are full time house wives more or less likely to cheat?
dpcfa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > i considered having a career but then i realized i > should obv get back in the kitchen where i belong > and grill my man a fat juicy steak while he > watches the game and drinks beer. > as a woman, i’d be more productive as a > baby-making machine than i would in the workplace. > > > +10000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I’m actually allowed to post on this thread Here are some links for you, Ocean Mist: http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article6936224.ece http://morningquickie.com/?p=1757
I think you can have a great job, family, husband and friends to boot. It is simply just a issue of balance in your life and an incredibly supportive partner. Plus, it doesn’t have to be a trade-off situation that only one person in the relationship has the great job and pursues their dreams- both people can do it. You just have to figure out how you can make it work for your specific life. I am a woman, just finished my MBA and am studying for level 2. I definitly want a family sometime in the next 10 years and will be home with my children when they are growing-up. My dream is to be self-employed and managing investments by the time this happens, (with perhaps have a little extra help around the house) and meanwhile letting and encouraging my husband to pursue his own dreams. I suggest finding a woman mentor with a family and fantastic job. best of luck
Ocean Mist, another woman here. I’m 31, a CFA charterholder and have a job in research for a buy-side firm. I also have 2 kids (3.5 and 2) and my husband is at home with them. All I can say is that there are no easy answers. I’m sure some on here assume I wear the pants in the family because my husband stays home. Not true by a long shot. Our first child was a … surprise. My husband had gone back to school and was in the midst of a career change when our first was born. He worked in a department where part-time work-at-home arrangements were allowed. I did not. So he started working at home 2 days/week (with longer days in the office the other 3 days). Our son was an easygoing baby, and he basically only had to put in partial days at home. Once our son was mobile and our daughter was on the way, it became obvious that working at home and actually accomplishing something just wasn’t possible. My husband had a very long commute, and because he was switching careers, his salary hadn’t amped up enough to hire a nanny for our kids full-time. Due to our long commutes, we’d need a nanny. He felt strongly about having somebody be at home. It was obvious that, because I was being paid a lot more, it would be him. He was fine with that. However, he’s a very traditional guy, and I think it’s probably somewhat hard for him to be “non-traditional.” It’s not like he’s going to hang out with the gaggle of housewives on our street. I’m also not the alpha career woman who would hate being home with the kids. I think I’d probably like it, for the most part. I know I would find it exhausting, though. My kids are young and quite demanding. It’s difficult to know how I would find it if I were home every day. But I’m not resentful about working - I do like my job and I’m lucky to have it. My husband has taken on paid consulting work and a bunch of volunteer activities. The degree to which he has taken on outside activities has been a source of contention for us. However, he needs an outlet and this also gives him stuff for the resume, so it’s obviously important. Every couple’s situation is different. And everyone has to negotiate with their spouse to find solutions that allow both of them to get most of what they want out of life. A perfect work-life balance doesn’t exist, in my opinion.
This is a good thread! I definitely will maintain my career momentum, unless the one I end up with doesn’t want me to work and he could easily take care of the family with his salary! I am a world traveler, I work hard and play harder. I love to stay at home, cook, house chores or even go shopping, but it’s more exciting To be able to buy your husband with a new toy, something he’s been wanting really bad, but doesn’t want to spend money on himself, but instead trying to take care of me! I must admit I am a workaholic in my mid 20’s not sure if i would give up my passion for finance to raise a family. Maybe I’ll change my mins when I meet mr. Right.
dpcfa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > i considered having a career but then i realized i > should obv get back in the kitchen where i belong > and grill my man a fat juicy steak while he > watches the game and drinks beer. > as a woman, i’d be more productive as a > baby-making machine than i would in the workplace. > > > This is great… haha
Some food for thought Infidelity Rises When She Makes More Than He Does http://www.businessweek.com/lifestyle/content/healthday/642146.html
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > …and I bet a bunch of men clicked on this post > instead! Haha > > I have a question for women on this board, either > that or future house-husbands, or for those of you > have a wife that had to make the choice. > > So, if you are a career-woman and plan to have a > family one day - did you have to give up your > career ambitions for the family? This is > including, but not limited to, working part-time > (which means you won’t be promoted, take a serious > paycut, etc. etc.) and/or not pursuing certain > careers due to the family. OR… Have you worked > full-time while raising the kids? > > Serious question because reality is that most > “career women” have to make this choice, and I can > say that most of the senior-level executive women > do NOT have children. In fact, on average in my > town (based purely through my observation in > various firms), only 20% of women had children, > versus nearly 100% of men that had children. > > Yeah… to make matters worse, if you ever get the > charter which requires you to work full-time - > would you lose it for working part-time? I know I > might have to lose a few of my designations if I > choose to go the family route. hire a mexican or philipino house servant to take care of your children!
