Good sex+doesn’t brag > good sex+brag> bad sex+knows it > bad sex + oblivious
and
doesn’t brag : brag :: knows it : oblivious :: good guy : bad guy
Not that simple. The desirable value that men can make you feel is in proportion to man’s inherent value. Except, I would argue, women don’t rate just on looks. (presentability is a big factor at least for me. If he embarasses me in any way in public, out. Looks plays a big role in that one, but asshole=>unpresentable. Also unemployed, badly dressed, etc.)
Btw I always wondered, this scale of yours- is it relative or absolute? Like 9=90% , etc? If absolute how do you rate. Ie face is proportionate, symetrical, good healthy hair, clean nails, etc. Can you have all checked boxes minus one and still have high rating? Like hair, face, figure, but bad teeth- still high score? And there has got to be different ‘styles’ of beauty too, how do you figure that? Is fashion sense a factor too (I feel for women rating men, it’s a huge factor).
I’m always amused when women rate men. As if you’re always getting our best efforts. I’m not too concerned when my “take it or leave its” don’t get off or don’t feel loved. I win. Good night. On the other hand, if you’re a keeper, you’re probably getting the old college try. Next time you rate somebody as “bad”, consider that you might not be a keeper…
“Hotness” isn’t the first or only trait we look for. Availability/Interest [in us] is also pretty relevant. Often time the hottest woman is not interestested but someone else who’s attractive enough is.
Hotness sure gets our attention, though. That may be what you’re sensing.
Secondly, hotness isn’t “enough” to spend at least one night with the person, because there’s a risk/return calculation going on. When a hot woman seems too eager to have sex with a guy, our warning lights often go on. Is she really into us? Or is she or someone else using her hotness to entrap me in some way? Is she trying to sell me something other than (or perhaps including) herself? Will she be crazy in some way and I can’t get away from her? Or is something else unusual going on.
On the reward/return side of the equation, hotness may be enough enough on its own (or availbility, or something else), but there’s still the risk calculation going on (though that may be impaired if alcohol or drugs are involved).
Wow. Um, no…no.
Fashion sense? Interesting…Is fit guy that obviously takes care of his health and body but dresses poorly < well dressed average guy? Seems if most women would spend as much time taking care of their body as they do dressing it, there would be a lot more happy husbands and boyfriends. I care so very little about what is hanging on the rack. So much more interested in the rack itself.,
Sounds like you’ve been burned on the reviews.
I like fashion sense in a woman, provided that it’s not all brand name obsessed. Most women look better in their clothes than out of them, particularly if they know how to dress. In intimate moments, I am a big fan of lingerie on women.
As long as they work well with what they have, what purpose is served by arguing that standing nude in harsh lighting with no make up, they don’t look as nice. Virtually no one looks as nice that way. Let wome do their best to make themselves beautiful to us and just appreciate the result, I think.
I’ve never had a body that would look stunning in an underwear ad, but over the years I’ve learned how to dress it well. When the clothes come off, they don’t seem to be running away. I suspect the ones that would have run away have already just-friended me by that stage.
Fashion sense is pretty important for a guy trying to attract women. Though it’s also important to remember that different women prefer different fashions: some like the jeans and t-shirt look, others like suits, others like the leather biker guy look, others like skinny jeans, and others (I assume, but I can’t imagine why) like the shorts that fall of your butt and show a guy’s baggy underwear. It’s also true that the same woman likes different styles at different seasons, times of the day, etc…
Take a woman friend shopping with you (you do have a woman friend, right?) to get her to work on your look. That will be time and money well spent. If you have a gay friend and trust them not to get the wrong signal from the request, you can do well by consulting them too.
Get a few good combinations. One style for social occasions, one style for hanging around the house, one for formal or business-y events, one for being a bit fun and wacky. In places where the weather goes through seasons, it’s easier to do this, because - for example - there are seasons for wool, seasons for leather, seasons for cotton and linen, and each suggests a different kind of look.
