Agreed with lxwarr30. My last serious girlfriend was an investment banker and while it was great that we could relate to one another if our work days were chaotic, hectic, or whatever, we mostly talked about non-work related things as we had a number of common friends and interest. Working alongside her schedule was a bit challenging though - I had already moved to private equity so I had better hours than her. Tough to schedule date nights during the week, but I didn’t mind driving to get 8pm dinner with her near her office since at least we could still see each other, and oftentimes she was even more excited since our 30-minute dinners would be a nice reprieve from all the spreadsheet and powerpoint work she was doing. At the end of the day, it’s about the person - finance is a huge field and unless it permeates every single aspect of a person’s life, many people have fun interests outside of work and good relationships are still possible with the right type of person.
lxwarr30 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > It’s actually funny being on a dating website in > NYC. I would say every third profile is like “I > moved to NYC last year, I’m an aspiring > INSERTWHATEVERNONSENSEHERE.” I respect their > courage, but it’s not my thing. > LOL totally! I was also wondering the same thing. Also, a common theme amongst the girls in NYC is “I love to travel!” as 9 of 10 profiles I see here have that same line. I mean… duh, who doesn’t like to travel???
Yeah, I guess it does depend on the person, and maybe my experience gives me an opposite point of view. My last long term GF was about the polar opposite from me in just about every way when it came to careers (what we wanted to do, how serious we were about it, etc) and it caused tension between us because I ended up sacrificing time that could have been for the two of us to take an internship, or spend more hours at work.
“I’m not your ordinary girl… I like to laugh. I like to have a good time. I like to be with my friends. I like the good things in life.” Got to wonder what an ordinary girl must be like… I’m sure we guys have equally obnoxious stuff as well, but I haven’t been checking out those ads…
brightred Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > lxwarr30 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > > > It’s actually funny being on a dating website > in > > NYC. I would say every third profile is like “I > > moved to NYC last year, I’m an aspiring > > INSERTWHATEVERNONSENSEHERE.” I respect their > > courage, but it’s not my thing. > > > > LOL totally! I was also wondering the same thing. > > > Also, a common theme amongst the girls in NYC is > “I love to travel!” as 9 of 10 profiles I see here > have that same line. I mean… duh, who doesn’t > like to travel??? ROFL. ARE YOU ME?! I always laugh at that too. It seems to me that if you have to put that you’re trying to represent something you may not be. I respect the “I like to explore new places, experience new cultures, etc” type more. I guess it’s just wording, but you don’t need to explain you like being in warm weather in the winter.
brightred Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > lxwarr30 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > > > It’s actually funny being on a dating website > in > > NYC. I would say every third profile is like “I > > moved to NYC last year, I’m an aspiring > > INSERTWHATEVERNONSENSEHERE.” I respect their > > courage, but it’s not my thing. > > > > LOL totally! I was also wondering the same thing. > > > Also, a common theme amongst the girls in NYC is > “I love to travel!” as 9 of 10 profiles I see here > have that same line. I mean… duh, who doesn’t > like to travel??? Lol… still haven’t ventured on to any sites yet, but that echos about what 9/10 girls at the bar say.
mar350 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > prolly because i live in a fairly rural area. tons > of teacher girls with nothing to do now that > summer is out. a bunch sit at my pool all day. > ^ not that this should be a problem for anyone at least if you’re not looking for anything serious…jajaja
CFABLACKBELT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > brightred Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > lxwarr30 Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > > > > It’s actually funny being on a dating website > > in > > > NYC. I would say every third profile is like > “I > > > moved to NYC last year, I’m an aspiring > > > INSERTWHATEVERNONSENSEHERE.” I respect their > > > courage, but it’s not my thing. > > > > > > > LOL totally! I was also wondering the same > thing. > > > > > > Also, a common theme amongst the girls in NYC > is > > “I love to travel!” as 9 of 10 profiles I see > here > > have that same line. I mean… duh, who > doesn’t > > like to travel??? > > Lol… still haven’t ventured on to any sites yet, > but that echos about what 9/10 girls at the bar > say. I don’t like to travel.
Back in the days i had “I like to play WOW on Friday nights and on weekends to have some healthy dose of LARP meetup”.
YES, I was thinking the exact same thing the other day. Every girl “loves to travel”, but none of them actually do. The simple fact is like most people, they idealize a life of travel but would rather spend their $ on a new pair of shoes. Anyhow, so I’ve had one great date out of match, and one nightmare. So the nightmare (who claims to be busy like everyone on the site) asks to go to a baseball game because she’s never been. She then picks the date of the game. I buy tickets. Two hours before she cancels and says she’s busy at work. Booooooo.
Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > YES, I was thinking the exact same thing the other > day. Every girl “loves to travel”, but none of > them actually do. The simple fact is like most > people, they idealize a life of travel but would > rather spend their $ on a new pair of shoes. > > Anyhow, so I’ve had one great date out of match, > and one nightmare. So the nightmare (who claims > to be busy like everyone on the site) asks to go > to a baseball game because she’s never been. She > then picks the date of the game. I buy tickets. > Two hours before she cancels and says she’s busy > at work. Booooooo. Next.
lxwarr30 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Black Swan Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > YES, I was thinking the exact same thing the > other > > day. Every girl “loves to travel”, but none of > > them actually do. The simple fact is like most > > people, they idealize a life of travel but > would > > rather spend their $ on a new pair of shoes. > > > > Anyhow, so I’ve had one great date out of > match, > > and one nightmare. So the nightmare (who > claims > > to be busy like everyone on the site) asks to > go > > to a baseball game because she’s never been. > She > > then picks the date of the game. I buy tickets. > > > Two hours before she cancels and says she’s > busy > > at work. Booooooo. > > > Next. Don’t forget to send her an invoice for the cost of the ticket, plus 10% servicing fee.
bchadwick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > lxwarr30 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Black Swan Wrote: > > >> Don’t forget to send her an invoice for the cost > of the ticket, plus 10% servicing fee. if its the Buccos - that’s what, $11? 
