Agree with a few of the comments above- don’t make things to serious by trying to have some sort of discussion. Take it slow, keep it light, and enjoy yourself in the meantime with what your city has to offer.
OK. Just want to add one more comment to see what you guys think. Also on the second night, I did make her CRY, which i thought was a bit odd! I thought she wasnt interested, due to mixed signals and her a bit earlier in the day saying she just needs time to process things on her own (something to that effect she said anyway) she said it didnt mean she wasnt interested, but just thats how she is, still to me that meant she wasnt and was just trying to sugar coat it. So anyway, i thought no point in trying with her, but ill still be friendly and nice enough. Went for dinner, left after dinner (no drinks after, as when I asked she said we can go home if I want, so I assume that meant go… more on that later). Go home, I tell her Ill sleep on couch this time, shes a little suprised, I go shower, come back from shower and say ok you can go shower now if you want. She starts crying and said something to the effect that I was being abrupt etc, and I then smoothed it over, as didnt want her to cry and said well I thought she wanted to go to bed, as didnt want to stay out and wasnt interested (drinks was a miscommunication, she thought I wanted to go or something it turns out). She also said she didnt know why she was crying. Anyway, so i say lets have some wine on couch, so we do that, talk for quite a while, and eventually bedtime we decide, I say ill sleep on couch and she says i dont have to and should sleep in bed, so we go to bed and talk more in there, and I dont make any moves, thought I cant read this girl let her do it all. Eventually after talking for a while she moves over for spooning and so we talk more and spoon/hold to sleep, So yeh dunno what the crying was all about. Next morning spooning etc, until 12 or 1, she didnt want to get out of bed. And didnt kiss, thought again, cant read, im not making the move, and then eventually she comes in for a kiss with lips, but for like 2 seconds, and says thats it because she has bad morning breathe (side note:I dont think she did) So yeh, shes complicated/not interested/i dunno?? why did she cry too?
Sounds to me like she is not over her ex. But if that’s what happened, you don’t need to borrow trouble. If you genuinely like her (which it sounds like you do), you do not want to be the rebound guy and then have her decide you were the rebound guy once she’s regained her bearings.
Yeah, bchadwicks guess sounds highly plausible. She’s in love with another guy probably. But, she wants the comfort etc. In any case you need to take off your pants and let her get a good look at you with a nice big hard-on. This chatting/spooning over analyzing stuff is only gonna get in the way. Man up and whip it out. Help her forget all about the other guy.
I’m going to stick with my original sell recommendation, unless of course you don’t mind ending up being an emotional tampon for this broad.
If you do genuinely like her, I’d wait it out for at least a few months, or yeah, at best you’re the rebound guy. Shit luck though, having the girl cry on you must have been a complex clusterf*ck.
Well dudes, here I am and I stillm dont know whats going on. Messaged her yesterday to say lets talk that night on phone. She said she was going to dinner with a friend and wasnt sure when shed be back. But would text me if it wasnt too late and said if not then maybe tomorrow? So I didnt hear from her yesterday, guess dinner went too late? Anyway, Im done with it now, she can contact me if she wants to, as you guys say I got to focus on creating other prospects i guess. just pissed me off that she would do things that indicate shes interested etc.
She didn’t have a fun weekend with u. She thought you would dance like a gigolo and make her laugh.
Transfer when you write stuff it depresses me
i cannot concur more …for a long time partner u want simplicity …for sowing your oats then complexity is the way to go …forget this gem at your own peril
Sorry for depressing you guys. Im pretty upset about this one. I actually finally found one I liked. Back to the old drawing board.
Wow…a guy can put so much thought into what a girl wants/feels/needs/thinks/does/says. Not sure if I should be impressed or disappointed.
Its cos you guys are so hard to read. why not just be direct. As in this case, she could just say look sorry but i dont think its gonna work out. WOuld put me out of my mysery faster.
I said get a dog.
You can’t always want what you get… But if you try sometimes…
Do you guys think its a bad move to message her and says “Hi, you seem to be avoiding me. I don’t mind if youre feelings have changed, but I would appreciate if you could be straight with me and let me know”
or better yet get a cat …seriously ole “wait did my phone just blink …no why hasnt she texted back yet”
That is an awful idea. Seriously, you need to just stop being so weird and talk to her. Maybe you can alleviate some of her weirdness that way…although you’ve probably blown it. For example, saying that you will sleep on the couch when there is a girl you are interested in sleeping over with no one else there…?! Never, ever, ever do that again. Don’t worry about what she wants to do, just say what you want to do. If she has different plans then she should speak up. Did you want to get another drink or not? If not, you should have a better plan than saying “I’m sleeping on the couch” and taking a shower. wtf
Just tell her what you want. Girls appreciate strong characters who can take charge of the situation. You can’t keep doing all this wishy-washy stuff. It sends all sorts of weird signals. Where is ChickenTikka when you need him?
Brief threadjack: This thread makes me hate women. Online dating makes me hate dating. I just wish I were better at picking up women for ONS (or get a FWB) and just dealing with it that way. Either way, this thread reminds me of a weekend a year ago when a girl friend came to stay with me for a couple of days on her drive home from college. Despite my best efforts to convey interest and flirt, she was having none of it. That notwithstanding, we still had a great weekend.