BiPolarBoyBoston Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ^ valid point. > > Alright boys lets hear some stories where you meet > some amazing girls and had serious relationship or > build an emotional connection which was helped by > the fact you did not pay for anything (exclude > one-night stands). The average Joe doesn’t have > this much game. My now wife paid for probably 80% of our expenses (she had a card from her parents while she was in school that was paid for her). Those were the dayyyyyyssssssss.
Mr. Pink Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So both times you paid, both times you didn’t get > what you wanted. Yet your advocating for paying? > Why? > > Get your buddy on this board, he’s the one that > got a free meal on your dime and banged the girl > you wanted. He should be giving the advice. Exactly. Finally, some sanity in this thread. He’s advocating to pay because that’s what society tells him to think and what group-think says is effective (even though it obviously is not). The fundamental problem with BiPolar’s thinking is that it puts the higher value on the girl. Girls want to date (and marry) up – someone with higher status (girls don’t love money, they love status and power). If you have to literally PAY her to hang out with you, you have lower status than she does, bottom line. Taking BiPolar’s advice will always put a guy in a position of weakness since he will constantly be worried about whether she thinks he’s cheap, polite, etc. The attitude you need to cultivate is that SHE should be paying YOU to hang out with her (in sex, if not money), not the other way around. Things are never perfectly even in relationships / potential relationships (reality check!), and the guy usually gets kicked to the curb when his value is lower. The answer to this dilemma is simple: Be higher value than she is. Get your sh*t together. You don’t have to be a billionaire or look like Brad Pitt to date hot girls. You just need to have your life in order, not care about what she thinks about you, and be a confident / interesting person. Most of success with women (and in life) comes from internal sources, not external sources. If you could do those things (which are actually relatively easy to do) you would be ahead of 95% of guys out there. I know you’re thinking, yeah right, I need to drive a Porsche and look like an underwear model, blah blah blah. That’s wrong. Stop making excuses. If you want to date more girls or hotter girls, get your life in order and learn game – this would take 12 months tops, but does require some effort. Or do nothing if you are happy with the results you’re getting.
^Higher value in what sense? Women definitely want to date up. They want the men to be smarter, make more money… And why do you think the women want the men to make more money? (look up divorce statistics for households in which women make more. It’s statistically significant) Only exception would be looks. I agree that the inside is what counts and what’s factored in is how generous or cheap you are. If you’re a cheap guy especially with the girl, then yea some women will tolerate you, but most women won’t. Like I mentioned before, it’s more about the pettiness issue more than the money itself. If you invite a girl out on a date, you would expect her to pay for half and/or all of it? C’mon now. YOU invited HER. The only guys that I’ve seen that were the exception to paying were the ones that had mad game (i.e. HOT). However, if you want a quality girl that have guys flock to them, get in line. Many men will want to pay and will be glad that you don’t. If you haven’t noticed by now, all the people saying that the man doesn’t have to pay were… the men. lol. Take what you will from this, but my advice here is from the girlfriend consensus. Enough hijacking from me. Sorry to the OP! Did you get any replies OP?
Worth noting that the girlfriend consensus is consisted of really hot women that have guys flocking to them. It may be a biased sample. You know what, come to think of it, I would pay for a guy on a date that never pays… … so that I can get in good with his best friend that does! Cha-ching! 
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The only guys that I’ve seen that > were the exception to paying were the ones that > had mad game (i.e. HOT). i’ll let you know when i have an openning [slowly flexes, kisses right bicep]
Just for another perspective, one of my friends pays for everything and it is extremely grating. I would prefer to treat him once in a while so I think there should be some give and take. If the girl asks to pay after the first few dates let her… obviously not every time but just let her feel like she can look after you too.
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Worth noting that the girlfriend consensus is > consisted of really hot women that have guys > flocking to them. It may be a biased sample. > > You know what, come to think of it, I would pay > for a guy on a date that never pays… > > > > > … > so that I can get in good with his best friend > that does! > > Cha-ching! > > Ocean, I have a friend that pays for dates, good looking and tall too. I like steakhouses.
KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just for another perspective, one of my friends > pays for everything and it is extremely grating. > > I would prefer to treat him once in a while so I > think there should be some give and take. If the > girl asks to pay after the first few dates let > her… obviously not every time but just let her > feel like she can look after you too. So would you think less of a guy even if he looked like Brad Pitt and had the game of George Clooney but asked you to pay at the end of the date which made him look cheap?
Jesus…long story short, if you’re a guy and you need to check your bank account before throwing down your card to make sure you’ve got $150 in there to cover dinner and a tip, then you really need to examine your current position in life. Guys, just pay the check - it’s NEVER GONNA HURT YOUR CHANCES. Simple game theory…even if splitting it “only” costs you 1 out of 10 times getting laid, if you’re dating hot chicks, I’d say that stabbing a hottie is well worth $750 . Now seriously people, buck the fuck up. This is honestly a really, really embarrassing thread for people who are supposedly doing okay for themselves - splitting a check is what broke guys do.
BiPolarBoyBoston Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > KarenC Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Just for another perspective, one of my friends > > pays for everything and it is extremely grating. > > > > > I would prefer to treat him once in a while so > I > > think there should be some give and take. If > the > > girl asks to pay after the first few dates let > > her… obviously not every time but just let > her > > feel like she can look after you too. > > So would you think less of a guy even if he looked > like Brad Pitt and had the game of George Clooney > but asked you to pay at the end of the date which > made him look cheap? Haha I would never go for a guy like that. Seriously though, girls like to be treated, even if they are all about equal opportunity, it’s just nice. However we like to treat our boys too (once in a while!) so bear that in mind and let us offer. But NEVER ask a girl to pay…maybe if you’re in a long-term relationship and can get away with that sort of behaviour but in a different situation - asking her isn’t cheap - it’s pathetic. I mean come on - how much can a night out cost…it’s all about treating each other, both should do the offering and neither should ask for it!
