Picking up women . . . 2

Thirty-seven years ago last January, I met a woman in a volleyball class at a local community college (at the time, they were known as _ junior _ colleges). She wore a yellow t-shirt with a Ferrari badge emblazoned on the front.

According to her, I asked, “Do you drive one, or do you merely tout them?”

(For the record, I don’t recall saying that. Though it sounds like something I’d say.)

Eleven months we were married; this December we will celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary.

That’s how you pick up women.

I disagree. To pick up women, do the following:

  1. Squat down.

  2. Wrap your arms around her thighs.

  3. Lift such that she is now draped over your shoulder.

  4. Marry.

For comparison on how our techniques work . . . on how many women has your method been successful (including Step 4)?

Wow S2000, you are so clever (?).

If your boring story about homemade waffles had a baby with one of those douchy “my other car is a porsche” bumper stickers, this is exactly what that unwanted bastard story would look like.

What if you can’t find a woman wearing a yellow t-shirt with a Ferrari badge?


  • You’re not looking hard enough
  • You’re . . . .

You haven’t had your morning coffee yet, have you?

Would a higher number indicate success or failure?

You should have asked if you could take a spin in her Ferrari. Seal the deal with a giant wink so the intent is clear.

The topic is picking up women, not keeping them, so a higher number would indicate success.

Sounds a bit too smooth for you S2000. I think you were probably awkward and creepy but you were sincere so she gave you a chance.

Then why would the inclusion of #4 be necessary?

That merely betrays your ignorance.

Congratulations, S2000magician!

My #1 rule for pickup is never approach unless you get an indication of interest. It always starts with eye contact. If she’s interested, she or her body will let you know - no matter how shy she may be…

You have a power to detect female pheromones or lubrication? Please teach me…

OP needs to change the title, since we were already on Picking Up Women 6".

Use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.

Hahaha! Body language, my friend. It can be as simple as her getting closer to you. It’s her way of saying: “hey, say something to me.”

i think you are making Thommos point.