Obviously, humans are “social” animals and I have no doubts about the interdependence people have for practical needs such as good/ services, protection, knowledge sharing, and I guess sexual needs for you other people (lol) What I am curious about is the the depth of emotional need for one another. Not counting the emotional needs of children from caretakers, is there really such a thing as emotional loneliness? …or really is there just poor sense of self worth that exhibits itself in the absence of others and is mistakenly labeled loneliness?
I think this is an interesting question because it changes the way one approaches someone suffering from “loneliness”. It would mean building independent self worth would be the primary goal rather than the external goal of being more “likable”. I was wondering what you all think.
I think some evil minded AF members prolly financed by Soros or Clinton foundation is running a scheme to down vote our beloved Turd.
Turd please keep doing what you do best and ignore everyone calling you a clown. They’re just jealous of your hot wife and sane mind. Please keep posting.
Some of my most painful personal memories are of people in my life that were “lonely” and reached out to me for companionship. One was a boyfriend I had in my early 30s who I ended things after about a month and one was a regular customer at work I attempted a friendship with. Both of these people did not have many friends or much of a social life. They suffered from their solitude. I disliked both of these men but attempted to fake a friendship with both of them because it felt like it was the least I could do… after I had dumped the 1st and, frankly, made so much money off the 2nd… that I “owed” it to them.
Both times it was a disaster. Relationships between people that are not symbiotic never work out. I ended up resenting both. They wanted to offer me much but I did not want anything from them. For me to continue being a friend felt like paying for something I did not want. You cannot be the friend to someone you resent…end of story. When I abandoned them, I ended up hurting them even worse than I would have in the first place. I hate myself for it even though I know there was no way to have continued on that way.
At the root of both of these cases was he belief that they were suffering from loneliness and that I could fix it by providing companionship. I want to believe I was wrong and that these individuals had the greatest power within themselves to be well. To think of all the lonely people out there that are not liked and what if their sadness does not have to be contingent on other people! Having people pretend to include them and value them is not helping. Like in my example it makes it worse. The distinction is important.
Wow, AF has a voting system now? Let’s do some group-think postmodernist finance! If you “feels it’s true” it is!
No, the need is definitely rooted way down deep in genetics, as everything species’ do is.
Over time the more social individuals succeeded (because of practical needs you listed above), and bred more, and now the species is like that genetically…except for rare individuals who are not born with that social need.
I believe it’s real but can understand why some people may believe it’s not, similar to how some people have certain phobias and some don’t. In other words just because you’re not afraid of something, it doesn’t mean someone else isn’t.
On the topic of loneliness, you mention that children have emotional needs. I think the experienced one has between then and as life goes on, and possibly genetics too, and how one handles that can influence if someone feels lonely or not.
It’s not all bad though, some people use that state to focus on themselves, make money, get in shape, ect some lonely people are just out of balance and take too far.
lol. was chilling with the crew yesterday after ball. since bitcoin was feeling lonelty and depressed, he just needs to get his mind off his girl. we were just watching shit on youtube and just judging hot chicks. its was kind of fun. he bought us some mcd.
i am far from the word lonely cuz i am a pretty social dude, but i dont mind the solitude. when i am lonely, i set up a routine that pretty much eats that free time. whether its basketball, running, or going out, i am always doing something. the people who generally dont know me think im a pretty cool fun active dude and many actually look up to me. over time as people get to know my philsophy, their opinion of me generally drops.
emotionally i think i am lonely though. i have very few close friends who i open up to and thats generally cuz i know people will come to hate me. most of my friends are like minded individuals or aspiring to be so. my core family think im a cold calculating self serving bastard where everything is a transaction. my gf is the only 1 who thinks that deep down i have a good heart, and i do sort of. basically if its convenient i will do the right thing.
anyways the main positive in all this is i am easily forgiven for my actions. people essentially expect the worst from me. the main negative, its rough when everyone that you are close to think ur a pos. having said all this though, i dont really care what people think. before i do anything, i ask myself what will make me happy in the long term. this pretty much sums up my philosophy:
I would argue I enjoyed it because it provided me with external validation… a cheap short cut to finding my own self worth.
Well that, and knowledge sharing which is not an emotional need but enjoyable none the less. Like I said, I don’t question needing people… I just question needing them for emotional wellbeing.
lol i said the same exact thing. i aws like bro why do you need the pussy so bad. whats wrong with your right hand? (to be fair he claimed to have sex 10 to 14x a week. wtf!!!) real talk, how often do you guys bang when in relationship? af go
tbh the dude was in love. i mean he proposed for a reason. i like to imagine that hes a cold hearted bastard like myself. but he just isnt. some people are just emotional wrecks.
I agree with this. I suppose the innate drive to satisfy these practical needs could manifest itself “emotionally” if met or not met. I can see why rawraw and turd, under this perspective, would call it fruitless to hash out emotional need from the rest.
I think I made a mistake in expressing what I meant by my original question. I think what really interest me is hashing out the difference between the practical need people have for each other and the unhealthy false need we have for each other.
My personal obsession is with needing people for external validation when you can harvest your own self worth. I was extrapolating that emotionally lonely people simply did not know this. I am starting to see this is a generalization biased by my own point of view. Lack of any one of the “practical needs” people have for each other could create the same emotional loneliness, I suppose. I could also be wrong…maybe self worth DOES require validation by others on some level.
I do find the whole topic interesting though… why people form relationship (or not) and how much of it is beneficial to the subjects (or not)
practical need = release of oxytocin, by fostering relationships with those you love and trust false need = probably on darwins chart - we don’t reallyyyy need some of these