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ^Higher value in what sense? Better game. More in demand. More money. Better looking. Some combination of all of the above. But most importantly, better social skills (game). > Women definitely want to date up. They want the > men to be smarter, This is easy. Of course, I live in California, so it’s a low bar. make more money… And why do > you think the women want the men to make more > money? (look up divorce statistics for households > in which women make more. It’s statistically > significant) Only exception would be looks. Marriage is an atrocious deal for men. > I agree that the inside is what counts and what’s > factored in is how generous or cheap you are. This only pencils out on paper. Lots of attractive women fall all over themselves to date unemployed men with no money. How many times have you seen a nice guy with a stable job get kicked to the curb in favor of the unemployed guy with a harley, a drinking problem, and a bad attitude? Let’s be real. > If you’re a cheap guy especially with the girl, then > yea some women will tolerate you, but most women > won’t. Like I mentioned before, it’s more about > the pettiness issue more than the money itself. If > you invite a girl out on a date, you would expect > her to pay for half and/or all of it? C’mon now. > YOU invited HER. I never invite girls to dinner (unless it’s at my place and I cook something) and other guys shouldn’t either. It sends the wrong message. If I am going to ask a girl on a date, it’s usually to run errands with me (seriously). Women love the idea of going shopping with a guy to pick out new clothes, buy a new sofa, etc. Of course you can’t do that ALL the time, but I’m not paying even a dime to hang out with a girl unless she proves herself worthy. You can say girls wouldn’t go for this, but you’re wrong, they eat it up. The only guys that I’ve seen that > were the exception to paying were the ones that > had mad game (i.e. HOT). This is what I’ve been advocating. However, if you want a > quality girl that have guys flock to them, get in > line. Many men will want to pay and will be glad > that you don’t. They pay but don’t lay. > If you haven’t noticed by now, all the people > saying that the man doesn’t have to pay were… > the men. lol. Take what you will from this, but my > advice here is from the girlfriend consensus. Yes, most guys are a little slow, but some of them are finally catching on. Girls have a vested interested in the status quo since it usually results in free food for them.
One thing that one woman pointed out to me is that when a woman gets ready for a date that she’s excited about, she often spends quite a bit to spruce herself up - go get her hair done, the beauty parlor, new clothes, etc… All this can get quite expensive if she does it. Now, not all women do this, and, interestingly, I’ve not heard a single woman here say that they do this, but I’ve found that if it looks like a woman has put some effort into presenting herself, I give her credit for that and think of it as part of her “contribution” to the date. If the guy has a decent job, then I don’t think he should begrudge her a drink or dinner. But make no mistake that a smart guy evaluates whether she seems like she’s just seeing what she can get. I like bromion’s idea of just going out and doing things together. The “date” culture here in the US is so stifling. I love how natural romance feels in Europe and Latin America. In the US, it’s something between a job interview and an obstacle course.
I got this from the site from women, how to tell what kind of lover a man is. “Clear physical and emotional discomfort when a man gets his wallet and parts with money is a further evidence “against”. Recall that psychologists often draw parallels between the process of buying and orgasm, and make your conclusions. Alas, a hog remains a hog in bed, not generous to give you pleasure and greedy for affection.”
JOE2010 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > CPierce Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > JOE2010 Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > I have no intention to offend but for some > > reason > > > I have always thought online dating is for > > social > > > misfits - if you can not create interactions > > from > > > friends, family, friends of friends and > others, > > > may be it is a lifestyle issue? > > > > > > What do you do when you are not working and > > > studying CFA? > > > > How big is the rock that you live under? > > > You are now being an idiot, it is pretty basic > that online dating is riskier. However, it works > for some. Good luck to the OP. Online dating is riskier??? Um, I dont see how anything in the cyberworld is riskier than the real world.
Look for meetup.com events in your city, and try out a few of them. You could easily meet someone, or meet someone who knows someone.
skillionaire Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Jesus…long story short, if you’re a > guy and you need to check your bank account before > throwing down your card to make sure you’ve got > $150 in there to cover dinner and a tip, then you > really need to examine your current position in > life. > > Guys, just pay the check - it’s NEVER GONNA HURT > YOUR CHANCES. > > Simple game theory…even if splitting it > “only” costs you 1 out of 10 times getting laid, > if you’re dating hot chicks, I’d say that stabbing > a hottie is well worth $750 . > > Now seriously people, buck the fuck up. > > This is honestly a really, really embarrassing > thread for people who are supposedly doing okay > for themselves - splitting a check is what broke > guys do. +1 skillion
I once went to a double date ( i was dating my current wife at the time) and the other guy paid entire bill for 4 people! I wish i would meet more people like this!
comp_sci_kid Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I once went to a double date ( i was dating my > current wife at the time) and the other guy paid > entire bill for 4 people! I wish i would meet more > people like this! He probably did them both. Oh, that was your wife. Sorry dude…
Oh… that was a joke? I am sorry dude
Unfortunately I haven’t had any luck with the new profile- no responses at all. However I did meet someone in the real world. It was a bit fluky how we met. We’ll see if it works out, too early to tell now. I would NOT say Match.com was a waste of money- it just didn’t work for me for whatever reason. If anyone tries it best of luck.