I think people overrate household chores. Yes, I said it. But my wife and I can clean the whole house in about an hour on a Sunday morning. Badda boom. Cooking, eatting and cleaning dinner takes an hour a day if you hammer away. So we’re talking 8 or 9 hours a week of housework.
Raising kids is a lot of work, cleaning a house is not. But unless you have a huge ranch (oil ranch?) with several buildings, you’re just not managing your time well, it’s not that you don’t have enough of it.
I find that tasks generally expand or contract into the time that you have. If you have lots of time on your hands, it takes a lot of time to get things done. Set hard deadlines. From 12:30pm to 5:00pm you’re study, end of story. Everything else needs to fit into the rest of the day. Or whatever times work best for your family.
I hope you are reading this because i do think that what i am going to say will give you a new perspective.
What you need to do is prioritize!
What is the most important thing for you to accomplish right now? Is it being a good wife? a good daughter in law? or passing the CFA exam?
I understand you, like everyone, would want to achieve all those and while mutli-tasking is sometimes possible, but on the back of your head you always need to know what to give up when you need to choose between them.
Things never go as planned, like a sick family member, and i think you are absolutely right about being a full time housewife is a tough job! And if this is the new responsibility that you are signing on right now, i think you should consider giving your full attention to it first, and then, once you get the hang of things, go back to CFA.
Remember, CFA is just a piece of paper, don’t let it stress you out more than it should. it doesn’t mean you are an incompetent person if you don’t pass it this year. Families and relationships are forever!
I don’t think ti’s just about cleaning, surely, if you just need to clean a house you can spend 2 hours a day cleaning and you’re done.
But if you have in laws to take care of, and they are picky, it’s not a simple task, just think about making 3 meals a day, shopping, prepping, cleaning and know exactly what’s missing in the house and tend to their requests and also visit the father in law in the hospital, laundry, and repeat this everyday, it’s a huge job!
It gets better over time though, when you have a routine, like someone else said. but in the beginning when you are not familiar with other people’s tastes adn preferences, they can be hard to please!
Sumz-here is a perspective from a Saudi married level 2 candidate. I will comment on some aspects of your situation and hope it will help you in what you are experiencing. I think that most of CFA candidates experience or have experienced several difficulties outside the CFA books or EOC qs or understanding concepts and I think those are difficult tests and I have never committed to studying in my years of education as I did to those set of exams ( holding bachelors & masters degrees in engineering ). Understanding concepts ,IMO, needs a very clear mode and distractions would make it difficult to concentrate. Some of the CFA candidates have problems at work & some have a stable work while having family problems and others have probably both. I have long working hours, I travell a lot and I have a wife who wants me to spend time with. My wife is a full time housewife, unfortunate for a CFA candidate. She wants to work and I want her to work more than her ( specially at level 2) and she is still looking for one. She has been supportive to me but I always feel guilty for being busy with studying, work & other things. My mother does not live with us but lives less than a mile away and she does not know about my CFA involvement ( mainly because she has high blood pressure & diabetes and she worries a lot and I didnt want to put more pressure on her). Consequently, I do not visit her alot being busy with work as well as the exam. My wife is very kind to my mom and very respectful. However, problems within our family still exist and it bothers me a lot ( although she does not live with us). Sister - we are very different from the western culture. Some problems, specially with MIL, are caused by jeaousness. Whenver my mom critisizes my wife and I try to defend her, bigger problems arise. Unfortunately, you have to deal with them even if you were not a CFA candidate. I forgot to mention that I have 6 other siblings. Your husband is their only one ( elevating jeaousness ). Remember that she and your FIL would later push for seeing your children not too long from your marriage and the exam is held once a year ( as my parents always bring this into our conversation ). I love my wife a lot but I would never imagine that I would be on her side against my mother. I think that if problems with her are controllable, avoid telling him ( if you want him to pass). You are also in a good advantage since you and your husband are both taking the exam. I would recommend that you & your husband have the same material review order & probably suggest going to coffee to do practise, discussing concepts or whatever. A lot of candidates spend at least 9 hours at work & have difficulty in sleeping ( I do most of the time - both after work & at night ) and anxiety increases as more days pass & schedule committment get cut. I really suggest that you read a thread written here by Greenman for level 1 failures. I read it when I failed last year and I always compare distractions I encounter to other candidates.
I agree, try to prioritize and handle all tasks, but not letting any of them fall off. Just get up early and start drinking coffee in the morning to get a few hours in before people in the house wake up. Then spend some time with the in laws in the daytime and spend some time at night reviewing the material with your husband. Take extra advantage of the fact that your husband is studying for the same exact thing since you have a study buddy on demand! That’s great news. Look for the positives and keep your energy level up, even if someone criticizes you. That’s how they are and over time you’ll learn to ignore it. Just try to control your thoughts and focus, trust me, I know it’s hard but you can do it.
I am a mother to a year old boy… who is newly transformed toddler … trying all his new tactics every day… so you know how it is… I live with him and my husband…My husband is usually busy at work so mostly I manage household and the baby…
Reading all your posts/replies … I am feeling scared … can i even dream to complete my syllabus for level 1?
BTW… Sumz. I totally empathise your situation and I know its difficult… I have lived with in-laws in past for sometime…
But I can’t advice you much because I am level 1 candidate… and You are level 3 … I am sure you are much more strong and dedicated to handle the situation…
Not sure if after all these comments if she is reading this thread but let me also chip in.
(1) Think of a scenario when you protest.
You will surely be able to read less than you would on normal days. Because you’d be busy arguing with her, justifying yourself to your husband. And even if you are right and your husband even knows that, it will be hard for him to see the consequences and you will spoil yours and his time.
Better take her comments as she mentions and do as she says… Who knows, she might grow out of her comments and starts to understand you.
(2) If you have trouble sleeping at night, I would suggest you buy audio books (Elans have and I read somewhere on this forum that Schweser has it too).
Just listen to the audio with headphones when you go to sleep at night and try to focus on what it says…the key is to focus on it… you’ll forget what happened during the day.
You will learn a thing or two and in no time you’ll fall asleep.
Ofcourse hoping your husband is supportive and lets you buy the material.
Thanks for the advices everyone. I have got a great response.
So, what is helping me lately is that my husband is picking up on his studies. So I get to study with no distractions during that time too. But I still need to double my efforts. Usually, I study a bit in the afternoon and a bit in the evening when husband is home. Still just getting 2-3 hours done and not even on daily basis. I am trying to push myself to study at least an hour in the morning before nap time. Audio books sounds like a good idea. I will check it out.
MIL had been calm past few days. I just hope it stays that way. I am also thinking of hiring a maid who can come daily or at least every other day for few hours to handle chores. I want zero distractions by the time May comes!
Women are constantly patting themselves on the back for how difficult their lives are and no one corrects them because they want to fuck them. - The great Bill Burr
Congrats Sumz. But I am quite disappointed that you never told me you got married. I could have given you some pointers given that my wife is a level 3 candidate.
