I disagree. In fact, the more successful the woman, the less flexibility they have in dating. This is because women are rarely willing to marry a man who does not make as much money or is not as well educated as themselves. One widely documented example is that successful black women have difficulty marrying black men, as black women are more likely to pursue higher education. This problem does not exist for men, as men generally do not care about women’s earnings in dating.
^ I agree. Women may well have this new flexibility in theory but in my experience they still very much prefer a partner that is socially equal or in a higher standing. In my circle of friends I could not think of a single example where a woman dated/married “down” whereas I know several guys in finance who are dating waitresses/nurses/secretaries. This may change over time but I don’t see any signs of it yet.
Disagree. Big b00bs, nice @ss, and a pretty face compensate for a lot of other shortcomings.
Well, to be fair you probably don’t know exactly what everyone makes, although maybe it is more clearly stratified in Switzerland? To be honest, I don’t know anybody that is a six figure professional or greater that married a waitress. I know one guy that cheated with his secretary (who was also married) broke up both their marriages and got fired. They are living together now, so maybe that counts. Generally, guys will get with a waitress or bartender, but marry? Haven’t really seen it. Teachers and nurses in the states are a professional class, IMO.
Yeah, pretty much everyone wants to marry “up” in looks, money and smarts. Just need to take the best deal you can get.
What do you consider “signifcantly less”? My wife makes slightly less than 1/2 of what I make and that’s perfectly fine with me. If she wanted to quit her job and stay home with the kids that would be fine with me too. I didn’t marry her for her earning potential.
Mine makes a fourth of what I make but she’s a terrific wife and an exceptional mother… and that’s what matters the most!
^ Exactly.
higg’s, how would she feel about you quitting your job to start a small business or to stay at home? Probably wouldn’t work logistically, right? That is just the reality for a lot of people. The higher earning partner has to keep working, it just happens that men still earn more than women for a variety of reasons, so often it is the man that has to keep working.
^
Totally agree!
Would love to be a house husband for a few years, if we could find a way to sustain the household income.
Hey Higgs and Sniper, my GF makes the same as I but she is about to quit to go back to school for a PhD (don’t ask me why). How do you handle the $$$? Do you have a joint account and simply trust her with the necessary expenses or some kind of separation of your finances? I didn’t expect to be the sole breadwinner so suddenly, must admit I am not sure how best to handle it.
Seriously? Staying home with my kids sounds like a nightmare. My wife earns zero dollars and has an infinitely harder job than I do. I’d work as a fluffer before I’d stay at home.
Hmmm… now I know what the F in your version of CFA stands for!
My brother’s ex-wife helped support / pay for my bro’s PHD. Now, my brother’s character / morals are second to none but as they say, change is the only constant. Moral of the story, be careful in such circumstances.
Typo. I actually meant, “makes significantly more than you”.
If she is just your GF (not wife yet), how come you already have finances together?
If I was in that situation, I would plan to live off my savings (also stipend?) and not my BF’s earnings.
I think it has to do with social pressure, which will subside eventually. I also predict there will be more SAHDs in future with less negative social stigma attached to it.
Yes, was wondering about that
It’s not entirely uncommon for couples in long-term relationships to commingle finances before marriage. Some people just don’t want to get married but live like they are.
Anyway, as to the original question posed by my eskimo friend, can you afford it? If so, and assuming you’re cool with sharing your dough with this chick, then it shouldn’t be that big of an issue. If you can’t afford it, or if you’re not 99% sure she’s the one, then it’s a bad investment and you should figure out how to tactifully tell her she needs to support herself.
Me quitting is something we’ve never discussed, except in the context of moving the family to Bolivia. We could not live here in the manner to which we’ve become accustomed on just her income, but could live in Bolivia quite comfortably on existing savings and some consulting work by me. I’m not interested in raising the kids there though.
Evo Morales doesn’t really sound like your favorite kind of President, though…