These good old fashioned kids these days arguments would make a lot more sense if it weren’t for all that inconvenient evidence showing you guys didn’t quite get it as right as you figured. Divorce rates surged in the 70’s, peaked in the 80’s and fell off afterwards with current rates at levels not seen since the 60’s. Of course, maybe if people had been more honest about what they wanted rather than what they felt would look good to everyone else, or what they wanted when they were five years old, or what their parents want they wouldn’t have gotten in those divorces.
"Divorce rates, which peaked around 1980, are now at their lowest level since 1970. In fact, the often-cited statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce was true only in the 1970s—in other words, our parents’ marriages.
Not ours. According to U.S. Census data released this May, 77% of couples who married since 1990 have reached their 10-year anniversaries."
Love ya to death, BS, but I had to fix these for ya.
That being said, I personally wouldn’t get married in Vegas. I think a wedding should be about being with your closest friends and family. And if it’s just going to be you and her and the JP, then you can do that in your hometown, then vacation in Vegas. (It’s the same thing.) But again, this is just personal preference.
I actually have to get a prenup. There’s a trust (no current benefit, but future potential) and if i were to get married without sufficiently strong prenup I would forfeit claim to the trust.
As far as I know, there is no such thing as a “pre-nuptual agreement”. Any agreement that you sign before your nuptuals will change after you get married, because you have legally changed your relationship with that person. So any document would generally become null and void.
The more appropriate term would be “post-nuptual but pre-divorce agreement”.
You could definitely should sign a prenupt stating division of assets in the event of marriage. Thus the relationship would change but it would fall directly under the scope of the prenup.
I’ll keep that in mind. Obviously the location of our wedding will dictate whether or not we stay together based on this thoughtful and prudent analysis.
Not arguing just to argue, but I wouldn’t go with Vegas. Fast relationship start, unplanned kid within a year, and now a vegas marriage might not be a nice story for family and relatives.
I tend to agree with the line of thinking that defending oneself against the stigma of a LV wedding for the rest of your married lives is not worth the convienience of being able to get the whole thing over with in 24 hours. And if something does go wrong with the marriage in the long term, you’ll have to deal with “well of course, what did you expect, you got married in Las Vegas” as opposed to people taking time to think about the real pressures on you and her as a married couple.
It’s just a cliche that’s too easy to throw in your face when it’s convenient for whatever lazy thinker wants to. You can say “I don’t care what other people think,” but 1) it’s not just if you don’t care, it’s also that she needs to “not care,” and 2) more importantly, she needs to be able to “not care what other people think” during those inevitable difficult times that all marriages have to weather. Will she “not care what others think” when she’s mad at you? Will you not care what other people think when you’re mad at her?
I don’t think that it’s a decision that will unilaterally make or break your marriage, but I do think the downside is not worth the upside.
I’ve heard that weddings in Mexico can be done relativlely quickly, have an exotic feel, and don’t carry the same stigma. Plus have nice honeymoon potential. Maybe you should look into that. Acapulco or Veracruz or Mazatlan or Cancun or even Mexico City are possibilities.
I agree that getting eloped isn’t bad, but couldn’t you just go to the courthouse with plans to travel somewhere after you sign the paper? Not to sound too judgy, but what’s the point of formally having a wedding without going through with it 100% with parents, friends, a party, etc?
Bchad and Itera, I agree with the main points you’re making.
On the other hand for me and her its less a stigma than a great story that would be a really fun way to get married. In other words it’s not just about the convenience and for the vast majority of our friends based on initial feedback, it would be received as more of an awesome event than something to have to defend ourselves against. I know the optics are bad, but in the end we’re just enjoying doing what we want.