"Professional Cuddling" service is sketchiest thing I've seen today

Did you mean back room or “backroom”? Just trying to set expectations here.

I know people who would totally go for that. And I believe that it genuinely is platonic, most of the time (there might be someone she’s attracted to that she might make an exception for here and there, but remember, this is Oregon).

The videos are pretty trippy. Just listening to them talk is a little too rainbows and unicorn-y for me. Yes, human beings need to be touched, but the “it cures everything from asthma to zits” starts making me ask here if I can have a toke on that joint she’s smokin.

For that price, I’ll take a massage, though.

I meant the former but the latter can apply too.

It could be platonic in her mind, but for the guy customers, this definitely falls into the “fake girlfriend” category. Guy on guy cuddle, for instance, would be a bit weird. I’m not sure if girls would go for girl/girl cuddle.

I just meant platonic in that I don’t think there’s secret sex going on. If the guy gets excited or wants to fantasize about her later, that’s something else. Personally, she’s not the kind of girl that does it for me (though she *is* brunette), but it takes all types to make a world…

I could be very good at this job.

Who wants to cuddle?

I also offer overnight cuddle sessions with a prerequisite of at least one previous 60 minute cuddle session. An overnight session will entitle you to up to 10 hours of cuddle time depending on what your needs are, and pricing is at a flat rate. Please contact me for more details. ** All cuddle sessions will require both parties to be fully clothed at all times. While I can appreciate your comfort with your body just as I appreciate my own what I offer has nothing to do with nudity in the physical sense so please be respectful of this requirement.


A. During a cuddle session we can sit, lie, or do something in between. This is your time to receive the love and attention that you deserve. We may hold hands and chat sitting close on a couch, lie in bed and cuddle big spoon/little spoon style, or maybe you sit/lie down and I gently caress your arms/back while I lay near you. There are a thousand variations of this, but all require we make you comfortable, relaxed, and feeling the sort of love a Mother gives to her child. This is in no way sexual, but is intended to give you the feeling that you are not alone, and that the world is a good place. We all need to feel the warmth and closeness of another to feel whole, and I am here to help you achieve that in whatever way makes us both feel comfortable. You will receive the sort of touch needed to help bring you the comfort that will encourage you to feel your best in each session.

== Damn the picture isn’t posting, go google “dafuq did I just read?”

^ yes that x1,000

Hey bromion, here’s how you embed the text. Once you’re ready to paste an image, get the weblink for the image, click the “Disable rich-text” line below, and then type the following – make sure it is bracketed by “less than” and “/greater than” signs to the left and right respectively:

I think I used to know that back in like 1997 but I forgot because every other website on the internet today allows you to just paste the picture in. Thanks for the reminder numi!

Doesn’t this already happen in Japan?

Not sure why anyone would pay $60 an hour for hugs when you can build your own hugging machine from basic materials.



It sounds like the perfect victim for the local Ted Bundy in her area if you ask me. The guy shows up for the previous meeting looking perfectly normal, she agrees to this cuddling ish, then bam! her head ends up in the fridge and there are no obvious ties to track down the killer.

^ I would have to assume that she’s smart enough to be sure at least someone knows where she’s cuddling, so Ted Bundy 2 would have to go to the trouble of renting out an apartment in advance with fake ID, etc. That being said, I think it’s highly likely this girl will end up being killed by a client.

Aside from her scheduled appointments.

i like that. thinking like a killer

If I could get over the potential guilt and the possiblity of spending eternity in hell (damn you Christian upbringing), I’m quite certain I could murder someone and not get caught. I don’t mean killing some random dude on the street either, I mean killing someone I know and who I wish were dead.

You know, this is a good way for college girls to make some money. It shouldn’t be that hard to find a few girls to manage. If there is a market that is, which I’m kind of skeptical.

Good idea. Have them dress up in costume also. So, clients can cuddle with nurse, soccer referee, French maid, Batgirl, etc.