ChickenTikka Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I disagree, IMHO: > > Women worth dating get their stuff sorted out by > age 24 and are in long term relationships by then. > If they are not in one then there is probably > something wrong with them and they are not the > type of women you want to get in a LT relationship > with. With all due respect, I totally disagree. She might have been busy with her studies and career in her early twenties. Plus, maybe she ended up having bad luck with guys. Or she simply had other problems in life, which didn’t give her ample time to date guys. It is always better to keep mind free from stereotypes and generalisations. Maybe those exceptional cases turn out to be fruitful for someone.
How can someone have bad luck with guys? Look at the fine specimens here on AF? Gentlemanly, polite, unassuming, and unselfish. Interested in having a genuine fulfilling relationship. Those kinds of guys are just throwing themselves at young hot women, and a woman really has to be anti-men to avoid a prince charming from falling into her orbit and making her ridiculously happy.
^ This man speaks the truth.
bchadwick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How can someone have bad luck with guys? Look at > the fine specimens here on AF? Gentlemanly, > polite, unassuming, and unselfish. Interested in > having a genuine fulfilling relationship. Those > kinds of guys are just throwing themselves at > young hot women, and a woman really has to be > anti-men to avoid a prince charming from falling > into her orbit and making her ridiculously happy. It’s tough because being “gentlemanly, polite, unassuming and unselfish” will basically get you no where from 13-23. Girls don’t want a guy who is great they usually want someone cool (full of themself) who is not going to do much in life or treat them well - think back to HS. It’s almost sad to think about. Basically you work hard your whole life to get a good career, be honest, thoughtful and get little reward early in life. One day when you’re a complete package one of these girls will ‘grow up’ and marry you. Almost seems like usury. So, do nice guys really finish last? They are definitely getting their reward much later in life.
lxwarr30 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > bchadwick Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > How can someone have bad luck with guys? Look > at > > the fine specimens here on AF? Gentlemanly, > > polite, unassuming, and unselfish. Interested > in > > having a genuine fulfilling relationship. Those > > kinds of guys are just throwing themselves at > > young hot women, and a woman really has to be > > anti-men to avoid a prince charming from > falling > > into her orbit and making her ridiculously > happy. > > > It’s tough because being “gentlemanly, polite, > unassuming and unselfish” will basically get you > no where from 13-23. Girls don’t want a guy who is > great they usually want someone cool (full of > themself) who is not going to do much in life or > treat them well - think back to HS. It’s almost > sad to think about. Basically you work hard your > whole life to get a good career, be honest, > thoughtful and get little reward early in life. > One day when you’re a complete package one of > these girls will ‘grow up’ and marry you. Almost > seems like usury. So, do nice guys really finish > last? They are definitely getting their reward > much later in life. Agree. But I’d say being accomplished can be a turn-on for chicks in that age range. But, you gotta have some confidence and honestly you have to be fun to hang around.
wow so not true. my friend is a nice guy (open doors, close to his mom, polite, etc), 6’3, body of a swimmer, REALLY good looking, and when we go out girls hit on him non-stop. They dance in front of him while, go up and start talking to him, and makes eye contact. He ignores them because he got a LT gf. He basically had to do zero work with girls ever since he hit puberty. Looks > everything else
BiPolarBoyBoston Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > wow so not true. > > my friend is a nice guy (open doors, close to his > mom, polite, etc), 6’3, body of a swimmer, REALLY > good looking, and when we go out girls hit on him > non-stop. They dance in front of him while, go up > and start talking to him, and makes eye contact. > He ignores them because he got a LT gf. > > He basically had to do zero work with girls ever > since he hit puberty. > > Looks > everything else Obviously if you’re really good looking tall guy women are going to want you. You’re not really making a point here except that you think your friend is hot. The fact your friend is polite is just an ‘add-on’ to these women though, not what attracted them. This is an atypical situation and doesn’t apply to the discussion. I was trying to get the point across that being “gentlemanly, polite, unassuming and unselfish” and you actually confirmed it by making a bigger deal of his looks than attitude.
Completely moot discussion. Whether you’re an a-hole or an angel you are going to need to be genuine to get girls (and probably to have an enjoyable life). I mean, try changing your personality for a while…I’d argue it’s actually easier to change your looks.
I’ll agree that women don’t necessarily prioritize finding decent guys they can have a real relationship with at that age, and that’s probably not what they want at that age. More likely, they’re just wanting to accumulate “experiences” (as are guys) and have some fun emotions, which can include the roller coaster ride. All I was trying to say is that a woman that hasn’t found a nice stable guy they want to settle down with by 24 is hardly “damaged goods.”
