Picking up women . . . 2

Water Cooler
#1

Thirty-seven years ago last January, I met a woman in a volleyball class at a local community college (at the time, they were known as _ junior _ colleges). She wore a yellow t-shirt with a Ferrari badge emblazoned on the front.

According to her, I asked, “Do you drive one, or do you merely tout them?”

(For the record, I don’t recall saying that. Though it sounds like something I’d say.)

Eleven months we were married; this December we will celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary.

That’s how you pick up women.

#2

I disagree. To pick up women, do the following:

  1. Squat down.

  2. Wrap your arms around her thighs.

  3. Lift such that she is now draped over your shoulder.

  4. Marry.

#3

For comparison on how our techniques work . . . on how many women has your method been successful (including Step 4)?

#4

Wow S2000, you are so clever (?).

#5

If your boring story about homemade waffles had a baby with one of those douchy “my other car is a porsche” bumper stickers, this is exactly what that unwanted bastard story would look like.

#6

What if you can’t find a woman wearing a yellow t-shirt with a Ferrari badge?

#7

Either:

  • You’re not looking hard enough
  • You’re . . . .
#8

You haven’t had your morning coffee yet, have you?

#9

Would a higher number indicate success or failure?

#10

You should have asked if you could take a spin in her Ferrari. Seal the deal with a giant wink so the intent is clear.

#11

The topic is picking up women, not keeping them, so a higher number would indicate success.

#12

Sounds a bit too smooth for you S2000. I think you were probably awkward and creepy but you were sincere so she gave you a chance.

#13

Then why would the inclusion of #4 be necessary?

#14

That merely betrays your ignorance.

#15

Congratulations, S2000magician!

My #1 rule for pickup is never approach unless you get an indication of interest. It always starts with eye contact. If she’s interested, she or her body will let you know - no matter how shy she may be…

#16

You have a power to detect female pheromones or lubrication? Please teach me…

#17

OP needs to change the title, since we were already on Picking Up Women 6".

#18

Use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.

#19

Hahaha! Body language, my friend. It can be as simple as her getting closer to you. It’s her way of saying: “hey, say something to me.”

#20

i think you are making Thommos point.