I may have stumbled into a situation where I hooked up with a close friend’s ex last night. I’m starting to think I may have created a terrible scenario and am looking for any shared advice, experiences, or input. Thoughts?
When did you find out?
Did you initiate / play along despite being aware?
Bad move, broseph.
Hopefully he dumped her and has 0 feelings for her else, sh*t just got real.
Looks like you already got your input!
IDK, was it a mistake, have you talked to her about it?
It didn’t happen. Deny.
I always say blame the Ho, not the Bro. It’s her fault. You’re just doing what God made you to do.
Depends on a few things. Are you really good friends with the guy? Long time friend? How long where they dating? How long have they been broken up?
If the answers are something like this: “We’ve been best buds for several years, including when he was dating this girl. They were really serious and dated for a long time. They just broke up and it was rough.” Then prepare to have your nose broken, and rightfully so. Don’t fight back. You deserve it.
If it’s the exact opposite and this guy is just a fairly good friend you’ve only known for a while and this was a not-so-serious girlfriend of his, then you’re probably ok.
Source: One of my best friends hooked up with my ex a few months after we broke up. I kicked the sh*t out of him. We’re still best buds today.
They broke up like awhile back (6+ months ish?) after dating for like a year and I think he’s still into her and she has since started dating someone else who I don’t know. Him, me and her are all really good friends. Basically all part of my main whitewater crew of like 5-6 people that run stuff together each weekend. Then last night sh*t got real back at my place after the Penguins game. I wasn’t really sure we were on a date until all the sudden we were hooking up and stuff.
^I would do the complete opposite. I did this in college and regretted it. Tell your bud you f’d up, didnt mean anything by it.
We get hammered a lot together, so I’m pretty sure this is gonna surface at a really awkward time at one point or another and crap is gonna get out of hand. I’m really unstoked about this. If it wasn’t for the whole back story, this would be a great event.
Nope, this is definitely not an option. I like CT’s plan the best so far. Agh.
You could do it again after the next hockey game and see if a solution comes to you at that time. What’s the marginal cost of hooking up again? Pretty low, IMO.
This is not encouraging. I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle of those ends of the spectrum.
You have a few options depending on where you want to go from here:
A) You like the chick and want to actually date her. This is actually an ok scenario all things considered. You’re friend won’t take it well, but it’ll sit better with him that you’re actually serious about each other and not just f-buddies.
B) It’s only going to be a one night thing or maybe you’ll be f-buddies. Consult with the girl and see if you can keep it hidden forever. This is risky because even if it comes out years later you’re still going to get clocked, and rightfully so.
C) Man up and confess. Tell your buddy you were both drunk and it just sort of happened. Grovel and beg for forgiveness and take the punch like a bro should.
If it’s not A then go for C. B ends badly for all unless you both can keep this a secret forever, and that never happens.
I’m thinking secretly do A.
^^I’ve seen one too many crappy dramas to think that anything can get kept a secret forever.
You should eventually tell the buddy, but make sure he is in a secure personal condition where he will accept the news well.
Also, is it true that hooking up with someone is like hooking up with everyone that that person has been with? Please discuss.
Trust my man - just get it out in the open, take a blow if necessary and call it even. Either way there will probably be repercussions because it will leak out so when it does your friend will either take it out on you, but leave with respect, or take it out on you and feel betrayed. Your choice,
Secret A isn’t an option. If you’re serious about dating her then go public. If the relationship works out your buddy is going to find out sometime. He’ll just be more pissed that you’ve been lying to him the whole time.
I clearly did not think this through.
You want to date her? Well, then hmm? Move to another country; it worked for me.