry. > At that level of junk, there’s no one size fits > all advice, and no easy fix. What I did, was just > pick myself up, get my act together, get in better > shape, dress better, party harder, expand my > friend group and basically just live a fuller > life. You can either come out of this worse than > you were, or better than you were. Other touchy > feely options are better left for people who wanna > pound ice cream while listening to air supply and > telling themselves it’s not their fault. Awesome.
Details Please!!!
Go to Brazil, hit the Rio Carnival… oops next year. New Orleans? Spring break? Enjoy the singledom for a while, don’t take it too seriously.
You’ll get over it after a while. I know this dude who proposed to his gf -> rejected -> broke up. But he was fine after a bit. In the mean time… well I don’t know. Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do but put off due to work, saving money, etc. ?
does she have a sister?
It is impossible to give advice about girls without PICTURES. So post some and we will help make you feel better!
ohai Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You’ll get over it after a while. I know this dude > who proposed to his gf -> rejected -> broke up. > But he was fine after a bit. In the mean time… > well I don’t know. Is there something that you’ve > always wanted to do but put off due to work, > saving money, etc. ? Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a proposal being turned down. That’s pretty crazy.
ohai Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You’ll get over it after a while. I know this dude > who proposed to his gf -> rejected -> broke up. Probably an indecent proposal. Congrats to her, few women can resists Robert Redford on a yacht.
Not too many details really. She was away for work for about 3 weeks. WHen she came back she showed up and said that her feelings had changed. I tried to get more details, but she said she really just feels differently now. Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >What I did, was just > pick myself up, get my act together, get in better > shape, dress better, party harder, expand my > friend group and basically just live a fuller > life. You can either come out of this worse than > you were, or better than you were. Other touchy > feely options are better left for people who wanna > pound ice cream while listening to air supply and > telling themselves it’s not their fault. This sounds like a plan, THanks!
I would enjoy being single for a while and try not to overanalyze the situation (easier said than done I know). Women are strange creatures and sometimes I wonder whether we were really meant to coexist. This may be a blessing in disguise because you sound like a decent bloke.
rhyme Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Not too many details really. She was away for > work for about 3 weeks. WHen she came back she > showed up and said that her feelings had changed. > I tried to get more details, but she said she > really just feels differently now. > > > Black Swan Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > >What I did, was just > > pick myself up, get my act together, get in > better > > shape, dress better, party harder, expand my > > friend group and basically just live a fuller > > life. You can either come out of this worse > than > > you were, or better than you were. Other > touchy > > feely options are better left for people who > wanna > > pound ice cream while listening to air supply > and > > telling themselves it’s not their fault. > > > This sounds like a plan, > > THanks! She might change her mind, sounds like she didn’t really think the decision over
Hey mate, sorry to hear about the breakup. I think in terms of what you “should” do, nobody can really tell you that – you just have to know yourself and what you enjoy doing. For starters, think about what your life was like before you got together with her – pretty sure you had some interesting hobbies and other things to fill your time. In my case, whenever I’ve gotten out of a long-term relationship, I try to occupy myself with some of the things I enjoy doing most, whether that’s sports, music, watching movies, or just hanging out with friends. Doing that can give you the perspective that you need to understand that there’s life before and after relationships. If you’re thinking that you might need time to get your feelings sorted out, take whatever time you need but also realize it’s still OK to hang out with other women. In my case, I much prefer to be in a good relationship than to just mess around, but I didn’t want to take myself out of the market for too long because you just start losing your wit and charm otherwise. I’m not really good about faking my feelings so if I met a girl that I thought was cute but knew I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, I’d just tell her I wasn’t looking for anything serious and just wanted to enjoy life right now, with or without someone else. And surprisingly, I find that certain women tend to respect that a lot more – and heck, if you meet someone who’s also not looking for something serious, you can have a lot of fun with few strings attached. I hope this helps, and I also agree with what thommo77 said about not overanalyzing the situation – you might not even gain clarity on it till months have passed by and you have time to reflect. Most important thing is to think about what you might be able to do better in your next relationship, but don’t get too concerned about what she’s feeling if she won’t tell you. After all, would you really want to be with someone that had trouble communicating their feelings with you?
Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ohai Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > You’ll get over it after a while. I know this > dude > > who proposed to his gf -> rejected -> broke up. > > But he was fine after a bit. In the mean > time… > > well I don’t know. Is there something that > you’ve > > always wanted to do but put off due to work, > > saving money, etc. ? > > > Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a proposal > being turned down. That’s pretty crazy. two funny rejections: Marriage Proposal Rejected at Basketball Game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPkxzHKLpk Rejection on Live Talk Show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJS5tUsZYOg&feature=related PS . . . I am actually getting over a chick as well. We talked about getting married, but things fell through. Life is freaking hilarious sometimes (dark facetious tone).
even your casual breakup advice, numi, reads like an interview response to a question such as “why did you choose HBS?”. respect