My Strange Addiction on TLC

[brain_wash_your_face]

@Greenman72

@1BigStudMuffin

I wack off in the bathroom at work. That’s pretty sweet

Doesn’t count. Everybody does that.

@CvM - What do you do when you accidentally release a big log in the shower? Do you have to smash it with your feet into the drain?

Yeah, it’s called the “waffle stomp.”

[MoreMoneyPleas]

@CFAvsMBA

So, I heard about this show over the weekend. Apparently it’s a reality TV show which hosts individuals with fcked up addictions. For example, a HCB gets turned on by dirty baby diapers. Another dude puts baby powder on his donut vs. powdered sugar. Someone eats sand. It’s fked up stuff, but, to each their own.

So I figured we’d have an AF strange addiction. Allow me to begin.

1. I never finish the last sip of beer. I always toss it as the thought of backwash/warm beer disgusts me.

2. I will always pick up coins on the street. Always.

3. Sometimes, I sht in my shower; especially after I drop a huge deuce and then hop in the shower only to realize I had one more lump in the poop shoot. It just washes down the drain anyway. (this is particularly true when I’m taking Oxy)

4. I manscape around the ‘you know’ but also manscape my underarms. I’ve noticed I get less pit stains when I do.

Let’s hear it. I know my man Bchad has some crazy addictions to share…

I do all of those, except sh_t in the shower.

[MoreMoneyPleas]

@CFAvsMBA

Here is another one; I usually use a stall to pee. Hear me out. The unirnal is not equipped for such a BSD such as myself. I either have to stand back a good 2 feet, exposing myself for the other patrons to see, or get the backspash all over my hands/unit while I’m releasing. Anyways, enough was enough and I found solitude having a stall, adaquate distance to release, and minimal interaction with the sterile matter being ejected.

Again, agree this is optimal.

wow. we’re like straight bros, except the shower pooping

EDIT: I found this…

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/12l98t/so_my_boyfriend_just_nonchalantly_informed_me/

[system]

This morning I blew my nose in the shower. Start the hate!

[Ramos4rm]

I shit once in the shower…but only because I had a stomach bacteria. It was golden brown straight up liquid doe. I had to clean myself with my shirt because there was no toilet paper.

[roberto]

I always blow my nose in the shower.

[Greenman72]

@Ramos4rm

I shit once in the shower…but only because I had a stomach bacteria. It was golden brown straight up liquid doe. I had to clean myself with my shirt because there was no toilet paper.

Huh? You were in the shower (presumably showering), diarrhea’d all over yourself, then cleaned yourself up with your (presumably dry) shirt because there was no toilet paper in the shower.

Got it.

[Greenman72]

@ohai

Greenman, wtf peeing in the kitchen sink? Even with thorough cleaning, the probability of small amounts of urine contaminating your kitchenware converges to one.

Again, it’s one of those things that probably sounds more disgusting than it really is. After all, like BChad said, urine is probably a lot more sterile than most things in your kitchen. And if there are any dishes in the sink, they are going straight to the dishwasher.

[Griingo]

CvM, I think you need to focus more on your nutrition if you’re regularly becoming incontinent in the shower after a bowel movement.

in fact, you should probably get yourself to a doctor for a check up.

[krnyc2008]

@Greenman72

Again, it’s one of those things that probably sounds more disgusting than it really is.

It is as disgusting as it sounds. Does your wife know you do that?

[Ramos4rm]

@Greenman72

@Ramos4rm

I shit once in the shower…but only because I had a stomach bacteria. It was golden brown straight up liquid doe. I had to clean myself with my shirt because there was no toilet paper.

Huh? You were in the shower (presumably showering), diarrhea’d all over yourself, then cleaned yourself up with your (presumably dry) shirt because there was no toilet paper in the shower.

Got it.

Yea, there was just so much, I tried washing off with just water but wasn’t working, needed something to wipe with.

[ohai]

[quote=“krnyc2008”]

@Greenman72

Again, it’s one of those things that probably sounds more disgusting than it really is.

It is as disgusting as it sounds. Does your wife know you do that?

Yes, this is not one of those things where it is sterile and therefore it’s ok. Pretend I sterilize my dick, then I touch it to your face. Or maybe I pee on your face and immediately rub you with alcohol. Or have all your party guests pee in the sink. Greenman is clearly a troubled individual and should seek professional help.

[system]

Ohai,

I’m touched at your level of concern and compassion. I think I speak for us all when I say your presence on AF makes not only the internet, but also the world a better place.

[brain_wash_your_face]

I save my toenails in a jar. They’re great on meatloaf.

[Greenman72]

I only do it when the baby is screaming his head off and I have to go to the kitchen anyway.

Think of it like this–I could walk past the baby on the way to the bathroom, turn on the light, blind myself, use the toilet, and run the risk of peeing on the seat or missing altogether. Of course, the baby notices the light, and starts screaming more than before. Then I turn off the light, walk past the baby back toward the kitchen. He sees me, he notices that I’m not picking him up, then all hell breaks loose. All this takes a few minutes (which is an eternity when you have to pee and your child is screaming). And I still have to go to the kitchen to make the bottle.

Or I can just go to the kitchen and kill two birds with one stone.

Those of you who have kids will empathize. Not saying that you’ll do the same, but I’m sure the thought has entered your mind.

[igor555]

i need to stay away from tejas

[hpracing007]

^^ Just let the baby cry for a few mins, it won’t hurt him.

[MoreMoneyPleas]

wtf

[system]

Do you seriously wank at work? Wtf…like you can’t just let your boner subside.

Wtf is shitting in your shower and peeing in your sink…yuck…

[Sweep_the_Leg]

This has to be read. It’s on par with the Jolly Rancher story I linked to a few weeks ago, but more appropriate for this thread. It’s basically SFW aside from some text. Just be warned, it’s the most disgusting habit you’ll ever hear about.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4ilkt2