That’s what this man wants too. Thought I had it eight years ago when I got married, and I was wrong. Divorced now, but this is what I’m still looking for.
haha… what is your wife take on it?
BTW you missed the condition to make us feel desirable i.e. you have to meet the Top5 (atleast 3- again we can go in details) traits on our list
Yeah, I imagine my star rating has been declining. Hoping I can still bring it if something worthwhile comes along…
Many, many years ago, I thought of a system for this idea. It’s held up pretty well. My theory of female attractiveness is that women are some combination of three things: beautiful, cute, and hot. Some women are very strongly just one of these, while some have high proportions of two, and some have all three, to some extent.
One of my female friends - who I crazy desired many years ago and, yeah, if she were divorced, I’d be interested still - gets very high marks in the beautiful and hot categories.
Ofcourse availability/interest are the underlying assumptions. You have a conflicting statement in your second paragraph. When your sole motive is to have the best girl in your arm and make other men jealous then why would you pick on the red flags?? and having a long term relation isn’t on your mind either
No no don’t say that! Because they don’t think, behave, reason the way we think they do or should do… I think it only makes things interesting.
My sole motive is not necessarily to have the best girl on my arm and make other men jealous. Some other men appear to have that as their primary objective.
As for me, my objective may be to have the best girl on my arm, but who is “the best girl” is an internal calcuation that (to me) involves a lot more than hotness.
Hotness is a factor, and it catches my (our) attention for sure. Remember that a woman who is asking a man to be monogamous is asking him to shut down his reactions (or his ability to follow through on his reactions) to other attractive women; in that case, it’s not unreasonable for a man to want to ensure that he’s satisfied in the “does she stimulate me visually” department (and women too, though some women care less about that)
Figuring out “who is the best girl” takes a while, while figuring out “who is hot” doesn’t. That’s why hotness ends up being so influential in the beginning.
Consider how it works for a guy who takes a long time to figure out who the best girl is, really gets to know her, decides that she’s the one he wants, tries to start a relationship, and then gets told “no, I’m not interested in you; let’s just be friends.” He’s figured it out: she’s got 4 out of top5 items, she’s single and potentially available. That’s a lot of time and resources that got put into something that very likely would have had the exact same outcome on the very first night he talked to her and suggested coming up for a drink. He wants to avoid that outcome, the time, the resources, the other missed opportunities. It’s just a very expensive strategy for a man in terms of time, money, and disappointments.
On the other hand, consider the guy who’s attracted to a girl, she likes him, sleeps with him, he discovers that she’s really neat, and says “yeah, this one is great, I’m going to work hard to keep her happy.” Or he discovers that although sex was nice, she’s a little too boring, or needy, or something, so it’s time to move on. Or he discovers “OMG, she’s crazy, I gotta get out fast and move on to the next.”
You might think “Oh, but he was examining risks, no one he will sleep with will be crazy.” But the truth is not all risks are visible from the start. But some are. And others have hints. So you improve your chances by considering that hot women that seem unusually interested in you may have an agenda that’s not simply “hey, I like you.”
Obviously there’s also a middle ground between picking up someone for a one-nighter at a bar, and targeting your life partner, and that’s what dating is about. You go on a few outings and sooner or later someone will be just-friended, or people will start exchanging bodily fluids.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t date. I’m just saying it’s not all that surprising that - given the dynamics - men tend to want to decide on how much they want a relationship after having sex, whereas women tend to want to decide on it before.
It’s good to know men like you exist. It’s easy to forget hanging out on AF
Lame.
Time to drink.
First bold: Or maybe they just have more choices to select from?
Second bold: Besides pregnancy, it (provided it’s consensual) needs not to be any of these things… But men (even reasonable ones) just love to think that for their own possessive instincts.
yep because we care about our future spouse who cares about our score. Men want to sleep with almost every girl but dont want to marry who slept with lots of boys.