Black Swan, sorry to hear about that bizarre social situation. Agreed with lxwarr30 – move to the next one. Personally, I thought it was pretty bold that she wanted to go to a baseball game on the first date. Generally I prefer meeting for drinks after work or for coffee/cocktails on weekend afternoons. I’m all for keeping first dates to an hour unless they naturally progress for longer. So, unless the baseball game girl was smoking hot, I’d send her right back to the “Next!” bus.
Black Swan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > YES, I was thinking the exact same thing the other > day. Every girl “loves to travel”, but none of > them actually do. The simple fact is like most > people, they idealize a life of travel but would > rather spend their $ on a new pair of shoes. > > Anyhow, so I’ve had one great date out of match, > and one nightmare. So the nightmare (who claims > to be busy like everyone on the site) asks to go > to a baseball game because she’s never been. She > then picks the date of the game. I buy tickets. > Two hours before she cancels and says she’s busy > at work. Booooooo. That sucks, guessing she didn’t offer to do anything about it. If she owned up to it, b/c sometimes shit does hit the fan at work, then I’d be ok with it.
Well I’ve never done the online thing but I’m thinking about trying it. I’m new in my city and live pretty far in the 'burbs, so I don’t really hit the scene as much as I should (studying for CFA L1 pretty much kills my dating prospects as well). I have some reservations/questions I would like to pose to the AF community, so please respond with your feedback. Are guys who use online dating perceived as being lame/not good with women/socially inept? This is a stereotype I’ve had for a while about online dating, because it seems so artificial and as a last-resort option to the real thing. For example, there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a woman in the real world right? Again, these are all my own preconceived notions. Is 24 too young to be signing up for online? What do your friends/family think of your online dating? I can only imagine the hell I would receive if anyone found out, then again my friends and family are all fairly judgmental and maybe it’s time I quit caring what they think. What is the attitude on these sites? Is it a hooking-up culture or LT? I’ve had plenty of “flings” over the years but it basically amounted to keeping the girls around just long enough for maximum fun stuff, and then always finding excuses to end it, mainly I wasn’t a fan of commitment and enjoyed being single. But now, I find myself longing for some form of commitment, and its mostly out of intrigue/curiosity. Has anyone else experienced this? Having been single for “too long” or never actually been in a meaningful relationship?
jltrooper Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Are guys who use online dating perceived as being > lame/not good with women/socially inept? You’re an idiot. For several reasons: 1) why in the world would you base your dating decisions on other people’s perceptions? Anyone who is concerned that doing something as insignificant as online dating will make them look like they have no social skills, already has no social skills. I mean, you’re the one asking an online forum of nerds to make your decisions about whether or not it’s okay to online date…you tell me. > This is a stereotype I’ve had for a while about > online dating, because it seems so artificial and > as a last-resort option to the real thing. For > example, there must be something wrong with you if > you can’t find a woman in the real world right? > Again, these are all my own preconceived notions. 2) Again, form your own opinions. Most of my friends met their girlfriends in bars when they were hammered. You’re right, that’s so much more “real”. I’m not even going to address the rest of your paragraph because the reasoning is that rediculous. > Is 24 too young to be signing up for online? Probably. Most of the girls I’ve been dating have been in the 22-25 category from Matchdotcom, but they were all looking for more serious guys in the 26-28 range. Most of them list self-confidence and an ability to think for themselves as key traits in their match, so this could be an obstacle to you as well. > What do your friends/family think of your online > dating? Who gives an F? Good lord, you sound like such a nancy. Mine all think it’s great. I’m pretty open about it with people, my only regret is that I waited this long. I’m averaging 2-3 new dates a week after screening out at least as many each week. > I can only imagine the hell I would receive if > anyone found out, then again my friends and family > are all fairly judgmental and maybe it’s time I > quit caring what they think. ^ This. I know you can’t do a whole lot about the family situation, but ditch the judgmental friends, find people that just don’t give a crap. Your problem is you need to stop hiding so they might “find out”. Just be open, get a sense of humor and adopt an I don’t give F mentality in life in general. It lowers stress and girls love confidence. > What is the attitude on these sites? Is it a > hooking-up culture or LT? With the main ones, like match, it’s more LT, but at the same time I’ve stayed over with girls on the 1st and 2nd date sometimes if things go well. It helps if you have a week or so before the date to actively text them and break the ice. > I’ve had plenty of “flings” over the years but it > basically amounted to keeping the girls around > just long enough for maximum fun stuff, and then > always finding excuses to end it, mainly I wasn’t > a fan of commitment and enjoyed being single. But > now, I find myself longing for some form of > commitment, and its mostly out of > intrigue/curiosity. Has anyone else experienced > this? Having been single for “too long” or never > actually been in a meaningful relationship? Dude…
Haha Swan. I actually started writing a response, but then I realized it wasn’t worth it. You basically said everything I was going to point out, but better.
there was a great article in the New Yorker this week on online dating. Highly suggested read.
I did match for a couple of months a year or so ago and it was a good experience. It’s pretty easy to end up serially dating people though, because there are so many options at your fingertips. Basically, I declined to renew my membership because I wasn’t looking for a long term thing at that point, and I’ve been more focused on the bar scene since on average I would say it is more casual. I may sign back up for online in a couple months, but trust that I will avoid the “willing to lie about how we met” type of woman. Someone who lies that easily is probably evil, in a biblical sense.