Dude, where's my thread?

The one about being 23 and not being with a woman. There was some good advice in there and I don’t think I got finished reading all of it! It didn’t violate the TOS, did it?

Have you checked the “Hook Up” board? Maybe the site administrator moved it there to it’s more natural home… ;o)

Nah, not there. I tried doing a search but nothing came up. IS there a way to see your own forum posts? I don’t even know if this forum has that tool. I think the thread was just deleted >_

Pity, because I gave you some awesome advice.

Here’s the brief version of mine: 1) Take dance classes - salsa or swing. 2) Look women in the eye. Especially when you talk to them and touch them. Practice on the street (the looking part; it’s called flirtation). 3) Get them to talk about how they feel about things. Ask them for an opinion on something, then find out why she feels that way (you’re looking for the emotional driver, not the logic driver; men tend to tease apart the logic, but that doesn’t make a woman feel “understood.”). 4) Don’t be afraid to let them know you’re interested, and that you think they’re pretty, but be a gentleman about it. Save “you’re sexy/you’re hot” for after she knows you a little bit, like a second outing, because it’s great to hear from someone you know and like. If she doesn’t know you, it just sounds like a line. 5) Younger women often want to rack up experiences more than have a relationship (men too). So if you subtly offer that to them, they may be more interested. It also explains why they can be a bit flighty. 6) Women’s lives are often dominated by competing with other women; even more so than men’s lives. Anything that you can do that makes them look or feel good in front of other women makes them want to do more with you. 7) Women’s tastes differ, but most seem to like men who are masculine, but attentive/sensitive/vulnerable to them specifically. So keep up the lifting. Be attentive (but don’t become a doormat!). 8) Remember that they want to be wooed. They just want to feel that they are being wooed by someone they can be proud of: looks, intelligence, talent, sense of humor, ambition, connections, money, a cool accent - many possible things - work with what you’ve got. That turned out not to be so brief. Yeah, human beings can be complex.

My advice was to get your friends to set you up. They or there girlfriends likely know girls who are desperate and lonely like you.

We live in a society where extroverted, alpha, assertive, “go getting”, edgy men are rewarded. You know how a man is turned off by an obese woman. Well, the male version of the obese woman is a man that is shy, introverted, overly accommodative, nice with no backbone. The majority of women find those traits unattractive. I believe you can group men in 3 categories (I’m oversimplifying): 1) The overly nice, shy guy with no backbone 2) The obnoxious cocky jerk 3) The confident, suave, classy, interesting, with a great sense of humor guy The goal is to be 3), but so few men are in that category. Between first 2, your odds are better at attracting a chick if you’re 2). Many women confuse cockiness for confidence (especially younger ones in your age group) and find these men more masculine. Don’t ever be 1), because that’s the bottom of the barrel. Most of the “30 year old” virgins are in that category.

I’m no expert in this department, and compared to others on this forum, I’m merely a Level I candidate. But one thing helps is having a solid group of friends, both male and female. Are you a loner who has many casual acquaintances without having any close friends? If so, that’s a good place to start. I feel that is the case, otherwise you wouldn’t be bringing this problem to an online forum, you could have gotten enough feedback from your mates.

Fortunately, I do know how to dance. I took lessons for 2 years in college because there was a club I was in. Needless to say, I’m pretty damn good at it. I don’t have a large network of friends. Everyone has moved on and I’m one of the few who still lives in my hometown. THat said, I do make an effort to meet up with them when they’re in the area. Unfortunately, it’s all guys. Former trader, that’s an interesting breakdown. I’m not “out there” enough to attribute any position out of those 3. My idea of niceness might just mean friendliness and not being a doucher. There were times when I felt that I was in#3 though, so maybe I DO have some of that in me. Not all hope is lost.

well if all else fails rape is definitely an option… just be prepared to get locked up if you get caught

And, worst joke of the year goes to…0Bonus.

Oh, ZeroBonus, you so crazy… (backs away slowly)

brain_wash_your_face Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And, worst joke of the year goes > to…0Bonus. well a bigger joke is a guy asking for girl advice on a CFA forum… I rest my case

First and foremost it depends on where you’re going. If you’re going to the wrong places you’re going to have a harder time. Go somewhere that you can use your strong points. If you can dance, go to a place to dance. If you can talk well, go to a place to talk. Ok, now you’re in your “spot.” Best option is always have people with you. Everyone will say have hot girls, and sure, it’s a plus, but even a decent friend or two (NOT 10). You have to be social enough to offer them something. Your friends are one of the quickest ways she’s going to get an understanding of who you are. No one can really teach you conversation or flirting, it’s really just a matter of experience. Just put yourself in the right situation and you’ll get the chance to score. Do not treat this girl like she’s the only one you’re interested in, just have fun, talk to her, have her meet your friends, get a drink, dance, she’s going to do the leg work from there if she’s interested. Don’t feed her drinks or talk exclusively to her. Remember, you’re there to have fun too and she isn’t the highlight of your night, but make sure she feels welcomed enough to stay and hang out.

ZeroBonus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > well if all else fails rape is definitely an > option… just be prepared to get locked up if you > get caught just when you thought 0bonus couldnt outdo himself…

connor, youre my hero brah

It’s fun to dance, but I recommended dance classes because they can create a base of core women friends that you know and can go out with socially. It sounds like you dont have that. One you have that base, you can start to reach out to others, who will see that you have women friends and thus trust you a little more. Also, if you are shy about physical contact with women, dancing is a good antidote for that. I used to have a joke which was funny - as most are - because there is an element of truth to it. Where do you go to meet women? Pick up an issue of Cosmopolitan, or Glamour, or whatever women’s magazine suits your taste, look for the articles on “where to meet men.” Then go there!! It doesn’t matter if the article is actually right or not; that’s where a bunch of women will go to find you. So be there!

bchadwick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Where do you go to meet women? Pick up an issue > of Cosmopolitan, or Glamour, or whatever women’s > magazine suits your taste, look for the articles > on “where to meet men.” Then go there!! It > doesn’t matter if the article is actually right or > not; that’s where a bunch of women will go to find > you. So be there! Haha, just don’t tell them the real reason why you picked that location.

Put it in the butt.

bchadwick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It’s fun to dance, but I recommended dance classes > because they can create a base of core women > friends that you know and can go out with > socially. It sounds like you dont have that. One > you have that base, you can start to reach out to > others, who will see that you have women friends > and thus trust you a little more. > > Also, if you are shy about physical contact with > women, dancing is a good antidote for that. > > > I used to have a joke which was funny - as most > are - because there is an element of truth to it. > Where do you go to meet women? Pick up an issue > of Cosmopolitan, or Glamour, or whatever women’s > magazine suits your taste, look for the articles > on “where to meet men.” Then go there!! It > doesn’t matter if the article is actually right or > not; that’s where a bunch of women will go to find > you. So be there! I took dance classes in college and the majority of its members were women. I got used to touching them, but then again, it was a clean enivornment.