I'm so picky

You know, I think a lot of the times when people say things like “I’m brutally honest,” what they’re really just saying is that they’re a dick. In a similar way, I think you think you’re “not sugar coating,” but you really just wanna be a hyper critical dick. So forgive me or not for saying so but I’m not going to take your input seriously because of the consistency of the negativity of it.

The ego always wants to blame external factors. But when we see a common response from those we attempt to help, we should realize that perhaps we haven’t figured out everything either and have room to improve. But alas, the ego wants to put it on others and use it to prove how great the ego really is compared to the others.

Definitely agree that getting married is for having kids. Why else would you need a contract involved when both of you should be on equal footing? Also, Turd might be crazy a bit but he seems to understand how it works.

I want to settle down, but i genuinely love the chase, like i get a high from it, plus I have options. And literally yesterday, this hot rich chick that ghosted me for 2 mos hit me up to set up a date for next week. Literally she messaged me while I was on a date with this hot 27 yo catholic mestiza chick. I responded during the date. Haha. Now that sounds bad, but I literally spent the whole day with her. Beach, food, Netflix and chill, then met up with her at the club at night.

anyways will I ever get married? I want to, but I also get bored easy so I like to go out. When I go out I drink, and when I drink, I just lose control. My friends joke that if I ever settle down, that girl better be prepared on getting constantly cheated on. Honestly, right now they are prolly right. but you never know until you try, amirite6? Haha

yep!

But I also see nothing wrong with having this attitude for “sport”. I just think guys get confused because society norms say the ultimate goal is to settle down with “the one”. But developing a loving bond with someone and deciding to spend your life with them is a completely different universe than dating for sport. Both are what they are. Pick ONE game and enjoy it. Who says one is better than the other.? I don’t believe one will inatetely make you more “happy” that the other. Both lifestyles can be done with grace and fullfillment.

no KMD, no… bad girl

You’ll understand one day… when you are older… *sigh*

no I don’t think I will, because I would never marry someone for my ego

My point is, you don’t know you are doing it. I could be wrong… but takes one to know one. When I dated (with intentions to have relationships) I used to be attracted to men who had qualities I coveted for myself. I think my ego literally thought that if this dude was into me, then I magically endowed those qualities or something. no, love is way more banal than that… but banality can be beautiful I hear :wink:

rofl yea i have a buddy who goes out with a chick for his ego. lol. the chick is real fat. he flat out told us. me and friends are brutally honest. lol.

birdman, i actually prefer people to be brutually honest even if they are being dicks. it makes me think about hte situation and try to understand another’s pov. end of the day though, i degaf and do what i want.

Well, thats what pre-marital counseling is for, which is required in my church for a sacramental marriage, a minimum of six months prior to marriage.

I agree that honesty is a good thing. I do see some element of truth in what he is getting at, but I find him to be a dick so I just don’t want to interact with that sort of energy/give that sort of person the satisfaction.

I do think that checklists of attributes are not sufficient as means of identifying a compatible person, and that they may be limiting, and that you may miss some good targets by having the checklists, and that you could be overly critical of other people by judging them based off of those checklists (either presently or in the future, if you were to meet someone who for instance met all your desired attributes presently, if they were to change). I also think that there are a lot of headstrong people in finance, particularly amongst those who are drawn to the investing and research side.

I feel that I’m able to be somewhat picky though. I’ve been able to implement my strategy, and I’ve gotten several dates with girls who I have considered acceptable recently. For one reason or another they didn’t go to the point of a relationship but I’m not going to give up on this strategy so quickly, given that I have been able to see results from it, and given that I realize that the checklist is just a baseline, and that if a relationship were to evolve, that there would need to be compromise and give and take at that point.

KMD made the most important point. Be honest with yourself, and match your actions with your intentions.

no one said anything about checklists except CW

lol you are so full of fucking shit or you’ve inhaled enough crappy cocaine your brain has become addled. i remember you saying there was a ‘perfect’ girl who was above your arbitrarily chosen age range or whatever.

sounds like a checklist or ego validation whatever. my boy turd laying down the truth like a champion.

yeah thats a swimmingly good attitude to go into marriage i hear. guaranteed to last close to three decades with that approach. never fails to amaze me how completely fucked and weird relationship dynamics have become in the western world

where is BS when you need him? I can just imagine him going on a rant and telling everyone theyre going to be crying in a bar at 50 wondering where it all went wrong.

Yeah because I want children. I don’t see that as a checklist, more of a prerequisite.

How is that at all related to ego?

Everyone has age ranges. You can admit it or not.

33 year old women cant have children?

Im mainly going for mid to late 20s, but if I met ‘the one’ and she was 33, ok then

Yeah I contacted her yesterday. I might visit her in SF. She’s 35, so its not like I have hard rules.

She just quit her high flying corporate governance lawyer job to become a florist. I don’t know what is up with that.