Relationship Deal Breakers

Well, bad sex is rare, but unimaginative sex does come up now and then. I had a GF where the options were basically missionary and doggie, with woman-on-top for extra kinky. Plus she didn’t like to go down (loved the reverse, though). It was sad, because she was otherwise a great girlfriend: attentive, affectionate, physically attractive. But it eventually got so mundane that we had a fight about some stupid stuff one day and I just decided it was best not to try to fix it.

There are a few out there that don’t know how to handle a guy’s equipment. Teeth too exposed. Squeezing where it hurts (not in a pain fantasy) and not touching where it feels good. So yeah, there is bad sex out there, and I guess it really is a dealbreaker, though one hopes (sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly) that with a little practice and guidance, she might figure out how to do it right.

Does that really happen though?

Rest is reasonable imo

Alas, it is true, though I’ve been lucky that most of my experiences have not fallen into that category.

And I have a number of second-hand reports that many women stop going down pretty much as soon as they get married. Maybe they suddenly get mad at their husbands (perhaps for good reasons; perhaps not) and that’s their revenge, or maybe they never liked it and figure they don’t have to do it anymore.

Since when a woman on top is “extra kinky”?

I see my dry sarcasm is not as obvious as I had thought. :wink:

Neither is mine :slight_smile:


So I guess I’ll say it as I’m getting older and not as dumb (maybe wiser).

S3x is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure it can be thrilling to chase tail and score a trophy kill, but it does not lead to happiness beyond the initial act. Some may even say one further upsets their general wellbeing by being promiscuous. I can honestly say that I felt more and more empty the more times I awoke next to a stranger who got my rocks off. Now I’m a proponent that there is so much more to life than an orgasm. Even the good orgasms I’ve had are not the highlights of my life when I think back to the adventures I’ve had. I really think hollywood makes it seem like the best thing ever, and no one wants to admit it was just ok, so the lie continues to perpetuate.

Seeking true unconditional love has really helped me become a better person. Growing in my faith and becoming a better disciple of Jesus has improved my overall actualization far more than the instant gratifying means I was seeking as I was when rousing the bar scene.

I pivot my nephew for pushing me to think and ponder what I want out of life long term. Meeting him after his birth really transformed my view.

Anyways, deep thoughts from your uncle CvM saved by the santifying grace of his Lord. As I’m in the market for dating, I now no longer keep s3x as a primary condition. Let’s face it, much more to a happy relationship than the 36 seconds you spend plowing between the sheets. Yes, 36 seconds is all she gets until Im’ done.

^^^ lol, but for real I wouldnt say its the most important thing for most people but it is important. I have been in relationships where I didn’t get as much as I would like, and ones where she had the higher sex drive and tbh the latter works better. That being said there are a ton of other factors that I notice other friends of mine ignoring and its easy to see those relationships doomed from the beginning. Relationships are all about compatability.

Also CvM I am now imagining a count down timer hovering over your head

You guys are all idiots.

I speak from experience: in 41 days I celebrate my 36th wedding anniversary.

Countdown timer? No, just chosing to life a life of more substance and purpose. Ice cream is tastey, and makes you happy, but if you ate a ton of ice cream, long term you’d be unhealthy and unhappy. S3x is one in the same kiddos.

S2KM, Respect.

Thanks, CvM.

I meant a countdown timer over your head when you had sex, much like the NBA shot clock. However this clock starts at 36 seconds

Here are my dribbles of wisdom (if you can call it that) on the topic.

  1. If you want to turbocharge your sex life. Add love. – Women had this figured out long before we did.

  2. As a correlary to (1): in an enduring relationship, one’s sex life is (barring issues of physical disability) a barometer of the rest of the relationship - when it’s not as good as it was (the initial blush excepted, because that thrill always subsides), usually the reason is something not working in the rest of the relationship, and vice versa.

  3. I think sex is more important to most of us than we are willing to admit in public, but less important than most people actually make it out ot be in private.

  4. As women age, they get more into the raw physicality of sex; as men age, they get more into the emotional side of sex. This is one of the nicer things about ageing – men and women start to become more similar in their desires (though still not the same) and better suited to each other.

  5. Pretty much all men struggle with temptations to cheat; but a good companion is not worth alienating over a trifle. I can’t speak for women, but I do know that a fair percentage of them don’t have much trouble turning off their interest in others, once they are partnered up.

  6. The thrill of the chase and a successful seduction is sure dang exciting, but it is ultimately kind of empty without some other connection. Nonetheless, not everything in life must be earnest and substantial … a life without a certain amount of superficiality sprinkled in does lack flavor. We just shouldn’t overdo the superficiality.

^^ good stuff

CvM’s been watching too many RomComs and not enough RapCity.


there was a survey among those who were very casual about the deed, and even they said the personal connection (beyond just physical) was what made the experience really awesome.

i mean look, for just the physical qualities, you may as well just pay for it.

Who wants to be with a naggy gold digger for life based on just looks.

You don’t have any older, married friends? Ask them how much they give to their sweetheart.

Most of my wife’s friends will freely admit that they don’t do that anymore. In fact, if a guy in his mid-30’s gets three or four a year, he’s lucky.