Women do prefer those types. Its no secret, yet the majority of feminized men prefer to go watch the Vagina monologues and try to sneak their way into the poosay. Its because a lot of men are raised to think that their masculinity and sexual desires are shameful.
I agree with everything you said, but can we stop calling assertiveness, self-interest and healthy expression of one’s desires “jerk” tendencies? I 100% agree with the opinion that you get farther with women by taking care of yourself before others. Its not because women are attracted to jerks, its because women are attracted to leaders with healthy boundaries and their own passions and interests that take priority over someone elses’.
Getting back to the original question, I would prefer an honest and simple rejection. Men are used to rejection and the ones that aren’t will be soon enough.
My experience is that there’s a lot of variety in what women want.
It’s also my experience that neither men nor women know what they want when they’re young and get better at figuring it out as they age. When we’re young, are choices seem to be dominated by:
what our hormones are asking for (esp men, but also women)
what we think others would envy us for having on our arm (esp women, but also men)
Young men seem to think of women as sex objects (no surprise there)
Young women seem to think of men as either providers or as fashion accessories.
Later, we realize what makes being with someone a good balance between fun, hot, interesting, and secure.
If you are single for a long time (and it’s due to not finding someone that you consider worthy rather than preferring the single lifestyle) than it’s not called being picky, it’s called trying to date someone outside of your league.
The great thing about the dating market is that it’s more efficient than ever before in history. People now have the option to meet someone thousands of miles away instead of settling with someone from their local church.
In my experience, women prefer the challenge of taking the beast out of the bad boy rather than put a bit of beast into the nice guy. Either they think the former is easier to reform or believe both are impossible to reform but at least with the former there’s spice and things don’t get boring. Boring is the kiss of death and most consider drama to be the lesser evil.
Not necessarily. You go on vacation, meet someone interesting, keep in touch via skype and FB, agree to visit each other, decide to move to the same city. I know at least 3 couples that met their significant other that way.
I’ve found that in the better relationships, there is always someone with more power in the relationship, but that who that person is changes from time to time. You may feel “yes, I have the power” but three months later, she or he has the balance of power, and a year later, it’s you again on top.
The other thing I feel is that it is possible to have a 60-60 relationship, because men and women care about different stuff. So you feel you have control over 60% of the stuff that really matters to you, and so does the other person, it’s just that your ‘most important stuff’ is different from theirs. I find these relationships are good and stable, because you have enough influence to control the things that are most important to you, but you don’t have so much power that you start to take the other person for granted.
That’s six more people than a decade ago using those means.
A century ago, you would match with someone as close as your horse will take you to. Cars, trains, planes, social media, women entering the workforce en masse (consequently giving them more options) have changed the landscape. We live in a globalized dating world and as the effcient frontier has demonstrated, that makes things more efficient.
Is this guy a gentleman, or did I get friendzoned? Or is he gay? Specifics- nice guy, very intelligent in math-y way, somewhat awkward and embarrassing (but not fashion tone-deaf like all the rest of men in PNW). Said he’s not interested in ‘hooking up’. I did ask if he were gay (which may have been a faux pas…) he said no. I’m very cautious so I’m not 100% sure if I’m interested, but mildly-somewhat strongly so. Meet frequently, 3-5 times/week. I assumed that meant he is interested, but he’s def not aggressive alpha male so I might have misinterpreted signals?
I get the impression that Emi is quite awkward as well. Edit: I did tune out the rest of the thread where a bunch of lonely single guys professed deep understanding of relationships.
