do it BS, life is short, who cares what others think.
another random thought. what about your child? will she be influenced into thinking a fast relationship hookup, unplanned pregnancy, and quick marriage is totally fine? because not all guys may be as genuine as you are. what if she gets dumped at first sign of pregnancy?
To summarize this thread for those just joining:
BS: “I’m thinking of getting married in Vegas. Thoughts?”
Everyone: “Don’t do it.”
BS: “Piss off. I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
I plan on tackling that one head on with her. Being pretty frank about what happened and the odds of why that generally doesn’t work out. Hopefully she can make her own decisions from there. Our situation was unintentional. I would expect most people to aim for a more traditional timeline just because it’s easier.
If you’re really into it, then that’s fine. But just make sure you’re really, genuinely into it, and not doing it kjust because it’s the path of least resistance. If you haven’t, talk with her about the fact that LV weddings sometimes come with a stigma and just make sure you’re both on the same page about how you feel about that and plan to deal with it.
As for “what about the children,” I don’t think that’s such a big issue. I think the decision to get married after having the baby was a good idea, because it makes the marriage feel more like a genuine, considered decision, rather than one possibly made under the duress of maintaining appearances, and that’s good for both of you. I think that children can get behind the idea that they were unplanned as long as the parents make it clear to them that unplanned does not mean unloved. If parents are happy and laughing about how their marriage broke all the rules, I doubt the child will feel that this reflects badly on him or her.
In the initial post I meant advice and pointers on getting married in Vegas, i.e. the logistics or what plans to make. Not whether or not I should do it, which is all these boring ass nerds can process. I mean I specifically asked if anyone had done it. Why the f*ck would I crowd source my decision to get married in Vegas to a collection of the most bland people I know? I was just looking on planning input in the event someone had some knowledge. Unfortuantely the one person on this thread who has done it never replied under the avalanche of people who felt the need to state an irrelevant opinion on the topic.
Another thought that comes to mind is the opportunity for major brownie points here - she’s pushing for LV, you give her a nice garden wedding with some tradition… she gets to boast about her sensitive and successful husband, you can ride that for 20 years, kid gets a nice story to back up her claim her dad’s the man. Win win.
come on man, that’s not very cool calling AF members that. No need to get combative
That felt like a disproportionate response. “Boring ass nerds” and the “most bland people” you know?
Right in the feels man.
I actually don’t mind the input from Itera, Bchad, Mk17, etc. So that was probably harsh.
But at the same time, I was asking for more specific experience and have to wade through blanket statements about divorce and kids out of wedlock from people who have never done an original thing in their life and can only operate under the defacto assumption that everyone is trying to emulate their glorious life path.
Well, my brother eloped to an exotic location. Parents, siblings, friends devastated. Everyone, except me, because i knew no one else was, told him they were fine with the idea. Most people are going to offer support even though they may really view the matter very differently. My mom was literally in tears at a different wedding while her son was getting married halfway around the World on short notice. He actually believed her when she said she was okay with it. Please. He knew better, but wanted to believe that he wasn’t causing his sister and parents distraught. I’m sure my mom will enjoy fielding the questions for the rest of her life. “I thought you had a good relationship with your son?” Not too fun when I’m present to hear that one.
I appreciate the input, its something worth thinking about. I’m not trying to discourage all advice here.
The ZeroBonus’s of this world were just bothering me with the judgements.
I was wondering why some of the comments in response were so harsh but that hissy fit explains a lot…
Well that harsh comments came first. At some point after ZB decided to point out that I was on my way to two kids and a divorce and tozertt basically told me to have fun getting a baby sitter and that I was living my life in the wrong order I just decided to stop pretending I had any respect for the people airing some of those opinions.
Anyhow, the response may have been harsher than required (although I’m not convinced of it based on those remarks) but it wasn’t meant for people that were giving somewhat considerate responses.
It all depends on your budget too. If you want to do something inexpensive, I’d go with the Little White Chapel. It’s been the scene of several celebrity weddings, including Britney Spears when she married that doofus.
If you’re willing to spend a little bit, then you can do anything you want. While in Vegas I’ve seen weddings (as in I’ve witnessed them from a distance, not invited) at the Bellagio, Wynn, and Caesars. Caesars looked like the most fun (they treat you like an emperor) while the Bellagio and Wynn were more traditional in nature.
Either way, have In-N-Out cater the food. Can’t go wrong there.
^ It’ll be his wedding night, so In-N-Out is a given.
Second this, doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Good luck and congrats.
What’s the difference between eloping and getting married? Isn’t eloping just running away to get married? Is there a stigma to that because you aren’t around friends and family?
I’ve always wondered how a pre/post-nuptual works. I’ve heard that they don’t work because the other party will state that “they were pressured into signing something”. And how would you bring this up? I want a contract just in case we divorce? Doesn’t that set a precedent that it’s going to go wrong even before marriage has begun?
Well with the prenups based on the short research I did, its better before marriage but stating that it will go into effect upon marriage. Otherwise it’s easier to state that it’s not what you originally signed on for, you were pressured with divorce, etc. You want to make sure its unpressured, all assets have to be disclosed at the time of the signing, etc. It would be up to the signee to then prove they were unfairly pressured.
Eloping is basically running off to get married. My ten or so closest friends will be there just due to it being on a trip, but probably not any family. I’m very close to my family but they mostly just want us to make it official, I don’t get the impression they’ll mind terribly if the wedding happens quickly like that.
At the end of the day, my family is very supportive and I’ve always been pretty individualistic. They’ll respect my right to have things the way we want them.
As far as bringing it up, its easy because I will either get disinherited from the trust or sign the prenup. It’s the same deal for each of my brothers (who are already married). There’s no reason she should have a claim to what my parents’ worked for and she would understand that.