I’ve been told these two things by many women, although I admit the generalization, basically from the point of view of women: 1. A man’s income and future cashflows = how hot he is 2. Man’s income > Woman’s income, otherwise she cannot respect him Therefore, with a few exceptions, almost no woman I know is happy with her husband sitting at home not making money, even if they are great husbands, take care of the kids, do the laundry, etc. The bottom line is that once Men cease to make income women do not see any utility to men. This can explain a lot of the divorces we saw in the banking community during the crisis. I recall a website www.dabagirls.org which stood for “dating a banker anonymous” where one woman wrote that now that her boyfriend is unemployed from Ibanking, he spends a lot of time at home and she realizes that he’s just an Asian mathclub nerd that she would not have spoken to in High School. One dear friend of mine, who is an investment banker, told me that she doesn’t think she’ll be able to find a husband because she doesn’t like iBanker d*ckheads but that any other type of man doesn’t make as much money as her and therefore does not qualify. If this is true, then a high action career is not what most women want. Most are happy with something easy and stress free, cause the children are enough hassle. This plus a husband who makes more money than they do. Preferably lots. I do have two female friends that are high flying iBankers in their mid to late 30’s They both were artificially inseminated. Now they have the kid, the job, and don’t need a husband because they already make more money than 99% of men. When they get horny they prey on young men and have one night stands.
ChickenTikka Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I do have two female friends that are high flying > iBankers in their mid to late 30’s They both were > artificially inseminated. Now they have the kid, > the job, and don’t need a husband because they > already make more money than 99% of men. When > they get horny they prey on young men and have one > night stands. So is it possible to get hunted down by a cougar and enter I-Banking?
We need to restore honor and take back America to its original values and culture.
You might get hunted down by a cougar in I-banking, but she’s not going to share her money with you and she’s certainly not gonna help you. She’ll get the sex she wants and kick your a$$ out on the street.
Or you can become her cheap butler.
ChickenTikka - Good points. I would also say the reverse is true - that men find it discomforting when the woman makes more. In theory, it sounds great until you’re out with your buddies that are raking in $$$ and treat you like a fe-man. Also had a question - is it true that men are intimidated by a woman’s intelligence, especially if it’s apparent that she is more intelligent? According to my brainwashed bf, I am not approachable because I intimidating in intelligence and looks just like all of the other AFers on this board that are cursed with this according to self-rate thread. … NOT. I’m totally joking but the question remains - are guys intimidated by intelligent women?
Ocean Mist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Also had a question - is it true that men are > intimidated by a woman’s intelligence, especially > if it’s apparent that she is more intelligent? > According to my brainwashed bf, I am not > approachable because I intimidating in > intelligence and looks just like all of the other > AFers on this board that are cursed with this > according to self-rate thread. > > > > … NOT. I’m totally joking but the question > remains - are guys intimidated by intelligent > women? So you’re trying to say that your intelligence scares off guys? If so, then you 're hitting at losers. Intelligence always intimidates, which is thrilling. That’s why dating an intelligent women is like taming the beast… so, of course it attracts a lot. Dumb hot women are like bad margarita after some time, while intelligent women are like strong tequila shot and absinthe at same time, and they get better with time like wine. That’s just an opinion!!!
^I agree with you. However, isn’t there a catch 22 associated? I know many intelligent women that are not-as-attractive that have a harder time finding men than hot chicks that are really stupid.
^ Laws of demand and supply are valid in this case too. They might not have intelligent guys around. Why don’t you advise all of them to join AF, we’ll start a thread for this and ask Chad to make it sticky. That will be much more efficient :-)!
I am attracted to intelligent women, but I often find that its a different type of intelligence, usually one opposite mine. I’m not too attracted to girls that are good with math, but rather who are more cultured, more traveled, and more creative than I am. A girl who is a geography geek will probably be attractive to me simply because I am not so great at geography.
I love intelligent women, and I like it when a woman is smarter than me about some topic. If a woman is smarter than a guy about everything (i.e. a smart woman with a dull or average guy), I can see that it might make the guy feel like he can’t “man up” and be a decisionmaker without being told his decision is wrong or suboptimal. The reverse dynamic undoubtedly annoys women too, but at least it doesn’t cut at their identity as a woman, and some women find that this makes them feel " cared for" or “thought about.” The real issue with intelligence an intimidation is when a woman (or man) is so competitive about their intelligence that every last topic becomes a contest of who is smarter. I’ve known some women like that, and it’s not the intelligence that is a turn off, but the fact that you can’t seem to have a conversation or a moment that isn’t somehow a test of who is more knowledgable or smarter. I’ve known women who say that men get turned off by intelligence and can’t handle a smart woman, when in fact what they do is talk the poor guy to death where he can’t get a word in edgewise. Ideally, you want a relationship where each partner is excellent in some capacity and each partner feels pride in what they give and joy in what they recieve from the other, and in general, intelligence adds to this.