I think it’s a tragedy that there’s so much talk here about what people think girls want (stereotypes and gross generalizations included) yet there aren’t any women commenting on this thread. Also, regarding the following: “Gentlemanly, polite, unassuming, and unselfish. Interested in having a genuine fulfilling relationship. Those kinds of guys are just throwing themselves at young hot women, and a woman really has to be anti-men to avoid a prince charming from falling into her orbit and making her ridiculously happy.” It’s because most girls, either knowingly or unknowingly, don’t want guys that are going to throw themselves at young women! That’s the whole point. Plus, I think while people respect all the qualities mentioned above, none of those things present a challenge to women. In the same way that guys tend to be less serious about girls that sleep with them after the first date, girls don’t want some guy that’s going to kiss their a$$ all the time. Now, I realize this is generalizing and I’m sure there are lots of respectful guys that get girls, but if you can just get your mojo together and make girls want to chase you (instead of your chasing them), your hit rate goes up in a major way. Also, I know people talk about things that girls value such as ivy league degrees, good jobs, etc. – and I have no doubt this stuff gets attention from girls – but you don’t need this stuff to get attenetion from chicks. Personally, I rarely talk about work within the first 15-20 minutes of a conversation with a person I’ve just met, because (1) it’s more interesting and unique to most people to talk about stuff that isn’t typical “resume building” stuff, and (2) letting girls know what I do for a living off the bat often attracts the wrong type of girl for me. I’ve seen unemployed dudes and “starving artists” haul more chicks than Wall Street bankers, and I think people talked about this on the internet dating thread too. It’s all in how you carry yourself.
Numi, I think you took my post too literally. In case you missed it, here was the thread logic I was responding to. CT: “Girls who aren’t in a settled relationship by 24 clearly have something wrong with them.” BC: “Yeah, look at all the fine prospects they have to choose from. Who could go wrong with that set of choices, unless there’s clearly something bonkers about them?” (there was at least a hint of sarcasm there) Numi: “You guys are stereotyping ‘girls.’ ‘Girls’ don’t like this or that.”
OK, evidently I missed the sarcasm as others did. Also agree that I’m as prone to generalizing as others. I’m sort of OK with that though because otherwise there wouldn’t be enough controversy on this thread.
ChickenTikka Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I disagree, IMHO: > > Women worth dating get their stuff sorted out by > age 24 and are in long term relationships by then. > If they are not in one then there is probably > something wrong with them and they are not the > type of women you want to get in a LT relationship > with. > > The perfect age to date a women is in her early > 20’s. You need to decide if you are serious about > her by the time she’s 24 otherwise you are wasting > her time which is an ethics violation. > > Give it a go. It probably won’t work, but that is > not the worst thing that can happen. > > Sometimes nice girls get in relationships that > don’t go anywhere, and end up single in their mid > and late 20’s but quality girls that aren’t insane > don’t generally stay single for very long. So you > don’t see that often. There are always single women of all ages any day of the week. Good ones, bad ones, inbetween ones. Only thing you need to focus on is playing what is in front of you. If you like the look of the girl in front of you, that really is it. If you can get a few that you like the look of, while you are still young and able, all the better.
How long are we considered “young and able”? I’m in my mid to late 20’s now and I can’t see myself really thinking about settling down for real till I’m at least 32. Maybe I haven’t met the right person yet, but I feel like I’m just now hitting my stride both personally and professionally and I want to ride out the tidal wave of fun while I can. Would appreciate perspectives especially from folks that are already hitched.
numi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How long are we considered “young and able”? I’m > in my mid to late 20’s now and I can’t see myself > really thinking about settling down for real till > I’m at least 32. Maybe I haven’t met the right > person yet, but I feel like I’m just now hitting > my stride both personally and professionally and I > want to ride out the tidal wave of fun while I > can. > > Would appreciate perspectives especially from > folks that are already hitched. It should be illegal for anyone to get married in their twenties. That being said, this is coming from someone who is in his early thirties and has been happily married for 10 years.
numi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How long are we considered “young and able”? I’m > in my mid to late 20’s now and I can’t see myself > really thinking about settling down for real till > I’m at least 32. Maybe I haven’t met the right > person yet, but I feel like I’m just now hitting > my stride both personally and professionally and I > want to ride out the tidal wave of fun while I > can. > > Would appreciate perspectives especially from > folks that are already hitched. It sounds nice to have a plan like “I’m going to wait till 32.” But non of your professional accomplishments are going to matter if you miss opportunitities waiting for an arbitrary number. I think 28-33 is a good age to get married. You should have your life in order, not in perfectly labeled boxes. Leap.
I think it just really depends. I was engaged and ended up breaking it off when I was around 27 because our lives just kind of moved in different directions, i.e. she did not have her life in order when we started the relationship and things changed. It’s amazing how what can seem like a great relationship can break down under the stress of two different peoples priorities. Marriage often means compromise is what I take away from it, but what do I know?
lxwarr30 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It sounds nice to have a plan like “I’m going to > wait till 32.” But non of your professional > accomplishments are going to matter if you miss > opportunitities waiting for an arbitrary number. I > think 28-33 is a good age to get married. You > should have your life in order, not in perfectly > labeled boxes. Leap. I think I’ve found a lot of “opportunities” so far, some less serious than others (I’m not always looking for commitment). I just feel like there are a lot of things I’d like to accomplish individually first, but you’re right, I also think I’m at the point where I know what “my type” was and if I found her, I’d be OK with a more meaningful commitment
Ughh all this marriage talk is a total buzz kill. Lets get back to just chasing tail.
ok. lemme try to speak from a girl’s perspective: In early 20s, most girls like to have fun especially if they are career oriented. Guy’s with good looks, charming personality and those who talk smoothly have no trouble in mixing with these girls. And if theguy has a good heart like many of AFers here then there are LT chances as well. It depends on chemistry b/w two. @TransferpricingCFA: drop her a line something like “i had a great time with u. let me know when u back in town…like to see u again” numi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think it’s a tragedy that there’s so much talk > here about what people think girls want > (stereotypes and gross generalizations included) > yet there aren’t any women commenting on this > thread.