Won’t be doing brunch. Aiming to go hiking instead. I suppose it’s “platonic hiking.” Sorry bchad, that double date idea sounds like a disaster.
I think I’m in a different place than most of you young bucks. As mentioned higher in the thread, I’m divorced, with a child, in my early 40s. Coming out of the divorce, I’ve tried to be more generous in connecting with other people. I’m trying to be a better person. I have not always been that way. So, I don’t see any downside to being friends with her, if that’s where it ends up. I’ll find romance somewhere, no question about that. But I feel this person could be an excellent friend, and I think that would be good for me. We all have our own road to walk.
I like this idea. Go on a “platonic” hiking trip in a remote location. Then inexplicably, you lose the backpack containing your map and cellphones. What a twist! The two of you are now stranded in the wilderness together. Not only that, but you mistakenly packed a bottle of champagne instead of water. Looks like it has started to rain - but I thought you checked the weather forecast beforehand. It might be a while before you get rescued. Better take off those clothes so that you can dry them and not freeze as it gets dark. I see you have thought this through thoroughly. Well done.
From my perspective as a female, she is interested in getting to know more about you as well as she has additionally sent you a message trying to fix the date for the hangout. Normally if female don’t have a special feeling for a guy they won’t do it, even if they’ve been dancers for quite a long time, and it’s okay she was firstly hesitating a bit cause female normally don’t want to show others they are needy especially when they already have a guy there. If she’s very happy with the guy already she would not want to give this a chance cause she must have felt what you’ve felt due to that she’s female and more sensitive. I think being available for a meetup is affirmative and is the prerequisite for all other things possible, and you will know more if you wanna give yourselves a shot!
But I will disagree that just because she’s female, she’s more sensitive. I’ve come across women with the emotional aptitude of peanut butter. On the male spectrum, I’m pretty emotionally sensitive myself. By the standards of the men on AF…
The platonic hike on Saturday went as well as I could have reasonably hoped. Nearly three hours of comfortable, fluid conversation that ranged across many topics. We’d never gotten a chance to talk so extensively and it was quite easy. She suggested taking a pic of the two of us (a two-fie?) at a particularly scenic spot, but being conversational and taking pics is not out of character for her. She didn’t talk about the guy she’s seeing at all, except by allusion at the very end, when I mentioned that I wouldn’t be able to make the usual Sunday night dance (because I had my kid), and she replied that she was probably going to a non-dance event anyway (the kind of event she’d never go to without a man). But it was clear we both had a good time, and in fact in a text later in the day she described it as a “great walk.”
I didn’t text her at all yesterday, to give her some space and time, but sent a friendly text this morning. Took her nine minutes to reply.
Here’s the easy part. Several dance events are scheduled later in the week, and I will have plenty of opportunity to interact with her, both verbally and in movement. I’ll see what the vibe is like and go from there.
BTW, it totally cracks me up that I’m talking about my dating life on a financial analyst forum, of all places. I do this because my male friends are useless sounding boards when it comes to dating; they had no game even before they got married. I have a female friend who I run a lot of things by too. But writing all this is rather cathartic and I’m too old to give a toss, really.
Just don’t get too comfortable during the dancing events. You want to lull her into making the first move, or wait for the thing with the guy she’s seeing to end. Pushing the limit too soon could cause her to suddenly bring up the draw bridge.
^ Sounds good! Hopefully you manage to displace the guy at some point soon. My rather elementary understanding of women is that I don’t think she’d go hiking with you and without her guy if she didn’t think about the possibility of dating you actually being real.
I saw a new girl this weekend a couple times and seems to be progressing on the right track.
Women are like kittens. You are the play toy. What happens when a kitten catches the toy? The kitten becomes bored very quickly and wants a new toy.
This chick knows she has you. If you want a chance to pique her interest you should be pleasant next time you see her, but kind of avoid her. This will drive the kitten crazy. Your the toy she doesn’t have anymore. Does he have a new girl? Does he think I’m not marvelous anymore?
This is the only chance you have to get this chick interested in you. Entice the kitten with the toy but never let the kitten catch the toy.
Yep. I think that’s the way to play it, to not push things more at this moment. In fact, there are probably too many dance events this week. Might have five consecutive nights of events scheduled from Wed-Sun.
I’ll stick to the usual with her - warm and friendly, and fun and a little bit naughty on the dance floor. Dance with her maybe four songs per night. This would all be typical for us. She has a few female friends who I don’t know well. (Women who are either taken or not people I’d be attracted to.) Plus some male friends who aren’t a threat. I think I might make a point of talking to these people a bit, getting to know them better and letting them know more about me, instead of pushing things so much with Dance Girl. Influence the influencers, and all that. And hey, they can be my friends too.
So Dance Girl and I met up at a secondary venue last night for dancing. Good time, a few other friends there, and the vibe with her was fine, but nothing struck me as particularly good or bad. But afterwards, she got in touch with me to invite me to a concert tonight, which would mean we couldn’t go to one of our primary dance nights (always on Thursday). Yes, I’m joining her for the concert and skipping dancing.
However, she’s going to another concert on Saturday, and I’m not sure who with. Still, even the pessimist in me hears opportunity knocking. I’ll be myself, which is all I can do, and see how we connect. If it’s good, we’ll see what happens.
She’s also an option, and as long as she’s willing, so is Frisian. It doesn’t sound like that bad of a deal. (I would agree with you if she was using him for money or self-conceit, or intentionally blue-balling him. But that doesn’t sound like the case.)