I see nothing ironic in that. So in a related instance, you’re saying we should refrain from judging racist behavior? Talk about the height of political correct bullsh*t.
Hmm. FT, I think the classic song “Look Away” by Chicago pretty much sums up what you and your co-worker are feeling now. Perhaps you should send him this video via work-email and you will both feel better. He’ll appreciate it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmYEQHRHOCY
_"But if you see me walking by, And the tears are in my eyes, Look away, baby, look away. If we meet on the streets someday, And I don’t know what to say, Look away, baby, look away. Don’t look at me; I don’t want you to see me this way." _
So what was the final resolution? How are things today?
canada strip clubs are good, in montreal at least.
I stil owe a stripper 5 bucks, but, I’m going to get that to her at some point…
still confused about the gay bar thing…
He left for another company shortly after, so I never had a chance to talk to him. Not sure if the events above occured during his 2 week notice.
No Homo
There is no way this happened. Five star troll though.
Dear Former Trader,
Here’s my perspective.
His sexual orientation is of nobody’s business, except for him and his partners. i don’t think you need to confront him on that note because 1) clearly he is not comfortable talking about it (he would have came out if he is gay, or acted normal if he isn’t), 2) you would appear nosy and unprofessional.
What you can do is to talk to him normally and see if he is willing to engage in a regular “water cooler” conversation. If he is deliberately avoiding you, and you think this is going to affect your job, THEN it is okay to confront him on this ground.
I hope everything clears up eventually.
Best of luck,
NANA
^ I disagree, if you’re gay it’s your duty be “faulous” and absolutely flaming. That’s how we want our gays.
So many things wrong… Your comment is phrased as if he’s not out at work he isn’t comfortable talking about it. From the situation the OP described he’s probably not comfortable talking about it with someone who uses gay bars as a forum to get drunk, gawk at those there for fun and proceed to insult them. I’m not really sure you meant he would of acted normal if he wasn’t gay, but sounds a little homophobic. I don’t know how you could expect someone to continue a relationship as it once was without some reconciliation after the described event.
I think what i meant was, if he wasn’t gay, and he was seen at the gar bar, he wouldn’t be as “uneasy” being caught (IMHO). Let’s say if a colleague of mine saw me at a lesbian bar, i wouldn’t be too uncomfortable, given the right timing, i may suggest that i am not in fact a lesbian, or i may not, because i don’t really care how people see me and being a lesbian is not a sore point for me… because i’m not.
So if he is in fact gay and he is not out in the office, this explains his behaviours, and if you confront him about it in the office he will probably be more uncomfortable. I don’t necessarily think one has the right to “confirm” people’s sexual orientation, as long as he does his job and he is not affect your work performance than you should just leave him alone (regardless of his sexual orientation).
Perhaps the allegedly gay coworker is angry with someone who uses gay bars to get drunk, there isn’t really anything you can do about it because that’s his personal opinion and that is not work-related anyway. Of course, as i also mentioned, if his behaviour is indeed affecting the workflow then it would be appropriate to talk to him about it.
As a follow up to some of the people that were like “woah straight people going to gay bars, weird.”
My brother has a good friend that’s gay, and whenever they used to go out, every now and again the group of friends would go to the gay bar with him. He has said that, contrary to popular belief, it’s actually an awesome place to pick up women. Says that the women go there with their gay friends for a night out, their ‘guard’ is let down, assuming that they are not going to be hit on, because they’re at the gay bar. Then BOOM, it’s over before it even began. Or maybe it’s an ego thing, and they think “wow, I must be so hot, that I’m turning this gay guy back straight!” Either way is a win
I know plenty of straight guy friends go to gay bars (not all the time but somewhat regularly) and there’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s like saying gay people should not go to “straight bars”… it’s 2013, homophobia is like polio - most kids these days got the vaccine in the civilizied world.
Even talking about gay vs straight behaviours is so old-school.